Salted Wound
by alinaparkerson
Summary: Christian had always wanted a submissive who is obedient and into his lifestyle. But is there such a thing "too" obedient for him, too?
1. Chapter 1: The Girl

**Disclaimer: Characters and main plot belongs to E.L James. I only own the story line and the additional characters.**

 **Warning: This story contains sexual assault.**

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 **Chapter 1:The Girl**

"It's been a long time, Christian," Elena purred over the phone. I sighed. Even though I knew that she was right, finding an appropriate submissive was hard these days, and I need to let it out. I even thought about calling Leila. She had been the most obedient submissive I'd ever had, but I knew that she'd probably misunderstand me and hope for more. That just wouldn't do. Shit.

 _Hearts and flowers, Grey._

"I guess you're right," she laughed softly. She was always right about me. Worse, she knew it and enjoyed that fact. "I'll go."

"I'll let Lena know that you're coming. How about tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah, sure. See you soon, Elena." I hung up and stared at the calendar on my desk. Andrea had cleared my weekend as usual, just like I asked her. Without a submissive to fuck, though, weekends were boring and empty. Frustrating, even. I needed a submissive, just like Elena said, but I found myself troubled in finding one, probably for the first time in my life. The meetings with past two candidates were disasters. The potential submissives were both attractive brunettes, but I couldn't stand their ignorant minds. One of them talked like her lips were glued togetherand couldn't let her words out. Despite the fact I hated disobedient submissives, a little change could've been nice.

 _Paying for sex, Grey. Impressive._

I shook my head and opened my notebook to work.

* * *

"I'm sorry for the traffic, sir," Taylor said over the driver's seat. I knew that these hours were the worst in terms of traffic, so I just gave him a nod. Why make a big deal out of a simple fact? It looked like all of Seattle was pouring out for the weekend. I pulled my Blackberry out to answer some emails, but most of them required further paperwork and contracts, so I simply slipped my phone back into my pocket and gazed out the window.

In the car beside us, a little girl stared back at me. I knew that she couldn't actually see me, though, tinted windows and all, but she still smiled and waved from where she sat. Sardonically, I chuckled to myself. Children were so naive and, frankly, unintelligent that I couldn't understand how their parents could keep up with them. Pulling me out of my musings, Taylor slowed the car down as we pulled into the parking lot.

I looked over the building. One could've mistaken it for an expensive apartment or a hotel, but I knew the truth. Having the appearance of a luxury get-away location didn't change what happened inside. Still, an extravagant whorehouse was better than a cheap one. As Taylor came around to open my door, I could see one of the security guards drag a girl outside of the building, handing her off to the guard outside the building.

"Ms. Gambert wants her out." Their words were hushed, but I still managed to make their words out. I abruptly stopped in my tracks when I saw the girl's tacky and filthy dress and much-too-slim body. She looked so thin. Tears were streaming down her pale cheeks, but she didn't make a sound while the guard grabbed her arm and started to drag her away.A veil of brown hair fell around her face kept me from turning my head and walking I saw a wide, round pair of blue eyes. Full of tears and fear. I needed to stop them. I needed to stop them now.

"Stop!" The guard stopped walking mid-step at my shout and turned to face me.

"Sir?"

"What did she do?"

"I don't know,sir. ordered us to remove her from the building."

"Don't." I tried to make eye contact with the girl, but her gaze was trained on her feet. If I were her dominant, I'd probably find this act to be desirable, but right now, it frustrated me.

"She doesn't even work here, sir." The guard had a surprised expression on his face, probably shocked at my display of authority, but he still didn't soften his grasp on the girl. I could see his fingers digging her bare, thin arms. Surely, it was painful for her, but she didn't make a sound. I could see her tears falling to the ground, and that brought a frown to my face. Lena Gambert always took care of her submissives, so it made sense that this girl didn't work here. However, there had to be a reason why she was there.

"I figured," I replied, my tone still full of authority. I wasn't going to discuss the girl with some security guard; I was going straight to Lena. "Wait here while I figure out what the hell is going on." He looked troubled, but I didn't give him a mere moment to object. I turned around and entered the building, and the receptionist greeted me cheerfully,

"Welcome, Mr. Grey. Mrs. Lincoln called to inform us that you'd be coming today."

"I'd like to talk with Lena." I saw the immediate panic that crossed over her face, thinking she'd done something wrong. I didn't have time to deal with her insecurity, so I simply watched her swallow hard and dial Lena. She talked quickly in a hushed tone, and she turned to me with a wary expression.

"She's waiting for you in upstairs, sir." I offered a curt nod and walked briskly to the elevator. I didn't know what I was going to do yet, but I knew this girl needed help. She looked absolutely starved, and I wasn't going to sit back and watch her get her ass kicked. A soothing piano ballad was playing in the background of the elevator. I didn't know its name, but it was remarkably beautiful. When I reached the correct floor, I strolled on down to Lena's office. I knocked once before her sharp voice invited me inside.

"Mr. Grey." We shook hands, and she pointed to the seat in front of her desk. "Is there a problem?"

"I just saw a woman who seemed to be in a quite horrid condition being thrown outside by your guard. I want to know who she is."

"Oh, she doesn't work here, Mr. Grey," she confirmed, relieved. I could see that she thought that I was going to give her a lecture about taking care of her submissives.

"I didn't ask that," I remarked in a calm, collected voice, but inside, I was fuming. I was in full-CEO mode, and I had already decided to take the girl home with me. I needed to know first, though if she had some beef with her or something. Lena raised her eyebrows before inhaling deeply.

"She's a submissive, apparently. Someone dropped her off here two days ago like she was a cat or something. She was seriously injured and beaten up. So, we took her in and tried to contact a relative or something, but she said that her master was going to take her back. Nobody ever came for her, though, and we couldn't keep her here forever, Mr. Grey. This is not a foster home."

"Did you check the security cameras? You could've found this person she refers to as her master."

"We did, Mr. Grey, but we couldn't identify him." I let out a sigh. Welch could probably find him. Maybe I could hand her back to him after feeding her.

"I'm going to take her with me." I could tell that Lena was confused, but I didn't give a damn.

"Mr. Grey, she is a complete stranger. No one knows who this woman is. You can take her if you want, I guess, but I'm not taking any responsibility for anything that may happen."

"I wasn't looking for someone to take responsibility, nor was I asking for your permission. I was simply letting you know what my plans were so that if someone comes looking for her, you can let me know."

She nodded at me, offering a polite grin. "Okay. Have a good day, Mr. Grey."

"Bye, Lena." Not bothering to talk to her any longer, I made my way as quickly as I could back down to the front door. That foolish guard was still clutching her like a rag doll. I was going to make sure he was fired as soon as I got home. I couldn't imagine how he was treating these people.

"You can let her go," I demanded. "Lena agreed." He hesitantly let go of her, and that's when I understood why he was holding her so tightly. She could barely stand on her own. She looked like she was about to faint, and her eyes were still trained on the concrete beneath her. I held out my hand to her, hoping she responded to it.

"My name is Christian Grey. I'm going to help you. What is your name?" She looked at me from the corner of her eye but instead of answering, she just shook her head. What the fuck does that mean?

"Come with me." Still, she didn't answer. "Please? You need to eat." Nothing. I had no other choice, so I put an arm around her waist, walking her to the car. Taylor was already waiting outside of the car, his stance professional, but he looked surprised by my company. Wisely, he offered no commentary as he opened the door. I helped her inside, buckling her seat belt for her before getting in beside her and doing the same for myself.

"Escala, sir?"

"Yes, Taylor."

I looked over at the small girl. She looked like a puppet more than a human. Her yellowish dress was barely covering her knees and shoulders. She was sitting there her hands folded in her lap. Clearly, she wasn't willing to engage in conversation, so I took my Blackberry out and texted Dr. Flynn, asking him to come over immediately, and I also sent a message to Welch, asking him to find a high quality private doctor that would come to Escala tonight. I could see the injuries Lena was talking about Now that I was closer to this girl, I could see there were bruises all over her neck and wrists, as well as fresh looking scrapes and a cut in her forehead. I was horrified to realize the marks on her neck resembles fingers. Connecting the dots, I realized they were hand prints. Someone had tried to choke her. A shiver ran through her small frame.

"Taylor, raise the temperature, please. By several degrees." He obeyed without question. The temperature inside started to warm, but her shivers didn't cease. It was probably fear, then, that was causing her to tremble. So why didn't she make a sound? Taylor pulled over once we reached Escala, and he opened the door. I held my hand out to her again to see if she'd take it, but her hands were still curled into her lap. I was starting to think that she liked being dragged everywhere like a doll. I sighed and picked her up, and before we could get inside, she fainted. I cradled her feather light body against my chest and walked to the apartment. With her hair away from her face and her head slightly lolled back, I could finally see her face fully. She looked so unhealthy, bruised, and extremely pale but beautiful. Taylor looked at me in question, and I decided to let him in on my musings.

"She needs care. I ordered Flynn and a doctor here to check up on her. They'll be arriving soon. I don't know who she is. It'd be great if we could find out."

"You don't even know her name, sir?" If only I did. This would be so much easier.

"I don't know. She doesn't talk."

"She might be deaf or mute." I nodded in agreement. I guess he's right. We would figure out eventually. I pointed Taylor toward the room where all of my submissives stayed, and he opened the door for me. I laid the girl down on the bed, covering her up with a throw blanket and staring at her face.

* * *

"She's not mute or deaf, that's for sure. However, her anal and vaginal trauma is quite serious, Mr. Grey. She needs rest from any intercourse. Two of her ribs are broken, so she should take it easy in order to heal. The cut in her head is deep but looks too old to stitch up. She needs to rest properly, and her bruises will probably heal completely in a month."

I stared at the doctor, clenching my teeth together in fury. I knew that she was hurt, but the damage was far beyond what I imagined it would be. What kind of a dominant would rape his submissive? The thought sickened me.

"Thank you, Doctor. Taylor will show you the way out." I stood there for a few minutes before getting myself a glass of whiskey. How could I take care of her like this? John said that her physical health was more important now than her mental health, but I still needed to convince her that I wasn't going to hurt her. He suggested that she start therapy after she began to talk, otherwise it wouldn't do much good. I breathed heavily.

 _What did you get yourself into, Grey? You should've let the guards take her away._

No. I refused to accept that. There was no way that she could survive in such a bad condition. She needed help, and it looked like it was my job now. I distracted myself from thinking by microwaving the lasagna Gail left in the fridge for me then went to wake her up. She needed to eat. She could sleep some other time. As soon as I got into the room, I noticed immediately that she was having a nightmare. She was curled up in a ball and whimpering slightly, and her face was damp with sweat, but she wasn't screaming. I turned the light on and sat beside her on the bed, gently shaking her shoulder.

"Hey there, wake up. You're having a nightmare. Wake up." It didn't take her too long to wake. As soon as she became aware of her surroundings, she jumped in front me and kneeled, a familiar position for a submissive, but her head was on the floor, too. I stayed silent for a few moments, allowing her to get her bearings and calm down. Her breathing turned normal but she didn't change her position.

"Hey," I called down to her, as gently as I could. Fuck. It'd be a lot easier if I just knew her name. "I'm not your master. Stand up." She didn't stand up but raised her head and looked at me with the same tear stained blue eyes. She examined my face, as if trying to figure out who I was. I decided to help her.

"My name is Christian. I'm not your master, and I'm not going to hurt you. I just want to help." One of her delicate hands went to her ribs, and she softly touched it and winced. I held out my hand for the third time, and she still didn't go for it.

"Come with me. I need to feed you." Her eyes widened, and surprise filled her expression. Confusion filled mine. Was she surprised that I was going to give her food? My stomach flipped. "Come on," I ordered again, hoping she listened, even though I had no authority over her. She hesitantly stood up and followed me, with small steps, to the kitchen. The table was ready, so I set her plate down and sat down with mine. She just stood beside the table. I motioned the empty chair in front of mine.

"Sit." Her eyebrows knit together, and a little "v" forming between them. I wanted to smooth it out with my fingers. "You can't eat standing. Come on, sit." She was still hesitant, but she sat down, finally. Everything about her movements was filled with fear and uncertainty. It took me nearly five minutes to convince her to pick up the fork and eat, but eventually, she did. I asked her if she wanted more, but unsurprisingly, I didn't get a single word out of her. After putting the dishes into the washing machine, I gently touched her shoulder. She didn't shy away, as I expected.

"You should rest. Do you remember the room you woke up in? It's your room for a while. Do you understand?" She say anything, but she stood up and just walked to the bedroom with the same small steps as before. She still looked like she was about to faint while walking, but thankfully, she didn't. I watched her go into the room before I headed to mine, not wanting to make her more nervous by hovering. For the first time in a long time, I fell asleep thinking about a woman.

* * *

 **Hello everbody!**

 **I'm sorry for any mistakes, English is my second language and I hope I can get better by writing more.**

 **I hope you like my story and review.**

 **Have a good day!**

 **-Alina**

 **P.S I want to thank ptl4ever419 and FannieForever15 for beta reading.**


	2. Chapter 2: Blue

**Chapter 2:Blue**

I woke up to the annoying sound of my alarm, not nightmares like usual, which was interesting. The sun had yet to rise, but I needed to work out and work on some agreements that Ros emailed me, so I dragged myself out of bed, and I took a quick shower. After getting dressed, I threw on some running sneakers. I was about to hit the road when I suddenly felt an urge to go check on the girl. I needed to figure out a way to make her talk to me.

I quietly walked down the hall and opened the door. Panic surged through me when I discovered that the bed was empty. Looking around, I found her little body curled up on the floor. Was she uncomfortable in the bed? Surely it wasn't unpleasant to sleep on. I decided to tell Taylor to replace it as soon as possible, anyways, and I carried her over to the bed. It was then that I realized that she was in desperate need of a shower. How had I not smelled this before? I lay her down and tucked her into the plush covers. It was raining constantly these days, and a chill seemed to be seeping into the building. I didn't want her to catch pneumonia since she had enough health problems already. That reminded me, I needed to ask Taylor if he got her medication. I looked down at the girl and the little "v" formed between her eyebrows again, but her breathing was steady. Feeling comfortable enough to leave her now, I go out for a run.

After about an hour and a half, I decided to go and purchase something for breakfast. I didn't know what she liked, but I needed to feed her. There was a small coffee shop and bakery around the corner right before turning to Escala, so I stopped there. It was a cozy little place, but I didn't like the stupid lines. Taylor had bought some croissants here before, and they were nice, so I guess it's worth the wait. Given the fact that both my mother and Mia loved croissants for breakfast, it's probably a safe choice. I let myself think it was some kind of "women taste." So, I waited for fifteen minutes to get three stupid croissants.

 _Why bother, Grey? She'd eat whatever you gave her._

Her slim arms and skinny legs appeared in my mind while walking the rest of the way back to Escala. I had no idea what to do to with her. She was beyond broken, and I didn't know how to fix her. Hell, I didn't even know if I could fix her. Taylor was already up and waiting for me at the entrance when I entered. He was holding a few bags, and he handed them to me as I passed him.

"The girl's medication and some clothes, Mr. Grey."

"Thank you, Taylor. Did you find any information on her? Anything at all?"

"I'm afraid not, sir. We couldn't find anything on her in any missing person searches, so I guess nobody is looking for her. It'd be much easier if we at least knew her name. We're going off of appearances at the moment, but it seems nearly impossible. I assume she hasn't spoken yet?"

"No." I shake my head, furiously. Since she was obviously a submissive, I could use dominance against her, but since Flynn said that she was most likely abused by her former dominant, it would only worsen her condition. I didn't want to frighten her, or scare her more than she already is. I remembered her disturbing look when I told her to eat yesterday. She was hesitant and scared in everything she did.

I took another shower to cleanse myself of the sweat I worked up during my run and placed the croissants on the table with two coffees. It was time to wake the girl up. She was sleeping soundly this time. Her frown was gone, and I couldn't help but watch her for a few minutes.

"Hey there, wake up. It's morning." Though I was speaking in a hushed voice in an attempt to calmly wake her up, she woke with a start. Her clear blue eyes met mine, then she looked around the room. Her breathing became short and quick, and within seconds of waking, she threw herself back to the floor, taking her full-submissive position again. I took a few deep breaths. She wasn't sleeping on the floor because she was uncomfortable. She thought she belonged on the floor. That realization disturbed me more than I thought possible.

"Hey." Calling her like this was starting to get old. I should find her a nickname or something. I kneeled on the floor in front of her, trying to make eye contact, but her brown curls were matted and sticking to her face, making it impossible.

"I'm not your dominant, and I'm not going to hurt you. I'm just trying to help. You don't need to throw yourself to the ground every time I come in or sleep on the floor, for that matter. Actually, I don't want to see you on the floor again." She was unresponsive, but I could see the tension in her shoulders was gone, and she raised her eyes to me. I was stunned. The look in her clear blue eyes was nothing I've ever seen before. It was like she was trying to look right through me and see my soul, and oddly enough, it felt like she could. This unfamiliar sensation made me break eye contact with her, and I set the bags from Taylor on the bed.

"Here are some clean clothes. Please use the shower in the attached bathroom. Do you understand?" She looked at me for a few seconds, her eyes traveling all around my face, and she gave me a slight nod. I couldn't help but smile at the first response I finally managed to get from her.

"Ah," I said with a grin. "Finally, you decided to grace me with a response. I was starting to think the doctors were wrong and that you really were deaf, Blue.

 _Blue, Grey?_ Guess that's her nickname now.

The corners of her mouth were about to rise into a smile, but she caught herself quickly and put on the blank face I saw yesterday. I stand up from the floor, helping her up as I go, sighing.

"Go ahead and shower and dress, and I'll be waiting in the kitchen down the hall with breakfast when you're ready." This time, I didn't wait for an answer.

* * *

I was reading an article on global warming from the last page of the newspaper when I heard a small pattering of footsteps coming from the hallway. Showering took her much longer than I had anticipated it would. If she hadn't come out by the time I finished the article, I was going to go check on her. I looked up at her, and she froze in her tracks. She was dressed in a simple outfit of dark blue jeans and a white blouse. Her hair was still dripping wet and wasn't tamed by any brush or comb, but she looked beautiful and much cleaner, too. The cut on the side of her forehead looked much better now, but the bruises covering her body were still a sight for sore eyes. Her hands were laced together in front of her. She looked at me with wary eyes. It was like she was waiting for something to happen, but I couldn't figure out what.

"Your coffee is cold now," I said, gesturing the chair in front of me. She was quick at taking hints, and she quickly came and sat down in the chair. I picked up her coffee mug, feeling out of place as I dumped the now luke warm coffee out and getting her a fresh cup.

"Do you like croissants? I can order something else if you want." She shook her head and reached for one, looking up at me as if asking if it was okay. I nodded at her. She ate slowly, and I felt her pain. Starvation wasn't an easy thing to overcome, and it was something I knew well. I tried to pull my gaze from her and focus on the newspaper, but I found it difficult. Her wet hair was all over the place, and I was worried that she was going to get sick. I let out a deep breath I didn't realize I'd been holding.

"I'd really like you to go dry your hair." She looked surprised at my request and swallowed hard.

 _You're scaring her, Grey._

"Did you see the hair dryer?" She shook her head uneasily. Ironically, I didn't exactly know where it was, either, since Mrs. Jones cleaned the submissives' bedroom and bath.

"I'm sure we can find one," I told her, trying my best to keep my tone light, and headed towards her bedroom.

I couldn't find the fucking hair dryer, and I was getting irritated. Where the fuck had Gail put it? After several minutes of looking, I just decided to use mine. I stormed out of the room and headed to my own bedroom. I could see Blue standing in the middle of the living room, looking quite uncertain, so I quickly fetched my hair dryer and comb. When I came back to her, I became confused, as her head was bowed again. I didn't understand why she was acting like that after I made it clear that I wasn't her dominant, but I couldn't let it get to me. I had a job to do, to take care of her. I sat down on the couch and threw a pillow between my open legs.

"Blue?" I was starting to like the nickname more and more. It suited her. She looked like she accepted the name already, as she raised her head and looked at me. I pointed toward the space on the floor between my legs with the comb in one hand and the hair dryer in the other. "Come here." She looked surprised again but made no sound, and she came and sat down between my legs. I started to comb her hair as gently as possible. I didn't want to pull her hair and hurt her. It was nothing but a big mess for someone who never combed someone else's hair, but I started to think of her brown locks as the ropes that got tangled on my boat, the Grace, and I just needed to sort them out. It got easier after that. However, I slowed down when I noticed the way the girl leaned into my legs. It felt nice actually, to see that she finally started to trust me. Even if it was just a little bit. I slowly combed out all the tangles in her hair and dried it while she obediently kept still.

I turned the dryer off, and she turned into me. Her eyes searched my face again. I smiled and gazed at her beautiful face and now smooth, shiny brown hair that fell around her face like a waterfall. She didn't stop herself this time, as the corners of her mouth rose. Her smile was gorgeous, too, just like the rest of her.

She made no attempt to stand up, and I didn't want to break this moment, but I was starting to feel much too attached. I needed to distract myself. I turned on the television, even though I knew I wouldn't be paying much attention to any show with this girl here with me. A blonde girl was traveling to Paris, and she was making these foolish, shallow comments at everything she saw. I snorted involuntarily. Paris was so much deeper than this moron could ever see. All those poets and writers didn't venture off to Paris for no reason; it was the kind of place that made you think that anything was possible. Blue turned to me, a curious look on her face. I couldn't help but laugh a little.

"That girl has no idea what Paris is about. Paris is the kind of city that could give you inspiration. In everything. Whatever you do. Paris could give you an idea." She didn't smile this time, but turned to look at the television again. She watched the girl on the screen, as I watched the pretty girl who was about to fall asleep between my legs. She couldn't resist the pull of slumber, and after some time, her head leaned into my right knee. I watched her sleep for a few minutes before carrying her to her room. It was early, but I could understand how tired her body was. Even the little tasks I gave her so far to take care of herself were a little too much. She needed sleep to recover, and I needed time to get my mind off of her and focus on the ignorant Korean company who had impossible demands with my name on them.

* * *

 _New master was kind and funny. I didn't know when I was going to do something piss him off, but I didn't want that time to come. He kept saying that he's not my master. Just like the master said he wasn't my boss when I first met him. I knew it wasn't real._

 _I wanted it to be real._

 _I put my head into his knee. Being trapped between his legs made me feel safe. I hoped he didn't hit me too hard or fuck me against the window like master did. I wondered when he was going to hand me an agreement and want to own me. He talked to me. He talked to me without being mean or rude or overly demanding. He was kind enough to let me have two meals already and let me use his shower. He even combed out my hair for me._

 _New master was different._

* * *

 **Thank you all so much for your encouraging and kind reviews.**

 **I'm sorry for the mistakes Ana4267 pointed out from the first chapter. I fixed them, since I know nothing about medicine I just made them up.**

 **Special thanks to kenziestar and** **FannieForever15** **for fixing my mistakes.**

 **Please review, everybody!**

 **-Alina**


	3. Chapter 3: Third

**Chapter 3:The Third**

I was working some paperwork when my phone started to ring. I sighed, slamming my pen down and looking at the screen. Elena. I wasn't in the mood for talking with her and listening to her scolding me about Blue. She was going to think that I was being irresponsible by letting someone I know nothing about into my house. While that was a valid point, how could I leave her like that? She'd probably end up dead in the streets. She was safe now, and I let myself hope that she would get better and start talking to me. I didn't answer Elena's call, but my eyes caught the clock, seeing that it was already three. Blue needed to eat.

I went to the kitchen, but I was completely useless as a cook, so I called Taylor to get bowls of soup and sandwiches.

Watching the city from penthouse was always interesting, in a way. People seemed so small, like little ants trying to make their way from one place to another. They looked almost innocent, like they were all the same. The more you get closer to the ground, though, the more they got worse. I thought about the girl's dominant. Whoever he was, he was out there probably enjoying another submissive while this girl was suffering in silence. I wanted to find out who he was as soon as possible so that I could make sure he suffered as much as she did.

"Mr. Grey." Taylor's voice broke into my thoughts, and I turned around to see him place two bags on the counter.

"Thank you, Taylor."

"Sir." He nodded and left. I went to wake the girl, but she was walking out of the room just as I started down the hall. She glanced at me before looking back down at her feet.

"I was just coming to wake you," I told her, as softly as I could. "Lunch is here. Come." She gave me that same hesitant, confused look I got every time I offered her food. Despite her apprehension, she followed me to the kitchen and sat down while I got the soup out of the bag and placed in front of her. I sat down and got my own bowl out, handing her a spoon. She hesitantly pulled the lid off and inhaled deeply when the scent of tomato soup filled the room. She glanced over at me, and I was surprised to see her eyes filled with tears.

"Blue? What's the matter?" I asked her, getting up and walking over to her chair. I knelt beside her, wondering if she didn't like tomato soup. Was she that upset because she didn't like tomato? Did she think I would force her to eat it? "Is it the soup? Is there something wrong with it?" Of course, she didn't answer me. She only shook her head, and her tears started to stream down her face. I hesitantly pulled her to my chest. At that moment in time, I wasn't thinking about her touching my chest. I didn't really care if she made contact with me in that way. I just couldn't bear seeing her cry, especially if I had caused those tears. Normally, I wouldn't feel so guilty over making someone cry, especially if we were in a scene, but we weren't in that kind of situation. Not at all. Her shoulders shook with gut-wrenching sobs, and I gently caressed her back. She felt so delicate in my arms, so thin. I pulled her closer and just let her cry. Crying was good, I thought. It was better than holding all inside. I could tell she had suffered greatly. When her sobs finally lessened, I carefully raised her chin a little to look into her eyes. Seeing these huge blue eyes bloodshot with tears made my heart ache for her. This was affecting me in a way that I'd never known. I wanted to make it better. I gently wiped her tears away with my thumbs and held her face between my hands to hold her attention.

"Blue? Didn't you like the soup? I can order you something else. Is… is it something I did?" She shook her head and swallowed hard. Her lips parted, as if she would speak, but I knew better by now. Unless…

"I-" her soft, velvet-like voice interrupted my thoughts. Her voice, it was like satin, but it was broken at the same time. "I missed it." It was nearly a whisper, but I heard it anyways.

"Soup?" She nodded with a blush. I grinned back at her and brushed my thumbs across her cheeks once more. "You can order anything you want, any time. Okay?" She nodded and smiled. Her face was beautiful, even when it was tear stained. I let her go after being sure that she was calmed down, and I sat down in my seat again. She grabbed her spoon and started to sip at her soup. I picked my soup up and set it next to her first bowl. The sandwich was enough for me. I'd make sure she could eat all the tomato soup in Seattle if it would make her happy. She glanced over at me, a small smile gracing her lips. Instead of disbelief, I saw joy on her face.

We ate in silence. I wanted to ask her what her name was, where her master was, and so much more, but I knew that she would withdraw if I pushed her too far. She talked to me once, and she'll talk again when she's ready.

After cleaning the table and coming back over to her, I suddenly felt a strange bout of awkwardness. I didn't know how she spent her time. She couldn't sit down here all day staring at nothing, as she'd been taught to do, but I didn't quite know how to spend the day with her. She was watching me carefully, and there was a calm look in her eyes that wasn't there before.

"Do you want to watch a movie?" It was the only thing that came to my mind. It was probably the only thing that we could do together that didn't involve much interaction or speaking. She nodded and followed me to the living room. I looked at the DVDs I had, trying to choose something to watch. What kind of movies did she like?

"Do you want to choose the movie?" I asked her, not wanting to put something on that she would dislike. Of course, I liked all of them, seeing how I'd collected them over the years, so anything she picked, I would enjoy. She was sitting nervously at the end of the couch, like someone was going to tell her to stand at any time. She shook her head. Shit. Okay. I let out a deep breath and pulled The Philadelphia Story from the rack. It was Grace's favorite movie, so I hoped she would like it. I put it in the player and sat beside her. She was still nervous, but I wasn't going to let her pull back again. Her breakdown in the kitchen was progress, and she needed to move forward, not back. I held my hand out to her, and she studied my face. I tried to let my expression show that she could trust me. She hesitantly placed her hand in mine and let me pull her to my chest once again. It wasn't something I usually do, sitting in the couch with a pretty girl in my arms and watching an old movie, but by the time movie ended, I decided that I loved it. I watched her body more than the movie, the way her chest shook when she laughed and how she bites her full lip when a sad part came on. She was fascinating.

The credits came and went, but she made no attempt to move, and neither did I. I was comfortable with her, which was odd. I wasn't even comfortable like this around my mother. I frowned and looked down at her. She was chewing her bottom lip, and I couldn't help but think how much I wanted to do that.

 _Chill, Grey. She's not your submissive._

I gently pulled her bottom lip out from between her teeth with my thumb and raised her chin so that I could look into her bright blue eyes. Her eyes looked so big in her little face, but nothing has ever appealed to me more than her eyes. They were so expressive but mysterious at the same time. I didn't even understand how that was possible. Once more, it felt like they were seeing right into my soul.

"Did you like the movie?" I asked. I wanted to hear her voice again, but she disappointed me by only nodding.

"It is my mother's favorite. My brother and I used to watch it with her." She smiled at me, but it didn't reach her eyes. It was like she was smiling on my behalf, not that she was actually happy. My frown deepened.

"Why don't you talk to me, hmm?" I caressed her chin. "What is your name?"

She was frightened. I could see it in her trembling bottom lip and in the tears that threaten to fall. Her body was shaking, and she closed her eyes. I couldn't help but notice the way her cheek raised to me, and I realized that she was waiting for me to hit her, but why? Have I not gained her trust yet? I understood that she was used to being beaten up, but why would I hit her now? Why now? Her submissive position made my chest clench. She looked like a little child. I bent down and kissed her cheek. I knew that Flynn told me to avoid sexual acts with her, but a kiss on the cheek wasn't considered intimate, was it? I mean, I didn't want to fuck her.

 _Liar._

Okay, maybe the desire was there, but not right now. Not while she was waiting for a blow to come. I only wanted her to feel safe. I wanted her to understand that I wasn't like her old dominant. Her eyes opened after a few seconds. The confused look she always give me whenever I offered her food was there again, but also something else. Relief, maybe? I kissed her other cheek, too, before looking into her eyes.

"I'm not going to hurt you, Blue. I know that someone hurt you so badly that you think everyone is going to treat you the same. I know the feeling, I do, but not everyone is like him." Her hot, salty tears wet my fingers, but I didn't let her shy away. I needed her to understand. "I saved you because I didn't want someone to hurt you again, not because I want to be your new dominant."

"Then what do you want?" Her voice was so small that I doubted that she even wanted me to hear her words.

"I want you to be well. I want to keep you safe. I don't want you to be afraid of me. I want to take care of you."

"Why?"

I didn't have a good answer to that question. I've been wondering that a lot myself.

"Well point made, Blue. I don't know why, but I couldn't leave you alone in the streets. I think your eyes are to blame." She smiled, and her eyes twinkle at my words. It was a gorgeous sight to see, and I didn't even try to hold back my smile. She hesitantly put her head to my chest again, and I let her. The dark didn't consume me when her little hands wrapped around me. I hugged her back and listened as her harsh breathing turned back to normal. I stroked her back, her hair… trying my best to be gentle. I really didn't know quite how gentle to be. I'd never had to be gentle before, really.

"Anastasia." Her voice was strong this time, as she raised her head and looked into my eyes.

"What?" I asked, quite stunned by the mere sound of her voice.

"My name. Anastasia." She gave a soft giggle at my expression, and if it were anyone else, I'd be furious with them laughing at me, but with her, I didn't. I was happy to learn her name. She wasn't "the girl" anymore, she was Anastasia. Beautiful name for a beautiful girl, I thought. My fingers went to her face involuntarily and stroked her cheek without my permission.

"Nice to meet you, Anastasia." She looked at me in awe, and I liked it. I'd rather see her awe over her fear any time.

"Nice to meet you, too, Christian." It was the first time she used my name, and I couldn't be more pleased.

There are moments in life that you want to capture, but not like photos. You want to capture them the way they are, having both the view, the smell, the touch... The first time I got that feeling was the day my new mother, Grace, handed me the little crying creature who stopped crying at the moment I cradled her… my sister, Mia. The second one was the first time my dad admitted that he was wrong about me dropping out of Harvard.

The third one was that.

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 **I'm really surprised to see that I have 89 followers! So, thank you all!**

 **However, it'd be great to hear your opinions, too, so please review! I was thinking about writing the next chapter from Anastasia's point of view. What do you think?**

 **P.S I want to thank kenziestar and FannieForever15 for beta-reading.**

 **-Alina**


	4. Chapter 4: Heaven

**Hi everybody!**

 **I'm so sorry it took me this long to update but I was drowning in assignments and midterms.**

 **Thank you all for your support.**

 **I answer the reviews but there is one guest review I want to answer from here since I can't answer a guest privately. To the guest who wanted to vomit reading my story, I'm sorry you think that I can't write Christian properly. I'm doing my best not to overrun the characteristic picture E.L James draw in the books but I'll try harder. But I think you're wrong about Anastasia. You don't even know what kind of past I gave to her in this story and you make assumptions quickly. I'm sorry but if you want an Anastasia with the exact same past and same behaviour in the books, you're on the wrong website. It is completely natural for characters to have different pasts and different attitudes in fanfictions. If you are suggesting that I should write Anastasia as on OC just because of that, most of the fanfictions here are completely original stories then. Besides, there is a warning in the beginning of the first chapter about sexual assault, if it's bothering you so much, you shouldn't have read it. Again, I'm sorry because of the mistakes I made about Christian's personality and will try to fix them. Thank a lot for your "kind" review.**

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 **Chapter 4: Heaven**

I could see sun rays dancing from behind my closed eyes. I threw my arm over my eyes to avoid the sun, but it was a failed attempt. I was already awake. For the first time in a long time, I wasn't hungry at all. I remembered the delicious creamy tomato soup Christian bought me. I sat up in the big, fluffy bed. It was so soft and comfortable that I didn't want to get up.

Thinking about him as Christian felt odd because the Master would punish me if I dared to call him by his name, but Christian told me he is not my Master. A frown found its way to my face. It didn't make any sense. Why would a man like himself protect me just because it's the only thing they want? I was still waiting for him to make me sign a contract and then fuck me senseless. I felt a bout of shame at that thought. He had been so kind and understanding over the past two days, and I was thinking bad thoughts about him. I needed a punishment.

As I carefully swung my legs off the side of the bed and got up, I found that my chest didn't hurt anymore, but the area between my legs was still sore. I hated that I still had to think about that… My breath quickened by the memories that threatened to consume my mind. I could almost feel his hands on my throat, his fingers tightly wrapping around my slender neck, and his manhood forcing itself into me. I could still smell his peppermint perfume and hear him telling me how much of a bad girl I had been. Just like I'm being now.

 _Who do you think you are? You belong to me, little whore!_

I shook my head, inhaling deeply and carefully. I'm safe, I tell myself over and over again. I'm not there anymore. I'm with Christian now. He is going to protect me. I have to find him.

It was then that a lovely aroma filled my nostrils. Bacon, I think. I walked to the kitchen and found a kind looking woman cooking at the expensive stove range. She looked older than me, but not that old. Her neat ponytail was swaying with her movements while she maneuvered around the kitchen. She looked so comfortable with what she was doing.

Out of nowhere, I felt a burning in my chest as a fear hit me: was she Christian's wife? Did she know that he brought me to their home? Would she make me go away? Panic started to pulse throughout my body and threatened to make my head explode. I had nowhere else to go. What was I going to do? The woman turn around and saw me for the first time since I'd been standing here. She quickly covered her obvious surprise and offered me a kind, warm smile.

"Hi. You must be Anastasia?" She looked at me expectantly, but I was too afraid to answer, too afraid that I'd say anything wrong. I wanted to stay here. I didn't want Christian's wife to kick me out or give him trouble over my presence here. I simply offered her a nod, trying to keep the fear out of my expression, and she just kept smiling. Well, I guess he told her about me, but was she okay with me living with him?

"I'm Mrs. Jones, Mr. Grey's housekeeper. He told me that you'd be staying here for a while." Oh, not wife then. Relief washed over me, and I took small steps to reach kitchen. I could help her with the housework. I had no money, and there was no way of me paying him back, so I could work for him, like Mrs. Jones here. Feeling out of place, I wandered around the kitchen a bit, looking around at all of the expensive looking gadgets and appliances.

"Do you like bacon and eggs?" Mrs. Jones' motherly voice made me jump a tiny bit. I wasn't expecting her to address me again, I guess. I looked at her questioningly. Was she making the food for me? "I can make something else if you don't, dear. Mr. Grey gave me specific instructions to make sure you eat at least three times a day."

I didn't know what to say. Why was he giving me food? I didn't do anything to deserve it. It'd be wrong to say this to this kind staff member, though, wouldn't it?

"That's fine, thank you." My voice was quiet and uncertain, but I'm sure she heard it, given that she offered me a caring glance before turning back to the pan. I silently sat down on one of the chairs we had sat in last night, though I didn't know if it was okay or not. That made me nervous. I'm so used to being told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it. I wish he told me where to sit, like he had told me where to sleep. Interrupting me from my thoughts, Mrs. Jones walked over to me and placed the plate on the place mat in front of me.

"Something to drink with your breakfast, dear?"

"Uh," I stuttered. "I can get myself some water."

She smiled politely at me before grabbing a bottle of chilled water from the fridge and setting it beside my plate before I could even get up. She took a seat across me with a mug of coffee. I felt uncomfortable having her in close proximity while eating, but I didn't have the heart or the guts to tell her when she was kind to me like Christian was. Besides, it isn't my place to tell others what to do, even if it's making me uncomfortable. I didn't understand why they were so kind and couldn't help but wait for a blow to come. This was too good to be true, wasn't it?

Was he going to sell me? I didn't think he needed more money because his house looked very expensive, and he had people who worked for him. He wasn't poor by any means, that was obvious, but I also knew that people didn't have to need money to still want it. I swallowed by bite of food hard. I wasn't used to this kind of food. Master never gave me food like that. I could only eat what he had left on his plate as scraps after he finished his meal, and only then if I deserved it. I was always too bad to deserve it.

"How old are you, Anastasia?" I was still hesitant to answer her, scared to talk. I thought for sure that he was going to hear me and come to punish me for speaking without his permission. It felt like he wasn't that far away, and I knew he was going to come and get me. I didn't want to talk to her, but her brown eyes were so kind, I couldn't help answering.

"22."

"You're so young." She chuckled. "Did you go to college?" I felt the familiar pinch in my chest. I painfully remembered my first year. The first day I walked through the huge campus. Getting lost around the buildings. I remembered how I was late to every class in first week because I couldn't find the right building. My eyes welled with salty tears before I could stop them, so I quickly lowered my gaze to the table, hoping that he wouldn't find out about my crying and punish me for it.

"Anastasia? I'm so sorry, dear. I didn't mean to upset you." I didn't look up at her, my hands knotted together in my lap. My breath hitched when her gentle finger raised my chin slightly to look me in the eyes.

He isn't here. He's not here. You can cry.

She frowned for a few seconds before acting. She stood up to grab me some tissues, handing them to me with a sorrowful expression. I could tell she pitied me, but why? Hesitantly, she reached out to rub my shoulder a few times.

"I'm sorry," I muttered. To say that I was embarrassed would be an understatement. This woman was kindly trying to carry on conversation with me, and I couldn't hold myself together long enough. I was such a bad girl. A stupid, bad girl.

"It's okay, Anastasia. I'm sorry… I wasn't trying to upset you," she assured before taking her seat again. This time, she let me eat in quiet, sipping at her coffee. I swear I saw her glance over at me a few times though, but I didn't dare make eye contact with her. After a few minutes, I decided to try this conversation thing again.

"I only lasted for a year. Only took a year's worth of classes," I admitted quietly. The memories were painful, like many of the memories I had about my life. I couldn't really tell what was real anymore. Everything kind of just… melted together like a void, dark hole in my mind. She grinned again, but I could feel her hesitance this time. _I know, lady, it's hard to be around me._

"What was your major?"

"English Lit."

"So you love reading?" I was grateful that she didn't ask why I left. Reading used to be my only joy. I remembered the long hours I spent under the sheets with a lantern and an old book because Ray didn't let me stay up late. Ray… I oddly wondered. What was he doing right now? I quickly forced myself not to think about him. Remembering that I didn't answer Mrs. Jones' question yet, I nodded at her, and out of nowhere, she was nearly bursting with excitement.

"Oh! Did Mr. Grey show you the library?" I shook my head, my eyes widening. I didn't see most of the house, actually. Besides, I didn't know if I was allowed. She stood up and offered me her hand."Come on. He already told me to show you around, so I don't think he'd object. He wanted me to help you pass time, so this perfect. If you love reading, you are going to love the library." She lead me upstairs and down a hall. I stopped abruptly when she was about to open the door, suddenly finding my voice again.

"Are you sure that I'm allowed?" She gave me a "do you think I'd bring you here if you weren't" look and turned the knob, allowing me to step by her and into the huge room.

I was awestruck. All the walls were full of books, ceiling to floor. Old, new, thin, thick, hardcover and paperback… I couldn't help the smile that blossomed on my face. I touched their backbones with a longing. I couldn't remember the last time I had the privilege to look at a book, open a book, much less read one. I could only remember the bestseller that Jose urged me to get from the bookstore years ago. I didn't even remember its name, but it was nearly two years ago. This room was absolute heaven. There was a desk and chair, a working nook, I suppose, and a big blue couch with a plush, warm looking white blanket draped over the back of it and matching pillows on either side. I whirled around to look back at Mrs. Jones, having forgotten that she was here with me.

With a soft chuckle, she grasps her hands together in delight. "I take it that you like it?"

I quickly nodded. This library was simply incredible, like one I used to dream about. I used to say that there was going to be a library in my house when I got married, so this room was a dream come true.

"You can read all the books your heart desires, dear. Mr. Grey lets me borrow books without asking him any time. With the exception of the books over there." She pointed a small section of thick covered books beside the desk. "They're for work, and he gets mad if someone changes the order and he can't find what he's looking for." I nodded again. Merely one book was enough. As long as I was allowed to stay here, I'd be in heaven.

"I'll leave you here, then. There is a bathroom here, so you don't have to come downstairs if you're in need. Just call for me if you need anything. Anything at all, dear. I'll let you know when I have lunch ready." I couldn't help the wide smile spreading over my face. I was excited. I can't remember the last time I was so excited for something. Mrs. Jones returned my smile before showing herself out, leaving the door open a crack when she left.

I slowly paced around the room, trying to read every title I could see, but there were so many books over my height that I couldn't quite reach. The variety was surprisingly wide. I've never seen so many genres, even in a bookstore. I was heading to a new section when I heard a knock on the door. I didn't know how much time had passed since I'd been perusing around. For all I know, hours could have passed by now. I stopped, and Mrs. Jones leaned into the room. She greeted me kindly. There was a bottle of water in her hand, which she set on the desk for me.

"Do you want tea or coffee or anything else?" I quickly shook my head. I don't drink coffee, and a weak cup of tea sounded lovely, but the women was doing enough for me already. I didn't want to be too demanding. Besides, as selfish as it sounded, I wanted to be alone with the books.

After she had left, I assigned myself the task of deciding on a book to start with. I couldn't choose what to read, though. There were so many possibilities, so many books... I wondered if Christian read every book here, but it sounded stupid because there were some really thick ones on the off-limits shelf, and I didn't think he'd possibly had enough time to read them all. Because of my inability to make quick decisions, I spent another twenty or so minutes just wandering around the library. Whenever I made a decision to read one, another book caught my eye that looked appealing. Again, I didn't realize how much time I spent looking around until I was called downstairs for lunch. I wasn't hungry, and I told her as much, but she said that Mr. Grey's instructions were strict, and it was for my proper nutrition, so I had no chance but to eat.

As soon as I was full, though I didn't make it through my whole plate, I returned back to my new favorite room in the house. Though I had now taken a liking to Mrs. Jones, and her meals were really delicious, I just couldn't wait to return to my newly discovered heaven.

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 **I want to thank FannieForever15 for fixing my mistakes. She's the best!**

 **Please review!**

 **-Alina**


	5. Chapter 5: Caring

**Chapter 5: Caring**

Working had always been a passion for me. I know what I want and always get it. Business is a huge board game for me, but unlike the real board games, your fate isn't tied to the die you throw, it is tied to the decisions you make. Coincidentally, I found out that I was pretty good at making decisions. I was focused. Until that girl came along out of nowhere.

 _Anastasia._

Her name flowed like a river through my mind, it was such a beautiful name. Definitely better than "Blue," but I still couldn't help but think of her eyes. They were full of pain and fear, but I've never seen such a beauty before. It frightened me. It wasn't healthy to think so much about her because I had an empire to run, and losing my focus was not a luxury I had. I shook my head again, for the hundredth time today, in order to gain my focus again. Like she could hear my thoughts, my phone rang, Elena's name on the screen. I already ignored her yesterday, so I knew that I had no choice but to answer her today.

"Grey." My voice gave nothing away. I didn't let her hear my lack of control at that moment because I knew what would she suggest, and I didn't want that. Not with the blue eyed beauty waiting for me at home.

"Christian? How are you?" Her tone was gentle, but I knew her better than that. I knew that she was about to interrogate me.

"I'm fine, Elena. Working. How about you?"

"The same. Lena told me that you didn't see someone over the weekend. What's wrong? I thought we were on the same page about this."

"We were. But I didn't feel like it."

"Didn't feel like it?" I could hear the surprise in her voice, and I couldn't help but smirking. It wasn't normal for me to not feel like having sex, and she knew that well.

"There's a girl."

"Ah!" She chuckled. "I should've guessed. I take it you just met her?"

"Yes, actually. At Lena's place." She was quiet for a second.

"Christian, these girls are trouble," she said, disapproval evident in her words. "They are there because they are still in training. They don't know how to behave, and they aren't worth the trouble. We should find you a professional." I inhaled deeply. That was the reason I was avoiding Elena in the first place. It was hard to explain why I was so determined to keep Anastasia safe without having any sexual desire. Hell, I couldn't even explain it to myself.

"She doesn't work there. I met her when the guards were kicking her out. Lena said that they found her at the front door, pretty badly injured. Her dominant left her there."

"Wait, what? You can't just take a submissive like that. What if her contract isn't up yet? What will you do about her dominant?"

"She was going to end up in streets if it wasn't for me."

"Oh, I understand. Who are you, Christian? A knight in shining armor? This girl is trouble."

"Yes, I am!" I shouted. "And she is the damsel in distress. I don't give a fuck about what you think of her, and it's not your place to tell me what to do. I want her, and I'm going to keep her. End of discussion." I heard her deep breaths over the phone.

"Okay, you're right. I just don't want you to make mistakes. Are you sure that her being there when you arrived was a coincidence?"

"Yeah." I didn't let myself to doubt Anastasia. There was no way that she knew I was going to be there. "You didn't see her condition. There is no way that she's a gold digger or something."

She sighed. "If you think that it's safe, then okay. Just be careful. Can I meet her?" I hesitated. She was doing well with me so far, but I didn't think it was wise to burden her with my social life. I wanted her to relax, and Elena would only end up unsettling her.

"I don't think so, Elena. She is very delicate right now, and I don't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Besides, it's not like what you think. There is nothing sexual between us. I'm taking care of her, protecting her. That's it."

"Okay, Christian. See you later, then."

"Bye." I threw the phone to my desk. She was right. What the fuck I was thinking? She may not be after my money, but how did I know that she wasn't a robber? Or a murderer? Maybe someone set me up for this. I ran my hands through my hair. Only way to know was a background check, but it already took me two days just to learn her name. Her surname was going to be even more difficult. Suddenly, I wanted to hear her voice. It might be the only thing that would save me from my paranoid thoughts.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Grey." Gail's greeting was warm as usual but a little surprised. Of course she would be surprised. Why would I call home in the middle of the day?

"Hi, Gail. How is Anastasia doing?"

"She is just fine, sir."

"Good. Did she eat?"

"Yes, sir. I made her eat breakfast and lunch already. Even though she didn't want to leave the library." She chuckled and I raised my eyebrows.

"Did she love the library?"

"More than love, Mr. Grey. She told me that she took English Literature classes in college, so that's when I showed her the books. She's spent hours in there today." A slight anger suddenly filled my body. She didn't bother to tell me her name, but she told Gail her life story as soon as I was out of the door? I felt the urge to punch something.

"Did she tell you that?"

"Yes, sir. I kind of pressed a little bit. She was about to cry." Her voice was full of guilt, I felt the anger slowly leave my body.

"Don't push her to talk about her life, Gail." I scolded her. "I want her to feel as comfortable as possible."

"Yes, sir. I understand." I inhaled deeply.

"Can I talk to her?"

"Of course, sir. Just one moment." I heard a slight knock and Gail's call to her. Then a hushed, velvety voice greeted me.

"H-hello?" I didn't knew such a small word to have this kind of effect on me. My shoulders relaxed and I felt the tension leave my body instantly.

"Hello, Anastasia. How are you today?"

"Fine." Her voice was hesitant and scared. I didn't know why, but I wanted her to feel safe. She didn't want to talk, though, that much I could hear in her voice, but I needed her.

"Gail told me you love the library."

"Y-yes. Is it okay for me to be in here?" I wanted to kick myself. I needed to choose my words more carefully. Her mental health was more delicate than her physical health was at the moment.

"Of course. Actually you should ask Gail to give you a tour. I want you to be comfortable." Silence. "So, what are you reading?"

"Nothing, actually." I raised my eyebrows. Gail said that she spent hours in there. If she hadn't read anything, what was she doing in the library? "There are a lot of books. I couldn't choose. Yet." I chuckled. I knew that the library was quite expansive, but I wasn't expecting her to lose herself like this. She must really have a passion for books.

"I understand." I needed to end the call soon since she was obviously becoming very uneasy, but I enjoyed the sound of her voice and wanted to hear it as much as possible.

"May I ask how you are?" Her voice was so low, I had to pay close attention to understand her words.

"I'm fine, Anastasia. Thank you."

"You sound stressed." I chuckled once again. How could she read my mind even over the phone? She didn't even know me.

"Maybe a little bit. There are some issues I couldn't fix at work, and they're bothering me, I guess." At work? I couldn't come up with a better lie, but she didn't need to know that I couldn't drag myself away from thinking about her for long enough to work at all.

"I know nothing about business, but I'm sure you'll figure it out." She sounded like she wanted to say more but was holding back. As much as I want her to talk, the conversation came to an end. I had an empire to run.

"You're right, Anastasia. I'll let you go and explore the library some more. Have a good day."

"You too, Christian. Bye."

"Bye." I ended the call with a peaceful feeling I couldn't exactly put my finger on. I felt relieved, and all of my doubts vanished about her.

I found Gail making the final touches on dinner when I came home. She politely smiled and greeted me as usual.

"Good evening, Mr. Grey. Dinner will be ready in a few minutes." I looked around to find Anastasia, but she wasn't here. I assumed she was still in the library.

"No need to rush, Gail. Take your time." She nodded, offering me one of trademark warm smiles and turning back to mind her own business. I liked that about both Gail and Taylor. They didn't seek out answers or try to cross boundaries. They knew their place and were grateful for where they were. I changed into a pair of black sweatpants and a white tee shirt before heading upstairs. I was going to knock before entering the library but my curiosity about what she was doing was more powerful than my manners, apparently.

I silently opened the door, and there she was. Her thin body was curled up on the blue couch, a white blanket over her shoulders and a book in her hands. She was asleep. Her brown curls created a very satisfying contrast with the white blanket which they fell upon. Her shoulders rose and fell gently with her deep, even breathing. She looked serene and incredibly beautiful. My feet didn't need a command to walk to her just as my hands didn't as they brushed her hair away from her face. I gently touched the cut on her head and her cheek. Her skin was so pale and smooth, I wanted to touch her more. As if on cue, she leaned into my touch. I carefully cupped her cheek.

"Anastasia?" I whispered. I didn't want her to wake up because I knew that I couldn't touch her like this when she woke up. However, she needed to eat, and a couch wasn't the best place to rest. A lazy smile lifted the corners of her lips. It was beautiful. She smiled at me before, but her previous grins were nothing like this one. This one wasn't hesitant. This wasn't forced or meant to be a polite response. This was a genuine smile.

"You need to wake up." I couldn't keep my hands to myself. Besides, I wondered what her reaction would be to my touch.

"Don't want to," she mumbled and leaned into my hand more. "Please, Ray. I want to read." Ray? Anger came over me again. Was she leaning into my touch like that because she thought I was her dominant? I abruptly pulled my hand away in anger, and the motion made her head sway, waking her up. She sat up suddenly and looked around with sleepy blue eyes. When her eyes caught mine, her face quickly filled with fear, and I instantly regret my actions. Waking her up like that wasn't the best idea. I scared her.

"It's dinner time," I tell her, trying to ignore my illogical possessiveness towards her. I wasn't her dominant, and I had no claim over her. Then why I was angry about her words? "You fell asleep."

"I'm sorry. I didn't intend to sleep here. I was just reading and got carried away." She stood up and neatly folded the white blanket, her hands shaking a little. Her gaze was on the floor, and her body language told me how nervous she was. My stupid way of waking her probably made her feel like I was mad at her. Well, I was mad at her, but not for falling asleep in the library.

"It's okay. What did you decide on?" She hesitantly raised the book so that I could see its name. Wuthering Heights. Classic. I guess it shouldn't surprise me, girls really loved this romantic shit.

"I take it you like classics?" I tried to ease the mood a little bit, but she really wasn't working with me. She nodded, eyes still on the floor. I usually liked that in my submissives, but for some reason, it didn't felt right with Anastasia. I wanted to see her eyes.

"I didn't read any of them, but maybe I should, huh? There must be a reason why people think they are valuable." She finally raised her eyes and smiled politely. The fear was still there, though. I should start her sessions with Flynn as soon as possible, but I wasn't sure that she was going to talk to him. I tried to soften my expression while gesturing toward the door. "Shall we?" She quickly nodded and waited for me to lead the way.

"Ladies first." She seemed surprised but didn't hesitate walking in front of me downstairs. The table was ready. I thanked Gail and sat down, but Anastasia remained standing up. I looked at her questioningly, and she bit her bottom lip before taking a deep breath.

"Can you tell me what should I do?"

"Tell you what to do? What do you mean?"

"Like where to sit, where to eat… things like that. I don't want to do something to make you mad." I looked at her in her uncomfortable state. What the fuck she had been through? Yes, I expected my submissives to do what I said, but telling someone where to sit? Like she was some kind of dog? The idea was disgusting, and the fact that she was used to be treated like that made me want to vomit. Of course, it explained her hesitance about everything. I vaguely remembered how she slept on the floor on her first night here until I told her to use the bed. That bastard made her sleep on the floor.

Realization hit me like a punch in the gut. I tried to calm myself by taking deep breaths and counting to 10. My anger wasn't towards her, but it was still hard to hide. I wanted to call Claude and kick the shit out of him right now, but at the same time, I wanted to take Anastasia into my arms and hide her from rest of the world. I closed my eyes and reminded myself over and over again that it wasn't her fault. I stood up and held her face between my hands, forcing her to look into my eyes.

"Blue. I don't know what that son of a bitch has done to you, but you didn't deserve any of it. You're not a dog, you are a person." Her eyes filled with tears and for some reason, I wanted to stop them badly. I wiped the tears away with my thumbs.

"I wasn't." Her voice cracked.

"You weren't what?"

"A person." She closed her eyes briefly. There was a lot of pain there when she opened them again. She swallowed hard. It was like I could hear the battle in her head. She was debating whether to tell me or not. Her eyes searched mine. "I couldn't talk to him like a person."

"How did he want you to talk with him?" I tried my best not to let fury take over my words.

"He said that I didn't deserve to talk, but he was kind enough." Kind enough? I was going to show him kind enough when I found him. He practically made her act as if she was a slave or something. I closed my eyes, breathing deeply.

"You are a person, Anastasia. It was him who should be treated like a dog. Hell, that would even be an insult to dogs. He should be treated like an insect." I wiped her tears once again, but they kept falling. "I'm not going to treat you like that. Ever. Who am I to tell you where to sit? You're going to live here for a while, and you can do whatever the hell you want. Do you understand me?" She nodded, but I could see that she wasn't convinced.

"You can do whatever you want in the kitchen. Gail cooks the meals, but if you don't want to eat what she prepared, you can order something outside. You can cook something else if you can. You can open the fridge and get whatever you want. If there is something else you'd like, you can tell Gail or I, and we'll make sure to keep it in the fridge. You can sit wherever you want. You can sleep wherever you want. You can use everything in this house, Anastasia." After all the talk about the kitchen, I needed to know the reason behind her hesitance about food. "Did he feed you, Anastasia?"

"When I deserved." Her response came like pure truth from her mouth. Like she was saying two plus two equals four. "I don't understand why you feed me, Christian. I didn't do anything to please you." The urge to vomit became so strong, I could feel the bile rising, but I swallowed it down. I knew she was starved. I thought I understood. I thought she was like me. She was worse than me. At least the crack whore made sure I ate something when she could. She didn't tell me I had to please her in order to have food. She didn't blame whether or not I ate on me. Anastasia lived God knows how long with that bastard. She felt like it was her fault.

It made sense. All her behavior made sense. Her wary expression, her fear, her sadness… She was far stronger than I was, though. I had the Gray family. She had no one but a man who kept getting angry with her. Acting on impulse, I pulled her into my chest. She didn't hug me back, but I could feel some of the tension leave her body.

"I don't need a reason to feed you, Anastasia. Food is the most basic human need. You don't need to do anything to please me. I know it's hard to believe. I know how you feel. You feel like you're going to do something, and I'll send you back to him. You feel like I'm going to stop feeding you and don't want to get used to feeling because it's going to make it harder when I stop." Her eyes shot straight to mine. Her shocked expression told me that I was on the right track.

"I know the feeling." I gently brushed her hair behind her ear and cupped her cheek. She was awake this time.

"How?" Her voice was full of curiosity, and I knew that I had no other choice but to tell her my story. She wasn't going to believe me when I say it's going to get better otherwise. I took a deep breath and led her to the couch. Much to her surprise, I pulled her down into my lap. I needed something to keep me in the present time. Something to hold onto. I wrapped my arms around her in a hug.

"The woman who gave birth to me was a crack whore. She was addicted and made money to buy it by selling herself." She gasped, and her hand covered her mouth. Of course she wasn't expecting a story like that behind all this glory life. "She overdosed, and I was alone with her body for four days until one of her pimps discovered the body and called the police. There was no food, and I can't say she appropriately fed me when she was alive. I was starved just like you. When Greys adopted me, I was just like you." I held her tighter, forcing myself to stay in the moment.

"I was scared that they were going to see how worthless I was and send me away. I was scared that I was going to do something, and they would stop feeding me. I was scared, Blue. I know how you feel. But it's going to get better. You're going to see that I'm not going to send you away." Searching my eyes, her hand came to my cheek, and she caressed my stubble. Irony was lost on me. I was telling her this to soothe her, and yet she was soothing me right now. I didn't see pity in her blue eyes like I expected. They were bright with unshed tears, but there was something else I couldn't name.

"You didn't tell me why they didn't send you away."

"Because I don't know." An understanding smile spread her face while she ducked her head into my neck and breathed deeply.

"I understand. You still feel unworthy. But I'm sure they were proud of you." I was stunned. I wasn't entirely wrong in my thoughts when I first saw her. She really saw right through my soul.

"I don't think so." My voice was as small as hers. I knew they weren't. They were proud of Elliot. He was an ideal son. He always called them, he always told them how much he loved them. He was kind. They were proud of Mia. She was talented in everything. She was affectionate. She always let them know how grateful she was to be a Grey. They weren't proud of me. Why would they be? I was a spoiled brat. I never called Grace even though she called me every week. I never valued Carrick's ideas. I didn't even let them show me their love. I pushed them away. How could they be proud of me? Slender hands touched my closed eyelids and my eyebrows. She gently brushed my cheek.

"Christian." I opened my eyes and look at her. "Why do you help me? You don't even know me. How do you know I'm worth everything you do?"

"You are worth it." I pulled her closer to me. Of course she was worth it. She didn't deserve to be treated like that. She deserved more than anything I could give her.

"But how do you know?"

"I just know." A smug smile spread her face. It was cute.

"Exactly. Your parents don't even need a reason to know that you're worth it. Even though they didn't know you at all, they would know that you're worthy." I quickly thought about the things I had said. She was using my own words against me now, albeit not in a negative way. How could she know what was I thinking without me telling her? How could she know that I was looking for a reason? I couldn't help but smile at her. I knew she wasn't entirely right, but she had a point. I didn't know her. But I knew she was more than worthy.

She snuggled into me and hugged me. It felt really nice to know that she trusted me more. I knew that in that moment, I would do anything to keep her safe. The urge to keep her away from the rest of the world was stronger than before. However, the world had different ideas. I needed to raise my chin that was resting in the top of her head when I heard Taylor's call.

"Sir." I turned and look at him while Anastasia's eyes wandered between him and me. She hid her head again my neck, probably scared of Taylor. "Mrs. Grey is on her way up."

I sighed. Was she waiting for me to tell Anastasia about her? I knew that once she saw her, she was going to think that she was my girlfriend who was living with me. But I didn't want to hide Anastasia. I even thought that she needed to socialize, that it would be good for her. Maybe she could be friends with Grace and Mia. That might help her. I nodded at Taylor before meeting her curious eyes.

"It's my mom. She probably going to assume that you're my girlfriend who's living with me. Is it okay with you?" A lovely blush colored her pale cheeks.

"Don't you have a girlfriend?"

"No. My mother thinks I'm gay, I think." She giggled before sitting up in my lap but then her eyes widen.

"Are you?" I chuckled at her forwardness and caressed her pink cheeks.

"No, Anastasia. I'm not."

"Christian! You promised that you're going to-" Grace's scolding stopped abruptly when she noticed the petite girl in my lap. Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open. I shook my head at her reaction and moved Anastasia from my lap. I went and hugged my mother with one arm. She was so surprised that she didn't even hug me back.

"I-I didn't know you had company." She looked at Anastasia whose face was completely red. I wanted to laugh at both women. I smiled.

"This is Anastasia, Mom. Anastasia, my mom. Grace." She finally held her hand out. Anastasia took her hand with her usual hesitance.

"I'm so pleased to meet you, Anastasia."

"As am I, Mrs. Grey."

"We were about to have dinner, Mom. Are you hungry?" She nodded with an almost childish enthusiasm. I rolled my eyes but didn't comment while they took their seats at the kitchen table. Gail greeted her, served her food with respect, and left.

It was as if my mom wasn't hungry at all because all she did was beam at Anastasia who was trying to eat her steak with the sweetest blush I've ever seen.

"So, Anastasia. How old are you?" I couldn't help but getting nervous. I knew that she wasn't going to say anything bad about me, but we were still unprepared for a full-on Grace Grey interrogation.

"22, Mrs. Grey." I was grateful that she wasn't talking to my mother with her usual scared, small voice.

"Please, call me Grace. Are you a student?"

"I couldn't finish school for personal reasons, but I studied the first year in English Literature." I was pretty surprised at the way she was answering Grace. She looked confident even though I knew she was far from that. I guess she was trying to look normal for her as much as possible. It didn't matter at all though. I knew that my mom would love her even if she had a third eye. She was waiting for me to bring a girl home for so long, she would welcome anyone else.

"Ah! A bookworm." She smiled politely.

"Where did you two meet?" Anastasia looked at me with terrified eyes. I didn't know what to say to my mother, but I didn't want to lie entirely.

"It's a long story, Mom. We'll tell you some other time." She quickly nodded. My mom had always been respectful toward personal boundaries. It was a quiet dinner until my mother noticed the cut in Anastasia's head. I heard her gasp, but it was so small, I was sure Anastasia didn't. I quickly leaned into her.

"Don't ask her, mom. I'm going to tell you everything. Not now." She nodded again but she kept looking at the bruises on her neck. I knew that I needed to tell her as soon as possible because she was going to want to examine her.

Anastasia smiled at my mother before standing up.

"It was nice to meet you, Grace. I need to rest, if that's okay."

"Of course, dear." She quickly stood up and hugged her, surprising both me and Anastasia. She blushed again and turned around to go into her room. The moment she was out of our sight, my mom turned to me with a furious expression on her face.

"What happened to her, Christian?" I sighed.

"I found her in the streets. I was going somewhere and noticed her. She was beaten up really badly and raped." She gasped.

"Did you go to police?" I shook my head.

"She won't even tell me her surname, Mom. She didn't talk to me for the first two days. She barely speaks right now even."

"Did a doctor see her?"

"Of course. It was the first thing I did when I brought her here. Two of her ribs are broken. The cut in her head was old, so the doctor said that he can't stitch it."

"My poor girl." Her hand played with her pearl necklace. Her eyes were full of tears. "She looks so small." I nodded.

"She was starved. Now I'm making sure she eats at least three times a day."

"Christian, you're not taking the advantage of her, are you?"

"Of course not!" I growled. How could she think that I could do something like that?

"I'm sorry." Her hand caressed my cheek. "I saw her in your lap, and at first I thought she was your girlfriend. I'm sorry. I'm just worried. Rape is one of the most serious traumas a person can face. "

"I know, mom. I was just trying to make her feel safe." She smiled at me.

"I'm proud of what you did, Christian. Not everyone would stop and take her to their home. You made the right choice. Keep her safe." I was relieved. I was worried about my mom would think like Elena and tell me to get rid of her. She looked into my eyes for a tender moment and smiled again.

"Can I tell Elliot that I've met your girlfriend?" I was surprised by her question.

"Why?"

"She lives with you, doesn't she?"

"Yes?"

"So, she needs to meet the family at some point. I don't think she'll be comfortable with people she doesn't know learning her story. Isn't it best to act like she is your girlfriend?" As always, she was right.

"Okay, mom. You're right. But please don't tell dad."

"I don't keep secrets from my husband, Christian." Her eyebrows shot up.

"I know, but you know him. He's going to make her feel bad with his questions. He's going to think that I should let her go."

"Will you?"

"No. Never." My response was so sharp Grace raised her eyebrows. The corners of mouth raised slightly.

"Okay, Christian. We're going to keep this between the three of us until she feels comfortable."

"Thanks, Mom." There was a glow in her eyes which I didn't understand, but she said that she needs to turn back home. She hugged me and said goodbye. I thought about all the things I've been through. I wouldn't have made it if she wasn't there for me.

"Mom!" I called when she was about to get into the elevator. "I love you." Her smile was so bright, I immediately felt guilty for not telling her this often enough.

"I love you, too, Christian. Take care of your little girl." And she left.

I liked that. My little girl…

* * *

 **This is the longest chapter of the story so far! 5000 words are usually too much for me but the sentences flew this time.**

 **I'm really happy for the increasing follow and favorite numbers but reviews are a few. Please let me know what do you think, the good and the bad.**

 **Shoutout to FannieForever15 for keeping up with my stupid mistakes.**

 **-Alina**


	6. Chapter 6: Beautiful Stranger

**Chapter 6: Beautiful Stranger**

I've never been good with words. I don't know if that was a simple result of not speaking for years or what, but I wasn't able to play with them even after I started to speak. I was "too straight forward," as Mia said. Truth be told, I didn't understand the point of running in circles when you could simply go and get to where you want to be, but I'd love to understand because apparently, words had an amazing effect on Anastasia.

As I learned from Gail, she spent the past week sitting in the library for hours. I always find her there whenever I got home, mostly curled up on the sofa, reading a different novel every day. I wasn't sure if it was some kind of obsession, but Gail convinced me that probably she spent so much time away from books that she missed them. I couldn't care less, as long as she kept getting better. She started to gain some weight, her cheeks became fuller, and her hair started to shine. Even though she was far from healthy, her progress was slow and steady, which was better than no progress at all. She was getting better mentally, too. It looked like my overly dramatic life story created the effect I wanted; she started to see that I wasn't going to send her away, and she opened up to me more and more every day.

It felt nice, to be the one who made her smile, and to be the one she talked to about the book felt nice because it also showed me that her trust to me was increasing. Her hesitance was still there, but it seemed to me that she was trying to ignore it. She stopped asking me if it was okay to turn the TV on or sit somewhere, but the most significant change was her attitude towards food. As I heard from Gail, they started to discuss meals which was okay with me since there wasn't any food I hated. Anastasia had made small comments about the meals, so Gail asked if it was okay to change some plans according to her. I couldn't be more delighted. However, Anastasia with a red apron on wasn't the sight I expected coming home to Friday.

She was chopping up potatoes, but I was more interested in the way her shoulders swayed to the rhythm of the song playing in the background and how her brown curls swung back and forth with her little dance. It was a beautiful sight. But from experience, I knew that watching her wasn't a good idea because she became really self-conscious when she notices that she's being watched, so I cleared my throat. She spun around, and a sweet blush I've become familiar with colored her cheeks.

"Hi," she mutters while smiling. I smiled right back at her.

"Hi. What are you doing in the kitchen?"

"Cooking?"

"Oh! Really?" She giggled at my sarcastic tone. I loved hearing her giggle. It was such a girlish and innocent sound.

"Gail's sister had an accident, and she needed to stay with her over the weekend. She called you, but your phone was off. I'm making dinner, if that's okay?" I could hear the insecurity take over her voice, but I've learned not to ask her if she's okay. It was best just to pretend it was a normal behavior, so she didn't become more uncomfortable.

"Absolutely." She nodded and turned to continue chopping.

"It'll be ready in half an hour. Meatloaf's already in the oven." It was probably a signal for me to get out of her way so that she could work in peace, but I was having none of that. I still couldn't find a way to get her out of my head, and I intended to use all the time I had with her.

"Thank you." I leaned into the counter and watched her. She no longer danced to the music, and I could see the way her shoulders tensed.

"What happened to Gail's sister?" Small talk was always good to distract someone.

"It was a car accident, but she doesn't know the details." I nodded thoughtfully. I'm sure she'd tell me later.

"What did you read today?"

"Sense and Sensibility."

"Hmm… was that one of the Brontes?"

"No! Austen. Jane Austen." She shook her head in irritation, and I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing. This was her weak spot, which I discovered a few days ago. Little Anastasia was possessive about her books. You want to insult Anastasia? Go ahead, do it. But insulting or misunderstanding one of her books? You're in a deep trouble. I liked teasing her like that. I occasionally drive people mad at work, but that was nothing like teasing Anastasia. It wasn't the same. I loved to see her wild side appear when I said the wrong author's name or told her the characters were stupid. Even though I hadn't read all of them, I mostly knew which classic was written by whom.

But for Anastasia's sake, why not act like a fool?

"I'm sure it was boring."

"You're boring." She blurted out before suddenly dropping her knife to the floor and covering her mouth with both hands. I didn't need to see her face to imagine her expression of horror. She didn't mean to say that aloud, I can tell, but I didn't try to stop myself. I laughed. She turned to me, her hands still over mouth, not able to make eye contact. She thinks she crossed a line. Au contraire, Miss Anastasia.

I took a few steps toward her and held my hand out. "Let's have you some fun, then, Anastasia. Will you dance with me?" She finally rose her head to look into my eyes. My smiled remained, even though the fear in her eyes caused me pain. Her expression relaxed within moments, and confusion took its place.

"Are you serious?"

"Well, when a gentleman asks a lady for her hand, he usually means it." _Gentleman, Grey?_ She blushed a little but put her delicate hand into my much larger one. I pulled her close enough to hold her, but not too close. I was still trying to keep physical contact to a minimum and didn't want to make her feel like she was supposed to let me touch her just because I was helping her. I put her hand on my shoulder and mine to her waist. We slowly swayed together to the music.

 _'Cause time is running, and we can lose  
Baby, come and dance we gonna make it through  
'Cause we've got time  
Yes, we've got time_

 _Beautiful stranger, don't want to know your name  
Beautiful stranger, just want to take your hand  
How sweet it can be if you make me dance?  
How long will it last, baby, if we dance?_

I looked into her deep blues when her blush disappeared and she moved closer to me. This song couldn't be more accurate for our first dance. First dance? I was turning into a teenaged boy. But wasn't she my beautiful stranger? Didn't she make me dance? Unfortunately, our dance ended with the last notes of the guitar. I stepped back and kissed her hand.

"Thanks for the dance, ma'am." She giggled softly and nodded. I left to go take a shower while she finished up dinner. Apparently little things like this do a good job of calming her. I constantly told her that I wasn't going to hurt her, but she wasn't really convinced. Whenever I acted like everything was normal and showed her that she was safe around me, she became more and more comfortable. The irony wasn't lost on me. If someone would've asked me a few weeks ago, I would say that I was the last man on earth to be counted "safe" for a girl like Anastasia, but now I was the only man who was safe for her.

I showered and returned to the kitchen, and as promised, dinner was ready, and the table was set. Anastasia was sitting in her usual place and smiling her small smile. I wondered what made her smile like that. I hoped that it was me since I smiled like a fool in the shower because of our dance. I sat down and tasted the food. It was delicious. But the way that she chewed her bottom lip drew my attention away from the food.

"Anastasia? What's wrong?"

"I was going to ask if I need to take food to Taylor. Do they eat?" I was about to burst out, "Of course they're eating," but my mind quickly reminded me what she's been through, and instead, I bite my tongue before taking a deep breath.

"You don't need to. The security team order their food, or tell Gail to send them some food over. Since she didn't tell you to make more, they're probably going to order something." She visibly relaxed and started to eat. Silence was better with her. One of the reasons why I didn't like eating with women was their need to fill every silent moment. They constantly talked, but that was never the case with Anastasia. We ate quietly until my phone started to ring. I looked at it briefly and saw my mother's name on it. I nodded at my phone and looked at Anastasia.

"Why don't you answer it?"

"Me?" She looked completely surprised. I nodded. My mother had been bugging me all week to bring Anastasia to meet my family. I knew how hard it was for her to keep a secret from my dad. She wanted them to at least meet Anastasia as my "girlfriend." The notion seemed funny. Christian Grey's girlfriend. It sounded stupid, but as I told Grace, it wasn't an option to tell them the truth. The whole "girlfriend" thing made a lot more sense. I didn't bring this up during the week because I didn't know how Anastasia would react.

"Yes. Grace liked you. She'll like to talk to you." She hesitantly picked up the phone and answered it with the same hesitance.

"Um, Mrs. Grey? It's Anastasia." I watched her blush in delight. I've never seen a woman blush like this before. I thought it only happened in books. It was a beautiful sight.

"I'd love to, but are you sure? Yes, but I need to ask Christian, Mrs. Grey… I'm sorry. Grace. Okay, bye." She quickly handed the phone to me.

"Your mother wants us to go to her house for dinner tomorrow."

"Are we going?" She looked at me dumbfounded. She blinked a few times and nodded.

"I'd love to go, but I told her I should talk to you. Should I come?"

"Anastasia, you're probably going to be the highlight of the evening. I think she'd only invite you if she could." I chuckled how Grace it sounded.

"Me?"

"Yeah. I've never brought a girl to meet them."

"Is that why she thinks you're gay?"

"Probably." I grinned at her. "So you want to go? My mom knows the truth, but she promised me that it's going to stay secret." She looked panicked for a moment before dropping her fork to her plate loudly.

"Why didn't you tell me? Did she tell you to send me away?" I watched with confusion in why her eyes filled with tears and fear. I quickly got up and held her face between my hands. I knew that she was going to shut down in a few moments.

"Anastasia. She wouldn't say such a thing. She felt sorry for the things you've been through and was happy that I'm taking care of you. We agreed not to tell the others until you feel comfortable, and that's all."

"Really?"

"Yes. She wants you to meet my siblings and dad so that you can talk to them and make friends. She liked you, Anastasia." Her tears were gone, but fear was still swimming in her blue seas.

"Besides, even though she told me to send you away, I wouldn't."

"She's your mother, Christian. And I'm just-"

"Enough. Lying is not really my thing, Anastasia. I tell the truth. I don't play games. Why would I lie to you, anyway?" She thought for a moment and let the fear go, finally. A small smile was pulling at the corners of her mouth.

"So, are we going, Anastasia?"

"Yes, if that's okay with you?"

"Of course. My schedule is usually clear for weekends. I'll call my mother and let her know." She nodded while I sat back down and continued eating.

"Christian?" I looked up to find her blue eyes searching my face. "Why didn't you bring anyone else to meet your family?" I was about to give her the classical "I wasn't interested in anyone" lie when I remembered that she was in my lifestyle, too.

"I would never bring a submissive to meet my family," I said, as if it was obvious.

"But before that? I mean, didn't you have a girlfriend in school or something?" I let out a deep breath.

"No, my sex life pretty much started with this." She didn't look surprised when she looked down.

"Mine, too." She muttered, but I could hear the sadness in her voice. I was dying to hear her story, but I also didn't want to hear it at the same time. I knew it wasn't pleasant, and I was scared to learn the full extent of the damage in her soul. But I couldn't resist my curiosity.

"How did you decide to become a submissive?" I asked. She looked at me and smiled sadly.

"I didn't." What? I knew that she was raped, but that bastard pursued a girl wanted nothing to do with BDSM lifestyle?

"I don't understand, Anastasia." Her eyes searched my face, but whatever she found there, she found the courage to go on and stood up. She walked to me and took my fisted hand into her little hand.

"Will you hold me, Christian?"

"Anastasia, you don't have to tell me," I said quickly. Flynn made it completely clear that I should never push her to tell me what she's been through. He said that she'll eventually talk to me, but I should wait until she felt ready. "I didn't mean to push you, I'm sorry."

She pulled my hand, and I stood up.

"I know. I need to tell you now. I don't think I'll ever find the courage again. Please, Christian." I couldn't stand her pleading anymore and let her lead me over the couch, but I pulled her to my lap when she attempted to sit beside me. The need that made her want me to hold her was the same one that made me hug her when I was talking about the crack whore. She needed something to hold onto. I understood and let her hug my neck tightly for a few seconds. She took a few deep breaths.

"I met him in the end of my first year," she started. "He was searching for some books in the bookstore I worked in. He was handsome and was really kind to me. He asked for my work hours and kept coming every day the following week before asking me for my number. We started to go out. I fell in love with him. Everything was so perfect. I was studying at my dream university, the boy I loved was always beside me, I had friends… I had everything I wanted." Her voice cracked, and I caressed her back while she cried into my shoulder for a few minutes at the hard memory. I wanted to tell her to stop if it hurt so much, but she said she needed to tell me this, so I tried to give her the strength she needed. She took a few more deep breaths and continued.

"Ray—my dad—he never liked him. He always said that something was wrong with the way he watched me, but I always just teased him, saying that he was just jealous. In the summer, he proposed me. I thought it was early, but I was head over heels. I was stupid. I thought it was going to be like the books I've read. Happily ever after. He convinced me not to tell Ray and elope. His family lived in Seattle, and he said that we were going to marry there, spend the summer in Seattle, and turn at the beginning of the school year. So we flied to Seattle in the middle of the night. He took me to a very big house, like a castle, but it was so far away from the city, I was worried. He said that his family was very rich, and his father demanded me to sign a prenup. I was surprised but signed it anyway without even reading it. I didn't want his money."

Her sobs became hysterical then as she held onto my neck as if her life depended on it. I held her as tightly as I could; she wasn't the only one who needed something to hold on. I was trying my best not to call Claude to smash his face in. I understood where the story was going. It was sick. It was unfair. It broke her, and there wasn't anything I could do. I don't know how many minutes passed until she raised her head from my shoulder and continued.

"It wasn't a prenup Christian." Her voice was so broken and in pain. All the pain I've been through suddenly seemed ridiculously easy. It was nothing. Crack whore was nothing. Her soul was in pieces. She was broken. How was I going to fix her? I kept caressing her back; she was shivering.

"It was a four year contract. It bound me to him in every way possible. He said I wanted that. I didn't want that, Christian!" The way she said my name… I felt a new scar opening in my chest.

"Shh..." I stroked her hair and her neck. "You don't have to tell the rest." She pulled back and looked at me in agony. Her face was reddened and wet with tears, her blue eyes filled with agony. I hugged her again, her head buried in my chest. She curled up in a ball and cried into my chest, so hard that I could tell she was having breathing. This was going to turn into a panic attack quickly.

"Anastasia," I soothed. "Breathe. Breathe with me." We took deep breaths together, and she eventually calmed down. I picked her up and carried her to the bedroom. She whimpered as I laid her down.

"Don't leave me."

"I'm here, Anastasia. I'm not going to leave you," I assured her before getting into bed with her and holding her tight.

"I'm sorry." She was about to drift off, and her little hands clutched at my t-shirt. She was touching my chest, but I didn't have the heart to make her move. In that moment, there was nothing that I wouldn't do for her.

"It wasn't your fault." I kept whispering those words over and over until sleep pulled both of us under.

Morning came sooner than expected. I couldn't sleep much despite all of my efforts. I kept waking every hour until I decided to work out. Escala had its own gym, but I didn't like running into people who knew me from the news or magazines. But that wasn't a problem at five am. The gym was deserted and dark, but I didn't bother to turn the lights on while running on a treadmill. Working out usually helped me relieve my stress, but apparently not this time. I couldn't keep the images out of my head.

I dreamed of a carefree Anastasia, a girl with books piled in her arms, laughing and walking to the class with her friends. Looking for the true love she read in the books and falling for the first man paid attention to her. I dreamed of that bastard, making fun of her with his sick mind. Watching his prey and hunting her without hesitation. I didn't even know what did he do to her exactly, but crushing her innocent dreams was enough. Breaking her kind soul was enough. It was a crime that needed punishment. The hatred I felt toward him was nothing like I've ever felt before. I didn't even feel this kind of violence towards the crack whore's pimp. It was nothing compared to what I was feeling now.

Even two hours of working out didn't help me clear my head, so I eventually just gave up and headed to the shower. I didn't know what to do. I usually play with my submissives in situations like this to release deep-rooted frustration, but the thought of being a dominant to her made me sick right now. I thought Anastasia was a submissive, but her dominant abused the contract. I thought she was into this shit, but not the heavy kind. I thought all he did was harm her physically. The scars on her body seemed so unimportant now. She didn't want to be a submissive. She was a hearts and flowers type. She searched for someone to love forever, someone to spend her life with and ended up a submissive. No, not a submissive. A slave. That son of a bitch made her a slave, a shell of a women. I'd give anything to erase the past night from my head.

I found Anastasia in front of the window when I returned. Her knees were pulled to her chest, and her arms were around them while she rested her head on her knees. Her brown hair was touching the floor. She didn't look at me when I sat down beside her. We silently watched Seattle waking up to a brand new day, side by side. Despite all the troubled thoughts in my head, I was glad that she trusted me enough to tell her story. God knows I wouldn't. I wouldn't trust anyone after all of my dreams became garbage. I knew that it was a big step for her, and I didn't want her to regret it. But I didn't understand how she chose me to tell these things. She knew I was a dominant. She saw me in that house. How could she trust me when she knew I cut from the same cloth as the man that broke her? I forced myself to speak, but it was really hard with the lump in my throat. I took a deep breath.

"What do you want to do today?"

She turned to me with a surprised expression. Her eyebrows shut up. "Aren't you going to send me away?"

"Of course not. I told you that I'm always going to keep you safe."

"How could you not be disgusted with me?" I looked into her blue eyes and tried to see her soul like she always did with me. All I saw was pain. I felt my chest tighten. I didn't know how to help her.

"How could you not be disgusted with me? I'm cut from the same cloth as him." Confusion spread over all of her features before anger took its place.

"What? You're nothing like him! Christian, how could you think that?"

"I'm a dominant, too, Anastasia."

"I know that, but I also saw other dominants there. I heard the girls talking each other. I know that every dominant is not like him. You're not like him."

"You don't know that." My voice was so small, even I could barely hear it. I heard her sigh.

"You're not going to believe me, are you?" Then she chuckled, surprising me. I looked at her in question. "I guess I'm not going to believe that you'll never send me away." Her chuckles turned into a laughter and I soon find myself laughing with her. We were miserable and laughing at ourselves. It was one of the stupidest things I've ever done but I can't say it didn't lift some of the weight on my shoulders. I was afraid that she was going to close up again, but apparently not. I needed to go somewhere else though, somewhere I could relax again.

"Can we go outside today?" I saw her tense and suddenly realized that she hadn't gone outside the past week. I was stupid enough not to tell Gail to take her outside. I was keeping her locked in. "I have a boat." I said quickly. "We can have breakfast and spend some time on the water until we go to dinner with my parents."

"A boat?" she said, surprised. I nodded.

"Okay." I couldn't help but pull her into my lap. I needed to know that she was safe from that bastard. I needed to know that I have nothing common with him. She hugged me tight like last night. But when her little hands started to rub my back, I froze.

"Christian? What's the matter?" One of her hands cupped my cheek, her eyes searching my face. I swallowed, trying to keep the panic in control. I knew that she was going to take it as disgust if I pulled back. I didn't want her to think that, but it was hard. Her little hand felt so alien and painful in the small of my back. She pulled her other hand away and watched me instantly relax. Her blue eyes filled with tears.

 _Well done, Grey. Make her cry, why don't you?_

"No, no." I cupped her cheeks and wiped a teardrop that had just fallen. "It's not about you. I swear. I can't let people touch me on my chest and the middle of my back. I just can't. It's been that way since I was four years old." I could see the fight behind her eyes. Of course she wasn't going to believe me because I didn't even think that she was going to touch me. "Please don't cry, Blue." I begged. I could cope up with my own pain but hers was too hard to deal with. She shouldn't be crying. She should laugh. Always laugh. I took her hands in mine and brought them to my cheeks, making her hold my face.

"You can touch me anywhere but my chest and my middle back. Please, Anastasia. It's not about you, I swear." Her fingers traced my forehead and my stubble, watching my reactions carefully. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling of little fingertips traveling in my eyelids. I kissed her fingertip when she traced my lips and opened my eyes. A small smile was upon her face, and I smiled, too, but soon, a small frown took its place on her face.

"But, Christian… I hugged you. I slept on your chest. Were you in pain all that time?" I shook my head.

"No. It didn't create the same effect as touching, and I had my shirt on. It wasn't skin to skin. I enjoyed those times." A delicious blush colored her cheeks, and I kissed her temple before pulling her to me. I rubbed her back until I felt her relax a little bit, and I pulled back to smile at her.

"Come on, go get ready."

I'd just finished the arrangements with Taylor and Mac when Anastasia appeared. She was wearing jeans and a black camisole. I smiled at her.

"It'd be best if you took a hoodie or something. It'll be windy today. I don't want you to get sick." She looked down at her hands, her sign of discomfort.

"Um… but there's not a hoodie in the clothes you brought me." I wanted to kick myself. She was still using the clothes Taylor bought a week ago. Why didn't she say something before? She probably had nothing to wear today to my parents'.

"I completely forget to get you clothes, Anastasia. Why didn't you say something?" She kept looking at her hands, and I shook my head.

"Come, we'll find you something." I lead her to my bedroom. My sweatshirts were way too big for her, but I knew what I'd give her. I dug through the clothes, until I found my old Harvard hoodie. I was a lot thinner when I first started at Harvard; since then I've worked out daily. She looked surprised when her gaze landed on it.

"You went to Harvard, too?" There was excitement on her face. Something I've never seen outside of the library before.

"Only for a year." I chuckled. "I dropped out and started my company. It wasn't the right place for me. Who else went to Harvard?" She blushed.

"Me." I raised my eyebrows. It wasn't because I thought she wasn't smart enough or anything, but it was still surprising, and pleasantly so. I smiled, not wanting to make her feel inadequate. I made a mental note to make her continue her education after she got better. If she had that kind of motivation, it'd be such a shame to see it go to waste.

"Well done, Miss Anastasia." She giggled and put the hoodie on. It was still big for her, but for some unknown reason, it looked good to me. I held out my hand.

"Shall we?" She smiled and took my hand.

I didn't miss Taylor's glance at our joined hands and then at Anastasia. He turned away as soon as he realized how Anastasia came closer to me, afraid of him. Even though I explained to her upon several occasions that Taylor was here to protect us both, not harm us, she was still frightened by him. She always stuck to my side whenever he was around. I caressed her fingers, hoping to relax her. She looked over all the cars in the garage while Taylor led us to the Aston Martin.

"Which one is yours?" I smirked.

"All of them." She looked dumbfounded for a few moments while I laughed her expression. She probably didn't know how I rich I was.

"I'll drive, Taylor." I told him when he opened the door.

"There must be paparazzi, sir. They'll be interested in the girl with you."

"Anastasia is scared of you, Taylor. I want her relaxed today. You can follow behind if you think it's necessary."

"Sir," he agrees with a nod.

"Also, please call Caroline Acton and give her the size you got Anastasia before. I want a full closet when we come back."

"Yes, sir." He nodded before taking a step back. I opened Anastasia's door.

"Miss Anastasia?" Not knowing her last name made it hard to tease her but she giggled anyway. She looked around with such curiosity, she looked like a little child to me. She leaned into the window, and I was sure she fell asleep by the time I pulled to the parking lot of the marina. Not that I blamed her; neither of us got enough sleep last night. I stroked her hair.

"Anastasia, wake up. We're here." She mumbled and opened her eyes slowly.

"Wake up, sleepyhead." I smiled at her innocent expression and went to open her door, but she was already outside. She looked around with the same childish intrigue while I held her hand and led her to the Grace. She stopped when I tried to lead her inside.

"Is this your boat?"

"Yes." She blushed again.

"I was expecting… a smaller one." I chuckled and kissed her hair.

"What's her name?" I step aside so that she can see the name on the side of my beauty.

"You named her after your mother?" I nodded and help her inside. Mac was already coming outside. He probably heard me showing Anastasia the bathrooms and bedrooms. He looked surprised when he saw Anastasia, he was probably expecting someone from my family. I didn't like the way he looked at her, though.

"Mac, this is my girlfriend, Anastasia."

"Nice to meet you." He recovered quickly and shook her hand. "Everything is ready, Mr. Grey. We can go as soon as you want." I nodded.

"I want to take her out myself after we have breakfast. It's ready, isn't it?"

"Yes, Mr. Grey. Your table is ready on the deck."

"Thank, Mac." He nodded and went to control room.

Our breakfast was quiet but comfortable. She ate more than I've ever seen her eat, and I couldn't be more pleased.

"Tell me more about your family, Christian." I smiled. I was expecting this question sooner.

"Well, you met my mother. My father, Carrick, is a lawyer. He has his own company. Elliot, my brother, is an architect, and my sister, Mia, is in France. She's learning pastry."

"Are they adopted, too?" I nodded.

"Are you the oldest?"

"No. Elliot is the oldest. I'm the middle child." She smiled.

"I'm sure you act like the oldest." I looked at her, surprised. That was something my mother usually said to her friends. That I don't know how to act my age. It was surprising of her to notice that despite never seeing me around them. But, she saw into my soul after all.

"I don't know about that." My annoyed voice made her laugh, throwing her head back and everything. I joined her, and we finished our breakfast with high spirits.

I soon realized how easy it was for me to spend time with her. Hours flew by. We took Grace out together, and she helped me open the sails. I tried to teach her some sailor knots, but she wasn't much good at handcrafts and ended up tangling them until I told her to stop, between my laughs. That made her pout for almost an hour until I managed to convince her I was laughing at her expression, not her inability. Her pout was also sweet, like everything else about her, but my favorite was her giggle. I frequently teased her and loved to see her blushed cheeks and hear her giggle. I didn't even notice how much time had passed until Taylor called me in order to check up on us. I told him that we'd be back in a few hours. I laughed at Anastasia's sad face and kissed her forehead.

"I promise we'll come again. We promised Grace this time." She nodded and hugged me while we pulled up to the shore. There were people watching us, but all I saw was Anastasia and her sun-kissed skin, her flushed cheeks, and her tangled hair. She was so beautiful, she took my breath away. I watched her while she watched the sunset.

* * *

 **Finally, Anastasia's past revealed. It was an important chapter, please let me know what do you think.**

 **Special thanks to** FannieForever15 for betareading.

P.S The song they danced to is "Beautiful Tango" by Hindi Zahra.


	7. Chapter 7: Home

**Chapter 7: Home**

"Anastasia?" I knocked on her door. It's been a while since we arrived and went to our own rooms to get ready. Her soft voice invited me in.

"You can come in, Christian." I stepped into the familiar room, and she was sitting on the edge of the bed, her cheeks flushed and her gaze fixed on her lap.

"Is there something wrong?" She bit her bottom lip, a habit I could tell was subconscious.

"I don't think jeans and a camisole are the most suitable clothes to meet your family in." I chuckled and shook my head a little. Silly girl… she didn't even look in the wardrobe.

"Taylor got you some clothes. Did you look at them?" She looked at me, surprised.

"No." She muttered while her cheeks turned from pink to red. I couldn't help but raise my hand and caress them.

"Well, go ahead and look at them, and even if you can't find anything you like, jeans and a camisole is fine. You look beautiful in anything, and my parents are going to be so happy that I finally found a girl, they won't mind if you wear a sack." She smiled softly and leaned into my touch.

"What should I tell them?"

"What do you mean?"

"They are probably going to ask what I do, where I live or how we met…"

"Oh." I didn't even think about that when letting Mom tell them that Anastasia is my girlfriend. I didn't want to feed my family lies, but the truth was too ugly.

"I don't think you should lie about yourself, but just tell them whatever you want. About you living with me. How about you had some problems with your house owner and had nowhere else to go?" She nodded.

"Where did we meet?" I had no fucking idea about that one. Where do people meet their girlfriends? Girlfriends R Us?

"I have no idea." I looked at her, hoping she could come up with something plausible.

"How about a store? I used to work at a hardware store." The possibility of me shopping from a hardware store was low as the possibility of a fish flying, but this was the best option we had. I nodded and gestured toward the wardrobe.

"Let me know when you're ready."

"What should I wear?" I looked at her, confused.

"Clothes?" She rolled her eyes.

"What kind of clothes, Christian?"

"I don't know." I quickly thought over the girls Elliot had brought home, most of them wore dresses. "A dress maybe?" She nodded. I went out to check in with Taylor, in case something happened while we were busy. He was talking with others when I stepped into the security room. All of them greeted me with nods, which I returned. Taylor followed me outside.

"Is there anything wrong, Taylor?"

"No, sir. Everything is fine."

"Good. I think you should be able to find something about Anastasia… her father's name is Ray and she went to Harvard, English Lit." He frowned.

"There can be thousands of 'Anastasia's who've went there, sir."

"She's 22 and only took one year of classes. Bribe whoever you need to, Taylor. I want to learn everything I can about her."

"I'll do my best, sir."

"Thank you, Taylor. We are going to leave for my parents' soon."

"Yes, sir." I turned to go and check up on Anastasia again. We were going to be late. She was waiting in the living room for me, having decided on wearing a green, long-sleeved dress. Her hair was combed neatly and falling beautifully to her shoulders. I wanted to laugh at her nervous expression, but I knew better.

"You look beautiful, Anastasia." She blushed for the hundredth time today. She always blushed when nervous or embarrassed, but I knew she felt safe when I saw her cheeks redden. I couldn't remember her blushing even once in the first week she came home with me. I didn't take any less pride in her feeling safe with me, but I intended to keep it that way. She was going to trust me until the end of our lives.

 _End of your lives, Grey?_

I ignored the voice in my head and held my hand out to her. She quickly walked towards me and took my hand. I used to hold my submissives' hands sometimes, but only to lead them around. It felt nice with Anastasia, though. Her delicate fingers felt so nice in my larger hand. I liked the feeling. We didn't talk much until Taylor pulled up to my parents' house. I got out before Taylor and opened her door for her, offering her my arm. I don't know why, but I craved some kind of physical contact with her today, after hearing all the shit she had been through last night… like I needed to know that she was here with me, safe. I shook my head and tried to push the negative thoughts out of my head. I heard Anastasia take a deep breath while I rang the bell.

"Don't be nervous." I smiled, trying to ease her tension. "My mom already adores you." Gretchen opened the door and welcomed us. She took our coats while eye-fucking me, as usual. I was used to these stares from women around me, but for some odd reason, it disturbed me with Anastasia by my side. She thanked Gretchen and took my hand when Elliot burst from the dining room with a huge grin on his stupid face.

"Well," he said, drawing the word out. "Is that the mentally deranged lady who took my brother as her boyfriend?" I looked at my mother who was standing by the door with a surprised look on her face. Mentally deranged? How rude of him. Anastasia literally jumped toward me and grabbed my arm tightly, almost like she was hiding behind it. Elliot's grin disappeared when he saw how she leaned into me like a scared little child.

"A woman has to be a psychopath if she's hanging out with Christian," he says jokingly, trying to lighten the mood. I sighed. He didn't know anything; he was just being stupid. I felt Anastasia relax a little at his foolishness, but she still didn't let go of my arm. I brushed her knuckles and gave her a small smile. I don't know what she saw in my eyes or in my smile, but she relaxed completely. My mother came after Elliot then and slapped his upper arm lightly.

"Have you forgotten your manners? Don't be rude." She smiled and hugged Anastasia, then me. Elliot stepped forward and offered his hand to Anastasia.

"I'm sorry little lady; I don't want to scare you off. I'm sure that my brother over there manages that well enough. I'm Elliot, the handsome of the two Grey brothers." He shamelessly winked at Anastasia while she was shaking his hand, hesitantly.

"Anastasia." She said quietly while I rolled my eyes at my theatrical brother.

"Come on, bro." He laughed and playfully punched my shoulder. "You know that she'd have chosen me if she saw me first. Right, Anastasia?" She looked at me with a surprised face, and I could tell she didn't know how to respond to his personality.

"What?" Elliot burst out laughing, making a beautiful blush spread across her cheeks.

"Okay, okay, it looks like you're avoiding the question, which is an answer in itself." He winked at her again and turned around to go back to the dining room. I couldn't help but chuckle at Anastasia's surprised expression. I took her hand in mine and smile reassuringly.

"Your dad is running late, Christian," Mom informed me, looking at our joined hands with an unidentifiable look on her face. "Is it okay if we wait for a few more minutes?" I nodded and she turned to Anastasia.

"Anastasia?"

"Y-yes?"

"Is it okay with you if we wait for a few minutes, or are you hungry?"

"O-of course it's okay. We can wait." There was a strange expression on her face, which had I started to understand. She wasn't expecting my mother to ask for her opinion. Hell, she wasn't even expecting people to talk to her like a human being, in general. The opening of the front door saved Grace from having to respond. A bright smile crept across her face as she went to greet my father.

It was always like that with them; my mother and father had always been in love. After all these years, they still greeted each other with the same excitement. I used to ponder about their relationship quite a bit when I was a child, comparing them to crack whore. I used to wonder why nobody loved her the way that Carrick loved Grace, and vice versa. That was when I began to realize that nobody was going to love me like that, either. Not that I never wanted someone to love me like that. But still…

"I'm sorry, darling," Carrick apologized while kissing Mom. He looked at us, smiling softly. "You must be Anastasia!" he exclaimed and held out his hand, which Anastasia took with a bit of hesitance.

"I'm Carrick, Christian's father. You have no idea how happy I am to finally meet you. You're all that Grace has been talking about for the past few days." Anastasia blushed at that, and I squeezed her hand as a reminder that I was by her side and to reassure her that she was okay.

"It's nice to meet you, too, Mr. Grey."

"Oh, Carrick is fine." Dad turned to me and put his hand on my shoulder, shaking me slightly. "Look who's here. Our lost son!" I laughed, because he wasn't that far off from the truth. Our last meeting was probably a few months ago, phone calls notwithstanding. It wasn't like I didn't want to spend time with them, but I was just busy.

"Let's have dinner." Mom clapped her hands together, while putting her hand to Anastasia's shoulder and leading her away from me. I frowned and reluctantly let her hand go, knowing that ultimately, she was safe with Grace. Anastasia shot a surprised glance at me over her shoulder and let my mother pull her into the dining room.

"Anastasia, I heard you like tomato soup…" I saw her nodding, Grace engaged in small talk with her until we all seated around the dining table, clearly in an attempt to make her more at ease around the family. I silently hoped that she would warm up to Grace because of this. She sat by my side, of course, and though she didn't talk without being talked to first, she kindly answered everyone's questions.

"So, where do you live, Anastasia?" Elliot asked. I heard her swallow and decided to answer him myself.

"She living with me, for now. The owner of her apartment was an asshole." He looked surprised, and I saw my mom and dad exchange glances. Grace shook her head towards Carrick, probably to tell him not to say anything. Their reactions came as no surprise. My father would probably wait until he and I were alone to warn me of what a gold digger she must be, and I'm sure he'll want to look into her legal background. As if I couldn't do that by myself. Elliot just smiled at her, her discomfort more than obvious.

"I know how much of a pain in the ass they can be. Yeah, one of my friends was robbed and her house was vandalized, but her owner made her pay all the damages even though it was supposed to be backwards, legally. Moving out was probably for the best, Anastasia." I saw her smiling softly at him. For some reason, the exchange bothered me. It was probably because I knew how Elliot charmed women by making jokes and smiling at them, like he was doing with Anastasia right now.

"Are you a student, Anastasia?" My dad's manner was completely changed. I could see how he was turning from a father who's meeting his son's girlfriend to a lawyer who's facing a case. I could practically heard the wheels turning in his head. I wanted to grab Anastasia and storm out. He was going to scare her again. She nodded at him.

"Kind of. I used to study English Literature."

"Used to?" He raised an eyebrow.

"I needed to leave the school, for private reasons, after my first year." My incredibly intelligent father didn't understand the meaning of privacy, though, apparently.

"And when was that?"

"Four years ago." I could hear in her voice that she was about to break down. I wanted to punch myself in the face. What the hell was I thinking, bringing her here like this? I shouldn't have even let my mother know about her. It was a huge mistake. I could see a hint of relaxation in my father's face, but he was probably thinking that she left the school because I'm supporting her.

"And now?" I heard my mother mutter something, but he didn't seem to mind, whatever it was. My hand, which was resting on the table, clenched into a fist. I wanted to punch something. Preferably myself. I involuntary relaxed when small, delicate fingers caressed my fist and held my hand when my fingers relaxed. Anastasia squeezed my hand lightly.

"I'm working in a hardware store." Her voice was stronger than before, and my dad bounced a little in his seat. With a smirk on my face, I realized that Grace probably kicked him under the table. I wished she had slapped his face. God knows he would have deserved it.

"Where did you study, Anastasia?" Elliot asked, with that same slight smile gracing his face that made me want to punch it off of his face.

"Harvard." I saw parent's raise their eyebrows, making Anastasia blush uncomfortably.

"What a coincidence!" Elliot laughed. "You know that Christian dropped out from Harvard, don't you?" She smiled, nodding.

"I didn't know that you went to Harvard, Anastasia," my mother exclaimed. "You should definitely go back once all of your problems are solved." She smiled at my mother kindly, but I saw no hope in her eyes. I silently promised myself that I was going to make her continue. It looked like my father's curiosity was suppressed for the moment, but I wasn't sure I was satisfied. Elliot and Anastasia became closer, though. Too close for my liking. She was merely answering him kindly at first, but she quickly started to look interested. They basically spend the night chatting, laughing, and smiling. I didn't like it at all. He turned to me after some time, finally taking his eyes off Anastasia.

"What the hell were you doing with the boat today?" I looked at him, questioningly. I'll do whatever the hell I want with my boat, thank you. "You told me to bring someone for the new speed sail, remember?" Oh. That.

"I completely forget about it, Elliot. I'm sorry. I took Anastasia sailing today. Bring them tomorrow, Mac can help them out." He nodded while my mother looked at Anastasia, excited.

"Did you see the Grace?" Anastasia laughed quietly, nodding. "Did you like it?"

"Yes, of course. She was.. yar." Her blue eyes met mine across the room, making all the tension leave my body with a simple look and a delicate smile. I returned her grin, remembering the way we watched Philadelphia Story together, her body pressed against mine. Grace looked delighted.

"Did you watch the Philadelphia Story?"

"Yes, I watched it with Christian. He said that it was your favorite movie." She nodded and looked at me with the same awkward look she gave me when we first came. I needed to ask her what her deal was. The rest of the evening was quiet. Until we heard the doorbell rang. I looked at my mother, questioningly. She shrugged, and I knew then she wasn't expecting anyone else.

"Good evening, Gretchen." I stopped in my tracks when I heard the familiar, cold voice. What the hell?! She wasn't supposed to be here. I knew my mother would tell her, but I thought Elena would respect my wish about not seeing Anastasia. Apparently not. Everyone stood up to greet her.

"Hi, everyone." She was wearing a simple black dress, but I knew why she was here by her jewelry and posture. She was in full mistress mode. Was she trying to tell me that she's my mistress and I needed to obey her? The hell I would. But there was nothing I could do around my parents, and she knew that too well. My parents greeted her with hugs, and she smiled at Elliot before her eyes caught the thin girl beside her.

"Elena, this is Anastasia, Christian's girlfriend." She smiled brightly, showing her perfect teeth, which I was one-hundred percent sure scared the shit out of Anastasia.

"Nice to meet you, Anastasia. It's nice to know Christian is finally bringing someone home with him." She shot me a smug look.

"I brought her to meet my family." I said simply, reminding her that she's not a part of this. Her smile widened.

"I was just passing by and wanted to say hi."

"We were just about to leave." I took a few steps towards Anastasia, but my mother was having none of that.

"What? Of course not, Christian. You didn't even have any coffee. Tomorrow's Sunday, and you're not going to work, so you have no excuse. Now, sit down." Elena's smug expression increased while I exhaled and turned around. She started to talk to my mother again, but I could see her gaze on Anastasia. She saw it, too. Kept throwing me scared and confused stares. I tried to smile reassuringly, not wanting her to freak out, but it was hard to keep myself calm with the boiling anger inside me. Surprisingly, Elena didn't try to talk to her. It could be the fact that I was watching Anastasia like a hawk.

"Christian, can you come to my office for a few minutes?"

"Not now, dad." He frowned.

"It's not going take long." I sighed. I guess it was okay to leave her for a few minutes. My mother and Elliot were there. I followed him out of the room, upstairs to his office. He closed the door behind him and crossed his arms across his chest.

"What is Anastasia's surname?" I shook my head. I knew it. My dad was the most predictable person in this world.

"No. You're not going to dig into her past."

"Christian, do you really think that it's coincidence that she needs a new apartment and comes to you? Are you that naïve? She seems nice, but you need to be-"

"I said no. I know people, dad. I'm not naïve. There is a reason why I have an empire right now. I know Anastasia well enough. You need to trust me on this." He sighed.

"Christian, don't take this in the wrong way, but you're not the most experienced man when it comes to women." I laughed. I couldn't help. I wanted nothing more than to show him my playroom right then. It would be interesting to see his reaction. But knowing that wasn't realistic, I just shook my head.

"Just because I never brought anyone to meet you doesn't mean I'm a virgin, Dad. It seems like I shouldn't have brought her, anyways. Look at how you're welcoming her." He looked bemused for a moment.

"Christian… no, I didn't mean to-"

"Yeah, but you did. Didn't you notice how uncomfortable you made her at dinner? I bring a girl to meet my parents, but my father can't stop interrogating her like she's a fucking criminal."

"What?! I never disrespected her." I took a deep breath and run my hands in my hair.

"You know what, dad? You're right. It was wrong to bring her here. She might be a gold digger, and I should've kept her to myself." Wow. Even I didn't even realize how insulted I felt with the way he treated Anastasia. He took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Christian. You're right. I should've been a father and tried to get to know her rather than just questioning her. I'm sorry. You didn't make a mistake; of course you should bring your girlfriends to meet us." He looked truly apologetic, so I let it go. I nodded, and he gestured to the door. I wanted to go. There was a reason I never did the girlfriend thing. Look how much drama it caused. All I wanted to do was hug Anastasia and forget about the rest of the world.

But when I returned to her, something was wrong. I found Anastasia's hands clutched in her lap, her head bowed and eyes trained downward.

Just like the way she sat down when I first found her.

What happened? I had no idea.

"Anastasia?" I asked quietly, stroking her hair with my fingers and ignoring my mother and Elena, on purpose. She didn't meet my eyes but nodded a bit. I frowned, and Grace started to convince me to stay again, but enough was enough. We said goodbye to everyone, and Elliot gave Anastasia a bear hug, which I didn't like one bit.

"See you later, little lady." She smiled at him, but it didn't reach her eyes. I swallowed. Why was I sure that it had something to do with Elena?

"Goodbye, Anastasia. It was really nice to meet you." Elena purred while shaking her hand. Anastasia looked defeated, her shoulders slumped. She nodded and turned around.

"Good night, Christian. Don't be a stranger." I tried to show all of my anger for her in my eyes.

"I'm a busy man, Elena. Good night."

Anastasia didn't mutter a word on our way home. She kept playing with her fingers and staring at them. I waited for her to speak up for a few minutes, but then the silence was enough. I took a deep breath, trying not to talk too sharply and scare her off.

"Anastasia? What's wrong?" She shook her head.

"Nothing."

"There's something wrong." I put my finger under her chin and lifted her eyes to meet mine. I was struck by the pain I saw in those blues. Fuck. It was bad. Really bad. It was like she hadn't made any progress. It was like she was the same broken girl had I dragged to my house.

"Blue." I whispered, caressing her cheeks with my other hand and trying to ease her pain. "Talk to me." Her bottom lip quivered while tears filled her blue eyes. She swallowed.

"Christian, when are you going to give me to her?" Her voice was so small and full of resignation, I couldn't even process what she was saying.

"What?"

"I'm not going to resist," she said in the same subdued tone. "I'm not going to make a scene. I'll go willingly this time. You've already done so much for me. It's just… can you tell me when? So I can prepare myself?"

"I don't know what are you talking about, Blue. I'm not giving you to anyone." She looked at me, confused, while a single tear travelled down her face to wet my fingers.

"Elena… she said that she's going to be my mistress, if I was lucky enough." Are you fucking kidding me? "She said that you don't like disobedient ones like me, so you'll give me to her to train me when I'm physically ready." I closed my eyes, my chest rising and falling much too fast. I tried to count to ten, like Flynn told me to do. Don't scare her, I told myself. Be calm. She needs you calm right now. It was the hardest thing to do, but I somehow managed not to break something. I opened my eyes and caressed her cheeks again, wiping her tears away. She was more important than the burning range inside me.

"I'm not giving you to anyone else, Anastasia. She was making things up. I don't understand why, but she lied to you. I would never make such a deal with her. In fact, I told her that I'm not going to let you go." She looked confused and definitely not convinced. I would've choked Elena with my bare hands if she was with us in that car. She erased all the progress we made. She shattered all the pieces of Anastasia that I had managed to glue together.

"Please believe me. I would never do something like that. How many times have I told you that I don't expect you to be my submissive? Please, Blue." I begged, and her tears turned to uncontrollable sobs. I pulled her to my lap, and she didn't resist. She simply pressed her head between my shoulder and neck and cried. Taylor pulled up to Escala, and glanced at me through the rear-view mirror. I told him with my look to give us some space. I wasn't going anywhere until I had my Anastasia back.

 _Your Anastasia, Grey?_

"It made sense." She said between her sobs. "Christian, please don't lie to me if you have a plan like that."

"No, baby. No." I hugged her closer to me. "I'm not letting you go." I kept repeating those words over and over until her sobs quieted, and she turned to look at me.

"She's not just your mother's friend, is she, Christian?" I shook my head. I wasn't going to lie to her. There was no point, in the end.

"She's the women who introduced me to this lifestyle." She opened her blue eyes wide, her face filling with surprise.

"But she's so much older than you!" she blurted. I chuckled, despite the somber mood. She sure was, but it didn't matter to a 15 year old Christian.

"Yes, she is."

"You said that your sex life started like that? How old were you?"

"15."

"What?!" Her voice was the loudest I had ever heard from her. I sighed. It wasn't like I expected her to understand. Of course she was going to find this repulsive. "That bitch seduced a 15 year old boy?!" She yelled again, but her cheeks blushed right after she realized she swore. I couldn't find the courage to correct her because Elena was the biggest bitch in my eyes after what she had done today. I couldn't understand why. She must have known that Anastasia was going to tell me. What was her angle? What game was she playing?

"It wasn't like that," I explained, playing with her brown curls. "It was mutual. I knew what I was getting myself into." I could see in her eyes that she wanted to disagree, but she didn't say anything. She just raised her hand and stroked my cheek. I felt myself relax once again. Why did she have this kind of effect on me? There was a look in her eyes that told me how insane she thought I was.

"Don't look at me like that." I muttered.

"Like what?" She frowned and I kissed the little 'v' that formed between her brows.

"Like you can see through my soul." She smiled lazily.

"I do." I shook my head, smiling her.

"You wouldn't be here like this with me if you did."

"I'm sure I would." I shook my head but didn't comment because there was a new desire building inside of me. I wanted to kiss her. With her tear stained cheeks and her clear blue eyes, there was nothing I wanted to do more, but my brain knew better. I sighed.

"Are you ready to go home?" She nodded.

"Yes. Home." I smiled at the relief in her voice. The funny thing was, I was feeling the same. Home was where we missed.

"Home." I repeated.

* * *

 **Hi everybody! I'm sorry it took me too long to update but finals really beat me up.**

 **I hope you like the chapter, I intend to make Anastasia socialize a little bit more.**

 **Ramadan Mubarek to all of my Muslim readers!**

 **Lots of love to FannieForever15 for correcting my mistakes.**

 **-Alina**


	8. Chapter 8: Privacy

**Chapter 8: Privacy**

"Are you sure, Mr. Grey? I can find someone to take my place for a few days." Gail's voice was apologetic, even though this wasn't her fault.

"It's okay, Gail. We'll be fine for a few days. Don't worry. Let me know if I can do anything for your sister. I hope she'll get well soon."

"Thank you, Mr. Grey." There was a silence, and I wondered why she wasn't ending the call. Gail called me while I as enjoying my morning coffee with Anastasia in the living room. We were seated in front of the glass wall together. She was reading a book while leaning into my chest, while I took a look into today's news. Gail was really sorry that she needed to stay with her sister, but the girl suffered terrible injuries, broken bones one of them, from an accident, and someone needed to take care of her. I didn't understand Gail's frantic call since it was as if she was expecting me to fire her because her sister had an accident. She could stay with her sister as long as she needed as far as I was concerned.

"Um, Mr. Grey? Can I talk to Anastasia, too?" I was surprised at her request, but it wasn't that unexpected. They had spent the past few weeks together at home. I was understandable that she was worried about Anastasia.

"Of course." I held the phone to Anastasia. She took it from me and started talking immediately.

"Is your sister okay, Gail?" I tried to give her some privacy but wasn't willing to let her go. She felt nice, leaning into me like she was. Her dark curls spread across my chest and created a beautiful contrast against my white t-shirt. She was beautiful.

"Of course." She rolled her eyes. "We were with Christian's parents last night." She giggled. "No, Gail, I didn't make pancakes again. It's okay. I'll take care of him." She turned to me and flashed me a sweet smile while all I could do was smirk her. Take care of me, huh?

"Okay, goodbye. Take care." She ended the call and handed my phone back to me. I stroked her hair, enjoying the softness of her locks.

"What was that about pancakes?" She laughed a little before leaving her book on the coffee table and taking a sip from her coffee.

"I love pancakes and have been eating them every morning. Gail made them for me, of course. She was asking if I forced you to eat them, too." I laughed and pulled her to my chest again. Pancakes would be okay for me, but she made eggs and bacon today, which was pretty delicious. Anastasia was a good cook.

She sighed and hugged me tightly, her hands resting carefully on my lower back. She was always careful, trying not to touch my middle back when we were hugging or not to touch my chest while she was feeling my heartbeat when we were sleeping. I liked how she paid attention to me like that.

We slept together last night. Again. I didn't want either of us to have nightmares. Apparently, they didn't occur when we sleep together, so why would I take the risk and make her sleep in another room? She cried enough last night, thanks to Elena. I was going to pay her a visit tomorrow to find out what the fuck she was trying to do, but Anastasia's reaction bothered me. I knew she trusted me, I saw it in her eyes every time she looked at me, but her trust in me didn't stop her from believing Elena. I tried to delay her meeting with Flynn, but last night made me realize that it was necessary now. She can't get through this relying on my help alone, but I didn't know how to tell her that. She was going to assume the worst, and I was honestly afraid that it was going to shatter the trust we'd built up between us. I caressed her back slowly, breathing in her heavenly scent. It was what kept my nightmares away, I was sure of it.

"What do you want to do today?" I asked, and she snuggled into me a little more.

"Can't we stay at home? I think I socialized enough yesterday." I remembered my dad's stunt.

"Anastasia… I'm sorry for the way my father behaved."

"It's okay. He's worried about you. It's completely natural. It's a father thing to do." She chuckled, and I thought about her father, Ray. I couldn't imagine his sadness. Was he still looking for her? Did he give up? Did he think that she was dead? I hoped Taylor and Welch managed to find her background and her father.

"Was your father like that, too?" I asked. She immediately tensed and took a deep breath.

"Yes, actually. He is a soldier, so it was his nature to protect me. He was always worried about me. He never liked… him." It was no wonder she couldn't say his name, after all the things that bastard had done to her. "He called one of his friends from the FBI to do a background check." She swallowed hard, I rubbed her arm reassuringly, reminding her that I was here.

"What did he find out?"

"Nothing. He was as clean as me. Not even a speeding ticket. That made Ray take a step back. He thought that he was overreacting. That was what I told him over and over again." I could hear the guilt in her voice. She blamed herself, not listening to her father. But it was natural, he made her believe that they were in love. There wasn't much she could do.

"It wasn't your fault, Anastasia." I hugged her tighter. "How could you have known what he was planning?"

"I acted so stupidly, Christian." I heard the tears in her voice as she tried not to cry. "I should've waited for Ray to come home. I should've told him."

"Come home? Where was he?"

"Iraq. He was due back home a month after I left. I-I didn't even leave him a note. I promised him that I was going to come get him from the airport. I can't imagine how long he must have waited. But… but I never came for him." She let the sobs take over, and just I held her, unable to do anything else.

"I can find your father if you tell me his surname, Blue."

"Can you?" Her blue eyes gazed at me, unbelieving and afraid. I nodded. I didn't want to be overbearing, but I'd find anyone she wanted. I've never heard her talk about her mother, but I'd find her, too, if she wanted. She took a shaky breath and shook her head.

"I'm sure last thing he needs is me coming back. He's supposed to move on. He probably hates me." She swallowed again, and hot, salty tears were streaming down her face. I wiped them away with my fingers.

"I don't think so, Blue. Would you hate him if he just disappeared?"

"No." She whispered and closed her eyes.

"I think he'll be happy to have you back. Do you want to see him?"

"No." Her voice is determined now. I sighed, she was so stubborn. I couldn't even imagine that my dad would hate Mia if she disappeared like that. He'd be devastated. He'd probably have to give up searching for her after a few years, but he'd never forget her or move on, let alone hate her. But I could see that Anastasia wasn't ready to pursue it any further, so I dropped it.

"Just know that you can see him if you want, okay?" She nodded and put her head back to my chest. I felt the tension leave her shoulders after a few minutes. She sighed.

"Your heartbeat really calms me down." I didn't know what to say so I just held her while her breathing slowed, and she drifted into sleep. She was sleeping much more than me lately. Actually, over the last two nights I'd probably slept the longest I have in ages. Three or four hours were usually enough for me. Not that I have a lot of choice, though. How could I sleep with this situation? I shook my head and hugged her closer, reaching out and grabbing the newspaper once again.

I managed to read for a few minutes before Taylor appeared in the living room, a familiar manila file in his hand. He stopped once he saw Anastasia sleeping in my arms. I gestured to him to wait while cradling Anastasia in my arms and carrying her to her room. She stirred slightly but didn't wake up. I put her to bed and pulled the sheets around her, and suddenly she grabbed my arm.

"Christian." My name came out of her soft lips like a mantra. She sighed and smiled in her sleep.

"I'm here." I whispered to her ear and brushed her fingers on my arm. Eventually she turned around and let me go. Taylor was in the same spot I left him. I didn't want to take the chance of Anastasia overhearing us, so I lead him to my office and closed the door.

"What did you find?" He handed me the file.

"I found her, sir." I brushed my fingers over the file, reading the label. Anastasia Rose Steele. I guess the name suited her.

"Did you find anything about her father?" I recalled Anastasia's earlier words. I didn't think her father moved on, but I needed to be prepared just in case. He nodded.

"He's looking for her, Sir. He has some friends in the FBI, and they are all searching for Miss Steele." It felt different to hear him call her that. I was used to "Miss Anastasia." The FBI? How could it be possible for the FBI to not find a girl like her? Taylor saw my expression and sighed.

"Apparently someone else's connections with the FBI are stronger than Raymond Steele. He is hitting the walls as I do." I sighed. That probably meant that son of a bitch was rich. But does he own Seattle? I would smirk if my mind wasn't so focused on Anastasia and her dad. I knew that one day Anastasia was going to tell me that bastard's name, and I was going to take him down that day and enjoy every second.

"Are you sure he's still looking for her?" I wanted to be sure. What would I do if I convince Anastasia to see her father and he doesn't want her?

"He retired, sir. Right after Miss Steele disappeared. He still spends every Saturday in the police station and changes the searching ads in the streets nearby." I raised my eyebrows. Looking for her after four years? It was insane! I mean, of course he'll want her home, but spending every weekend like that?

"Why would he look for her after all these years? I would give up." I murmured to myself more than Taylor. I was kind of just thinking out loud, but Taylor answered anyway.

"You wouldn't, sir." His voice was so sure, I looked at him in confusion. He swallowed and shook his head, like trying to get rid of a bad thought. "You wouldn't give up if it was your daughter. God knows, I wouldn't if anything like that happened to Sophie." If it was my daughter… It wasn't even a possibility. How could I be a father? But Taylor was, so if he says it was natural thing to do, I could let it go.

"What do you mean?" I asked, he didn't know the details. He only knew someone kidnapped her, unless it was written on the folder I was holding. For the first time in seven years, Taylor avoided looking at my eyes. He cleared his throat.

"I think it would be better if you read the folder, Sir." I sighed again, truth was I didn't want to. I wanted Anastasia to tell me everything by herself like she did the first time. I never had hard time to make background checks on my submissives, but it was necessary, and I couldn't care less about privacy shit. But it felt so wrong with Anastasia. I felt like I was betraying her trust. It felt like I needed her permission.

"Thank you, Taylor." I dismissed him. He nodded and left me and my thoughts alone with the evil folder sitting on my desk. I reached over and opened the cover but closed it immediately. Where the fuck did that guilt came from? I'm Christian Grey for God's sake! 15 folders just like this one are sitting in my locked desk drawer, and not once did I feel this bad and confused. I debated for God knows how long but finally decided to open and read it. It wasn't my fault that I was powerful enough to reach them, right? It wasn't taking advantage, it was going to be easier to take care of her. I took a deep breath and opened the folder, but at the same time, there was a soft knock in my door. I knew it wasn't Taylor from the knock, so I quickly closed the folder and put it under the agreements in my desk. The door opened, and I was faced with the most powerful eyes I've seen in my life. Clear, happy, but sleepy blues stared at me while I smile and call her over with my hand.

She stepped in, wearing the same black sweatpants and camisole she always wore to sleep. I was one hundred percent sure that there was some silky nightwear in her wardrobe, but for some reason, she refused to wear them. For the same reason I didn't know, she was the most beautiful girl I've ever laid my eyes on. I turned with my chair and pulled her into my lap. She didn't fight and curled into my chest like a kitten, brushing her head under my chin. I laughed, she really looked like a sleepy kitten.

"What?" Her voice was still masked with sleep.

"You look like a kitten." She giggled and pulled away.

"Ray used to say that I crawl over the fireplace like a kitten in Christmas morning." I brushed the hair that fell on her face and smiled. I could imagine a little Anastasia purring and sleeping in front of the fireplace, waiting for Santa.

"I can imagine that." She giggled again and caressed my cheek while I leaned into her touch.

"Your beard grows quickly." She muttered and kissed my cheek. I remained still because I would probably reach and kiss her full lips if moved. But of course I couldn't let her feel rejected, so I simply kissed her forehead.

"Where do you want to eat today?"

"We don't need to eat out, I can cook." I smiled. I knew that she was a good cook, but I knew there has to be some things she missed.

"How about we order pizza?" She pulled away and smiled at me brightly, her sleep forgotten completely.

"Yes!" She quickly hugged me and stood up. I immediately felt the absence. She ran towards the door, and I laughed.

The corner of the folder caught my eye, though, and I trashed it into the locked drawer, where I wouldn't be taking out soon. How could I betray a girl whose eyes light up just because I held her and order her a pizza? The answer was standing in the door, staring back at me with deep blues.

* * *

 **Hi guys!**

 **This chapter is shorter than my average but it's because there isn't much to happen. Unlike the next chapter. (Puts on an evil smile) I intend to increase the tempo a little bit.**

 **I might write the next few chapters from Anastasia's point of view but I'm not sure.**

 **I'm also sorry that I wasn't able to reply your reviews for chapter 7, please know that I cherish them. Thank you all for your support. I love you**

 **Special thanks goes to** **FannieForever15 as usual, for being amazing and making my wrongs right.**

 **-Alina**


	9. Chapter 9: Her Rock

**Chapter 9: Her Rock**

"I don't want to go." I let out a deep sigh after hearing the nervous tone in Anastasia's voice. We were on our way to Flynn's since she felt as if a home visit would be uncomfortable; I felt the opposite way, but anything to make her feel more at ease. Her unwillingness was completely natural. In fact, I remember myself throwing a fit every time Grace found me a new therapist. Laying yourself out bare to someone wasn't easy, but I also knew how relieved I felt when I first told Flynn my story. I hoped it would be the same for Anastasia. I took her hand and pulled her into my lap. It was my natural reaction to seeing her nervous or sad. I couldn't help but pulling her into my arms, where she would be safe, forever. I could feel the tension in her body as she leaned into me. Wrapping my arm around her, I caressed her shoulder.

"It's going to help, Anastasia. You need to talk to someone."

"I told you. I talk to you, isn't that enough?"

"I know, baby… but I'm not a professional. Flynn is trained for this. This is his job. He's going to help you, Anastasia, just like he helped me."

"But you said others didn't help you. What if he is not good for me?"

I took a deep breath in careful contemplation of what my answer should be. "How about we discuss this again after the session?" She sighed at my words but nodded.

"You're not going to leave me alone, right?"

"I'll be there. Even though I think it would be better if you talk to him alone."

"No. I don't know him."

"Okay." I kissed her hair and enjoyed the ride with her in my lap. I always felt safe like that, and I'm sure she did, too. When we made it to our destination, Taylor got out and opened the door for us. Anastasia was still not happy as she climbed out of the car, but I held her hand and guided her to Flynn's office, anyways. His assistant, Eleanor, smiled as soon as she saw me. I bet she saw dollar signs every time I walked through the door. I can't blame her, though.

"Dr. Flynn is expecting you, Mr. Grey. You can go in." I acknowledged her with a nod.

Flynn immediately stood up when he saw us walking in. He was so happy when I called him to say that Anastasia was going to come start her sessions. He wasn't sure that she will talk to him, but he wanted to try anyway. He quickly shook my hand and turned to Anastasia.

"Hi. I'm John Flynn." Anastasia took his hand hesitantly.

"Anastasia." Her voice was small again, so I squeezed her hand, reminding her that I was there for her. We took the loveseat opposite of Flynn's desk.

"I'm really happy that you decided to start sessions, Anastasia."

"I didn't decide. Christian did." Flynn's eyes find mine, panicked. I rolled my eyes at him as if to say "you really don't think that I would drag Anastasia here without her permission, do you?"

"I prefer to say I convinced her." She scowled at me anyways, and I smiled. She looked cute when she was annoyed.

"So, Christian why don't you wait in the hall so that we can talk a little?"

"No!" Anastasia says fiercely, grabbing onto my hand tightly in panic. "You said you'd stay." I wanted to punch Flynn in the face. I told him that I'd be staying with her when we'd talked on the phone, but no. Of course, now he must see the reason why, himself. I brushed her hair gently.

"I'm not going anywhere, Blue. Calm down." But she didn't, of course, and she was still breathing heavily.

"Do you want Christian to stay with us, Anastasia?" Flynn asked. "Don't you think you'll be more comfortable with me alone?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I don't trust you." He looked at me and chuckled; that was my first sentence spoken to him in our first session. He asked why was I not talking, and I told him I didn't trust him. I smiled at the memory and caressed Anastasia's hand in mine with my fingers. She was going to be okay. She was talking in the end.

"That was Christian's first sentence to me." He smiled at her. "And I hope that one day you'll be able to talk to me as relaxed as Christian does." She didn't answer but came closer to me.

"Okay, then. Anastasia, why don't we start from today? How did you feel when you and Christian came here?" I squeezed her hand once again. Hoping that it would make her braver.

"Nervous?" Her voice came out like a question.

"Why were you nervous?"

"I don't know you."

"But you haven't known Christian for a long time, either. Why aren't you nervous around him?"

"I was nervous around him, too. But I know him now."

"What do you think about Christian?" I looked at him, almost glaring. Even I didn't ask Anastasia that question, even though sometimes I really wondered what she was thinking about me. Besides, how was this question supposed to help Anastasia get better? The way she thinks about me had nothing to do with her past traumas. But I stayed silent and watched in awe when a bright pink tint colored Anastasia's cheeks.

"What does it have to do with my past?" I chuckled. It looked like our thoughts were in sync. However, there was a part of me which was disappointed. It wanted to hear Anastasia's thoughts.

"A lot, actually. I assume you told Christian about your past, meanwhile you don't want to tell me anything even though you didn't know him for a long time. So I assume you think he's trustworthy?" Her blush spread more across her face, and now I was more than curious to know what was making her blush like that. Was it that bad? It's the only thing will explain all this embarrassment, she probably didn't want to tell now because I was sitting beside her. I sighed and leaned into her.

"Do you want me to leave you two alone?"

"No." She grasped my hand again. She swallowed and answered Flynn without looking at me.

"I trust Christian more than I trusted anyone before."

"Why do you think this is?"

"Because he helped me in my most desperate time and didn't want anything in return."

"How do you know? Maybe he's waiting for you to get better so that he can get what he wants?" Her face showed something I didn't expect at that moment: anger. I was kind of expecting her to agree Flynn in that matter.

"No. He doesn't." She was so sure of herself. Pride filled my chest. It was so relaxing to see her finally seeing the truth. I wasn't going to want anything from her.

"How can you be sure?" Okay, I seriously considered punching Flynn right then. It wasn't like he was my opponent. He was older and I was in shape; I could easily take him down. What was he trying to do? Break the trust we worked so hard to build? Or make Anastasia question my motives?

"Because someone who's just waiting for me to get better wouldn't spend their weekends with me only to watch classical movies. Or wouldn't let me use their library freely and even bring me tea sometimes. Or wouldn't take me to dinner with his family. Or wouldn't take me to his expensive but apparently useless shrinks. Are these reasons enough?"

Flynn threw his head back and laughed, and I sat there, stunned. I've only seen Anastasia's fierce side in the books she loved. I would never guess she would act the same in a manner directed at me. She looked more than annoyed at Flynn, and I started to question my decision to convince her to come. Maybe Flynn wasn't good for her.

"I think we're done for today, Anastasia. I hope you are kind enough to pay more visits to this useless shrink." She scowled but didn't answer him. We stood up and shook his hand.

"She's going to be better sooner than you think, Christian." He whispered to me while we leave. And I wanted to believe him.

* * *

"She's incredibly stupid." Anastasia commented while we watched the same stupid travelling program we watched before. It seemed that the girl's indifferent and idiotic comments weren't something special for Paris; she was stupid in general. It became some sort of our routine; the show was on air usually after we ate our lunch, and Anastasia found it funny how the girl irritated me. We watch it the way we watched it in the beginning, Anastasia sitting between my legs on the floor while I comb her hair or play with her dark locks. The blonde girl was now travelling Prague.

"It's a fact, Blue. It's not open for discussion." She giggled, and that laugh was my favorite sound in the world lately. It was so girly and carefree, I wanted to hear it all the time.

"I was going to visit Prague," she said, leaning her head on my knee. "A lot of writers find the city impressing. It was on my list."

"You still can," I told her, brushing her hair with my fingers. "What's stopping you?" She laughed humorlessly.

"Travelling is the last thing I should be thinking about. I have to sort my life out. I can't live with you forever, can I?"

"Yes, you can." She really could, I wasn't just saying that. She was probably the only person I could be so relaxed around and trust with my everything. Why would she go and live somewhere else? It didn't make sense.

"You're doing enough for me. I should probably look for a job and move somewhere else when I can support myself." I didn't like the idea, not even slightly. I was so used to her now, I didn't want her to go. So I told her.

"I don't want you to go. Who's going to feed me?" She laughed.

"I thought you hired Gail for that purpose."

"Yeah, but she's not here. Do you want me to starve, Anastasia?" I didn't see her face, but somehow I knew she was rolling her eyes at me.

"No, I don't want you to starve."

"Then you shouldn't leave me on my own."

"I'm limiting you, Christian."

"What? No. What are you limiting?"

"Why don't you have a submissive now?" I was one hundred percent sure she was blushing right then. I sighed but started to wonder why, at the same time. I could get a submissive. I remember the sexual need I felt right before I found Anastasia, but it was funny, I didn't think about that for weeks. Having a submissive didn't feel right now because I liked spending my weekends with Anastasia instead.

"I didn't have a submissive before you came along, Anastasia. It's not about you. I can live without a submissive. It's okay." She turned and looked at me with those blue eyes, searching for my soul yet again. She did this frequently, whenever she wanted to see if I was telling the truth. Somehow, she understood every time. Not that I lie to her usually, but she understood. I smiled and pulled her to my lap. I brushed her hair from her face and cupped her soft cheek.

"Don't think about moving out, okay? I'm glad to have you here with me." She snorted.

"Yeah, sure. I'd be happy to have someone invade my living space or eat my food or act like a needy child most of the time." She said, gesturing to our current seating arrangement. I pulled her closer to me and hugged her.

"But I'm happy to have someone greet me when I come home from a busy day and erase all of my tension with a big smile. I'm happy to have someone share my opinions about the stupid blonde girl on TV. I'm happy to have someone keep my nightmares away." She blushed at the mention of our sleeping arrangements. We were sleeping together in my bed since the day she told me about her past. We tried to sleep separately for a few nights, but it always ended up with her screaming or me waking up in sweat. Surprisingly, I really liked sleeping with her. I liked the feeling of her soft body and delicate curves against mine. I loved her warmth.

And she was the only thing that could keep my nightmares away, no drug or drink or medicine did that before. I was kind of grateful that I was the one to keep her nightmares away, even though I wish she didn't have nightmares at all. I smiled at her and kept brushing my knuckles across her cheek. She was so beautiful that I didn't understand how didn't I see that when I first saw her. She was beautiful when she didn't even notice me watching her. She was beautiful when she blushed like crazy.

I don't know what she saw in my face, but she suddenly sat up and straightened her shoulders.

"Christian, does your offer still stand?"

"For what?"

"You said that we could go and see Ray. Can we still do that?" I didn't even try to contain the wide smile spreading across my face. She wanted to see her father, and I knew that was a huge step for her. Finally. And God knows I wanted to ease the old man's fears for his daughter. I nodded at her before I forgot how to do so. I knew that Raymond Steele was probably at police station as he was every Saturday, according to Taylor, but Anastasia didn't know that.

"Tell me your surname, Blue. Taylor could easily find him." She looked at me with a pleading look in her eyes.

"His name is Raymond Steele. Will you come with me, Christian? I'm not sure how he'll react, and I'm scared."

"Of course, I'll come if you want. If you think you should face your dad on your own, I'll stand out of the way, too." She shook her head.

"No. I wouldn't have said a word with Flynn if you weren't with me today. You gave me strength I needed. You are my rock." She blushed again, but there was nothing for her to be embarrassed about. This was one of the most flattering things I've heard in my life. It felt like the world's biggest accomplishment. I wanted to kiss her right then, her smiling lips were calling to me, but she didn't need a distraction in her life. She was right, she needed to sort her life out, but moving out wasn't an option. Not that an angel like herself needed someone like me. She deserved someone better. Not a dominant who was constantly going to remind her the man who destroyed her dreams and broke her wings. Not me, a man who wants a woman only to beat her and fuck her senseless. She needed a Prince Charming. And that wasn't me.

That would never be me.

"Miss Steele, huh?" I said, wanting to distract myself because I didn't like the way I thought about myself. Yes, I was a dominant, but who said that it was a bad thing? It just was not for everyone. Definitely not for Anastasia. She nodded and laughed.

"I always loved Ray's surname. My mother's is too ordinary."

"Are your parents divorced?"

"Ray is not my biological father." She said and leaned her head into my chest. She was listening to my heartbeat, which she claimed calmed her down. "My real father died when I was born and my mother married Ray. He is everything I could want from a father. He gave me his surname and a house when my own mother didn't want me." Ah, that was the reason why she never talked about her mother.

"What happened?" I asked quietly, not wanting to push her. She sighed and hugged me tighter.

"Her third husband was cheating on her. I saw him making out with another woman in his car one day and told my mother. But she didn't believe me and claimed that I was just trying to break up her marriage. She kicked me out when I insisted. I had nowhere to go, so I went to Ray. He didn't even question how long was I going to stay, he gave me a home and accepted me. Later, my mother figured out that I was right and divorced him, but not even once did she try to contact me. I don't blame her though. I'm not someone who is hard to leave behind." I hugged her tighter this time. It was so unfair that someone so innocent had to go through so much. Where was that God who awarded the ones who deserved it? Apparently he didn't care much about this beautiful innocent girl, just like he didn't care about me.

"I couldn't." I said.

"What?"

"I couldn't leave you behind when I saw you. Then, you mustn't be that easy to leave behind, right?" She didn't answer but sighed and leaned away from me.

"I'm glad you couldn't."

"Me, too." We looked into each other's eyes until Ross's call about some agreement dragged me forcefully into my office.

* * *

 **Hi everyone!**

 **I want to thank you all for your support and amazing reviews, I'm really glad you all like my story.**

 **It looks like everyone wants Anastasia and Ray to re-unite so who am I to say no? They are probably going to see each other in the next chapter or the one after that. I hope it meets your expections.**

 **Please review, it makes me really happy to hear your reactions and thoughts about Salted Wound.**

 **Special thanks to FannieForever15, I don't know what would I do without her.**

 **-Alina**


	10. Chapter 10: Reunion and Farewell

**Chapter 10:** **Reunion and Farewell**

I felt my heart beating in my chest faster and faster as Taylor pulled up to the familiar house I thought I'd never get to see again. It looked a little different of course, given the past four years I'd spent away, but I expected it to look much more different than it actually did. I mean, I thought Ray would at least change the color of the house, but no, it was still the same bright yellow color I insisted on when I was 15. He used to say he'd change it as soon as I moved out, but apparently that didn't actually happen. The difference that stood out to me the most was the flowers outside that weren't there anymore; Ray really loved gardening, and we used to have colorful flowers in front of the house. I used to complain all the time because I was supposed to water them when Ray was on duty, which was often, and I always hating doing it. What I wouldn't give now, though, for the rainbow of flora to be there.

I tried to take a deep breath through a tightened throat, and Christian's fingers caressed mine softly.

"I don't know what to say to him," I admitted in a nearly inaudible voice, but I knew he'd hear me. He always did. Before I know it, his lips were pressing a tender kiss to the back of my hand to give me strength and encouragement.

"You'll know when you see him, Blue," he promises.

"Are you sure he's not abroad somewhere?" He exchanged a look with Taylor in the mirror before answering me.

"He's here, Anastasia. No more stalling. Now, let's go. Didn't he wait long enough?" I nodded reluctantly but made no attempt to get out until he opened my door and held his hand out for me to take. I took it while trying to get my heart rate back to normal. Ray wouldn't kick me out like my mother once did, but I also knew he wouldn't accept me with open arms; I'd made a lot of mistakes then disappeared for years. I'm sure that's not something someone can just forget. He was going to be angry with me. Probably furious, I didn't know for sure. Knowing for sure he was going to be upset with me didn't scare me as much as not knowing the extent of said anger did.

Slowly, we walked hand in hand towards the front door while the image of me leaving this house four years ago plays over and over again in my mind, like it's on a tape. Pause, rewind, play. Pause, rewind, play. Not only could I remember walking out that day, I could distinctly recall the emotions that were running through me: anxiety but also happiness. At that time, though, I thought I'd return after three months, hand in hand with him and happily married. Ray was going to be mad, of course, but would forgive us after he saw how happy I was with him. I was going to graduate and after we were going to open a publishing house together.

Only now do I know how wrong I actually was.

Bringing me back to the now, Christian caressed my back in circles as we approached the house.

"It's going to be okay, Blue. Take a step forward." I nodded, trying to find strength in his voice. _He's here_ , I reminded myself. He'll take you home even if Ray kicks you out as soon as he sees you. I raised my trembling hand to door and knocked. It opened after only a few seconds, and I found myself staring, frozen, and the sight before me.

What happened to my father? Where was that big, strong soldier I had grown to love so dearly? The man standing before me was everything but. He had lost weight, a significant amount of weight. His shoulders slumped, deep, dark bags under his eyes. He gasped out loud when he saw me. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. His eyes widened, full of surprise and… what, fear?

"Annie?" Tears filled my eyes at the mention of my name he'd always called me by. His voice was so vulnerable, so weak. I felt physical pain and the sound of his fragile vocals. He raised his hand but stopped before touching me, like he was trying to make sure I was real. I couldn't stand anymore, and I threw myself at him, my small arms wrapping around his neck. He immediately hugged me back, and his shoulders started to shake. I could hear his sobs even though I was shaking with my own.

"Daddy," I managed to say between my tears. His appearance might've changed, but his smell was the same. He still smelled like my father, like my home. He hugged me tighter. I don't know how much time passed while we held each other and cried, but Ray let me go first before holding my head between his hands, his eyes searching mine.

"Annie," he uttered again, and his eyes fixed on the nearly faded scar on my head. He lightly touched it. "What happened?" I shook my head; I didn't want to tell him, but I knew I would have to. His attention turned to something behind me as his gaze locked on something. His arms held me protectively.

 _Christian_. I suddenly remembered his presence and turned to him. He was watching us with a soft, almost fond smile on his face.

"Who are you?" Ray asked him while pulling me behind him, towards the house. Christian extended his hand to him.

"Christian Grey, sir." Ray looked at his hand and raised an eyebrow.

"And?"

"Calm down, dad," I said. "Christian is just helping me. He's not a bad guy."

"Helping you with what, Ana?"

"I'll tell you, I promise, but how about we go inside." He nodded but still didn't take Christian's hand. I smiled apologetically, and he returned my smile while we made our way inside. Ray went straight to the kitchen, taking a tissue to wipe his eyes. My father hated to look weak in front of other people, and given the fact he didn't like Christian's presence, he probably felt even more uncomfortable with the situation. I wiped my own face with the hem of my t-shirt. Christian brushed a section of hair from my face and smiled.

"I told you." I would have slapped his handsome yet smug face if he wasn't so good to me. I rolled my eyes but couldn't help but smile. Ray missed me and somehow still loved me. The rest would get better from there, I knew it.

"Ana?" My father's sharp voice broke us apart. He was pointing at the couch, so I sat down beside Christian and Ray sat in front of us, but he sat on the edge so his knees were touching mine.

"I think you have some explaining to do," he said softly. "Where have you been, Anastasia? It's been four years! I looked everywhere, I searched for you. All I had was a note saying that you are running away with that bastard!" I cringed away, I didn't want to remember him. I took a deep breath.

"You were right about him, dad. I shouldn't have trusted him."

"So you really went with him then left him like he told the police?" Disappointment evident in his voice. Left him? I would have laughed at his lies if I weren't an emotional wreck. He told the police I left, and they just believed him like that?

"I went with him, dad. But I thought I was going to marry with him and have a happily ever after. He… he made me sign a contract. It held me with him for four years." I didn't want him to know the things he's done to me. It was so wrong, so dirty… I was ashamed to tell my father how stupid I was. I waited for him to say "I told you so." But it never came. He just closed his eyes and took a few deep breaths. I closed my eyes, too, my fingers clutching the hem of my t-shirt tightly. He was going to ask for details. I knew he was. I felt my breath quicken but there was nothing I could do. How could I tell Ray the things he had done to me? Suddenly, I was leaning into a newly familiar chest and listening to a heartbeat I now knew so well.

"Calm down, Blue." His soft voice washed away all the fear consuming my head, I concentrated on his heart beat, as usual, and I started to calm down. "I'm here," he assured me, "and your father is here now, too." I nodded and lifted myself off his chest to see the surprised look in my father's eyes. The sharp look he was giving Christian was softer. He took a deep breath. I could see the war in his head; he was fighting with himself to find the right thing to say.

"And where do you fit in this story?" He looked at Christian expectantly. He looked as surprised as I was to see my father addressing him. He cleared his throat.

"I found Anastasia on a street." Sweet Christian, I thought with a smile. He didn't tell my father he found his daughter in a brothel. Streets were the lesser of two evils.

"He took me to his home, dad," I took over. Christian had faced enough of my demons. He wasn't going to be the one to tell my father what we were doing. "He feeds me and takes care of me. I live with him now."

"It's unnecessary now that you're home." I looked at Christian, panicked. Shit. I didn't think of that before. Of course my dad was going to want me to come back. But how could I? I couldn't sleep without Christian beside me, and I had a lot to work out. Christian didn't look much different than me. I remembered our talk about me moving out. He wanted me there.

"Dad," I said softly. "I don't think that is a good idea." He looked surprised.

"Why not? Why would you want to stay with a stranger? You don't even know what he's going to want from you!" I could see him getting angry.

"I don't expect anything from Anastasia," Christian amended, unimpressed. His face morphed into his "work face," as I call it. He often took on this mask when he was in his office or talking to his colleagues. He was still Christian, but more serious, more indifferent and confident. I'd fall for it if I didn't saw the longing in his eyes when he talks about his family.

"I only want her to be happy and healthy. That's all. Is it too different from what do you want?"

"No but-"

"Then you should let her stay with me a little more. Can't you see how scared she is now? She didn't come here because she needs somewhere to stay, she's here because she needs her father."

"I think my daughter is able to talk for herself!"

"She did, sir. But you're too caught up in your opinions about me that you missed it." I could see they were both heating up, but Christian was right. I didn't want to stay here. However, I understood my father, too. He lost me to a man for four years, and it was natural for him to want to keep me with him. Besides, the voice in my head was pushing me further by saying that Christian did enough for me. I should let him go. I needed to let him go. I sighed and stood up.

"Christian, can I talk to you for a second?" He looked surprised but nodded anyway and followed me to the porch.

"Christian." I took a deep breath. "I think I should stay here." His face looked so betrayed, and I felt bad right away. He composed himself quickly and nodded, his work face back again. I felt something crumple in my stomach. It felt wrong to let him go like that. I didn't want to let him go.

"Are you sure?" he asked. I nodded and he sighed. He pulled at his hair and looked around for a few moments before quickly retrieving his phone from his pocket and typing something.

"But you're going to keep up on your sessions with Flynn. Understood?" I nodded, and tears sprang to my eyes once more. He talked like he wasn't going to see me again. Like it was a good bye.

"Can't you come by?" I asked between my tears. "Or can't I visit you sometimes?" He looked surprised but recovered quickly and nodded.

"Of course, Anastasia. I just thought-" He shook his head to himself and wiped the tears off my cheeks. I leaned into his hand.

"I don't want to lose you," I murmured. I didn't. I never felt as at ease than when I was around him. Nobody ever saw my ugly side and made me feel better about myself like he did. I wasn't ready to let this beautiful, broken man go. I hugged his waist and breathed him in, and he returned my hug and held me tight for a few moments.

He got a business card out of his pocket and wrote his number on the back of them.

"Call me, Blue. Whenever you want, whatever you need. Okay?" I nodded. He leaned and kissed my cheek softly. Like I was a delicate little thing.

"Good bye, Anastasia."

"Good bye, Christian. Thank you." He nodded and walked over to Taylor. That man still scared me, so I turned away and went inside quickly.

My dad was looking at me like he was trying to solve a math problem when I sat beside him on the couch.

"What?" I said. "I told him I'll stay with you."

"You were hugging him, I watched you from the window." He admitted. "It didn't look like he is just a stranger."

"He isn't, Dad." I smiled to myself. "Not anymore. He is so generous and considerate… he did everything he could so that I could get better. He is making me see his shrink so that I could fix my mind up. He is not a bad man."

"Like you knew before." I hang my head, ashamed. He was right. What did I know? I thought he was a good man when my father didn't like him. Maybe Christian was like him? A part of me was scolding myself for thinking that. I heard him sigh and pull me to his side.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't throw it in your face like that. And I'm being a father right now." He chuckled. "I didn't get bad vibes from him at all." I looked at him, surprised.

"It didn't look like that when you refused to take the poor man's hand." He threw his head back and laughed.

"I missed you a lot, Anastasia. A lot."

"I missed you, too, Dad. A lot." He sat there, holding each other until Dad's hunger became unbearable. It felt nice to be somewhere familiar again. I knew this couch. I knew this old TV and this small but warm kitchen. However, I couldn't help feeling something was missing.

Who was I kidding? _Someone_ was missing.

* * *

 **Sooo, here's the reunion you were all waiting for!**

 **I know the ending wasn't what you expected but I assure you, it's not going to be a long separation. *winks***

 **I don't like writing from Anastasia's POV usually but I need to use her and Christian both in the few upcoming chapters so I'm sorry for those who don't enjoy Ana's POV.**

 **The biggest thanks are going to my sweet beta, my dearest** **FannieForever15.**

 **Thank you all for your reviews, I didn't have the chance to reply them all but the definetely brighten my day so please review!**

 **-Alina**


	11. Chapter 11: Heartbeat

**Chapter 11: Heartbeat**

There was a very disturbing silence between Ray and me during diner. We both didn't know what to talk and couldn't make a conversation. I'm also sure that my looking at the clock in every two minutes didn't help his tension but I couldn't help but wonder if Christian eat his diner. It was his habit to drift away in his office while working and someone needed to remind him to eat, it was usually Gail, then me but he was on his own now. Did he forget to eat? Ray sighed and leaned into his hands standing on the table. I could see he was struggling but he has never been a parent shows his emotions, he was always discreet. There was no way of knowing what he was thinking unless he told me.

"What's wrong dad?" He shook his head and tried to smile but his face was something between angry and sad.

"I'm really happy you're here Ana."

"But?"

"But…It's going to take some time to get used to it again." I nodded. Of course I knew it, I never expected things to go back how they were four years ago.

"I know." I didn't know what else to say. Every time I tried to ask something to him, I knew that the conversation is going to turn back my missing four years and I wasn't ready to talk about them with Ray. Indeed, I never think I will. He stood up and come towards me, he kissed my forehead.

"Your room is like you left. I didn't change anything, only get inside to clean up."

"Okay." My voice was small because I couldn't manage to swallow the lump in my throat when he came closer to me. My dad was kind of scary, too now. And it terrified me. How could I keep going when I was afraid of my own father? I understood why I was afraid of Taylor and the other redhead man in Christian's security room. They were both giant men like Geoffrey. Even remembering him made me shiver. But getting afraid of Ray? I shouldn't be afraid of him even though he is a big man like others. He left the room and went upstairs when I let the tears fall.

In that moment, I wanted to hear Christian's voice more than anything. So I went and dialed the number he wrote behind his card with home phone. It didn't even ring before he answered.

"Blue?" I closed my eyes in relief, a few more tears fell. It was like years passed since I heard him even though it was only a few hours.

"Hi." I managed to talk. Of course, he understood me.

"Why are you crying? Is something wrong?"

"No no." I said, laughing at my fucked up fears. "It's been an emotional day, that's all. I just wanted to hear your voice." I heard him sigh, he didn't believe me but he didn't push. "Did you eat dinner?" I asked. "You usually forget when you're working."

"Yes." He chuckled. "I wasn't working, actually."

"What are you doing then?"

"I was debating if calling you was an option." He sounded so defeated for some reason but it didn't stop me from blushing. He missed me, too.

"I think it was."

"Really? I thought you would want some bonding time with your father." I sighed.

"We are tense now. The dinner was so awkward Christian. We both don't know what to do."

"It's normal, Blue. He didn't see you for four years. Give man a little time." I nodded, I already knew that but it was still awkward.

"What are you doing instead at looking at the phone?" I asked, getting comfortable on the couch. His voice was so relaxing, I closed my eyes.

"Nothing, I guess. I came home and tried to work some time and eat dinner. And I was watching the phone for half an hour, I guess." Annoyance was clear in his voice and I giggled.

"Are you really annoyed with yourself that much?"

"Yes!" He exclaimed. "I mean, it's been just a few hours Anastasia. Not months." I laughed. It looks like I wasn't the only one.

"Well, I'm in the same page. I kept looking at the clock like an obsessive, wondering if you ate dinner."

"We're even, then?"

"I guess." I giggled again.

"Why don't you go out with Elliot?" I asked. He kept telling him he couldn't leave me at home on my own during the past weekends Elliot called and invited him to grab a drink. I knew he didn't felt worthy of his family but he needed to see how stupid he was.

"What?" He really sound surprised. I rolled my eyes and smiled, thinking how he would scowl like he did every time he saw me rolling my eyes.

"He kept calling the past two weekend and you always said you can't leave me on my own. Now you can go, call your brother."

"No, Anastasia I need to-"

"Work?" I interrupted. "Oh, I'm sorry I thought you said you have no work to do. I must have misheard." He sighed.

"You are an evil women." I laughed.

"Don't spend the night talking to me. Go out and drink that pink champagne." It was truly delicious. In fact, it was the only drink I liked so far. He chuckled.

"It's Bollinger Rose. And I don't think it's a manly drink to drink outside. I wouldn't want them to think I am gay."

"You mean more than they think already." I rolled my eyes again to his sexist comment. Pink was for girls, blue for boys. Yeah, sure.

He rewarded my ears with his rare laud laugh.

"Yeah, I guess you're right. I'll take the Bollinger then, Miss Steele." I giggled.

"Drink one for me, . I'll let you go now."

"Good night Anastasia. Take care."

"Goodnight Christian. Have fun." We ended the call and I went to my old room with a small smile on my face. I really hoped he have fun. He was always so tense and ready for fight… He needed to relax a little. I fell asleep with the thoughts of gray eyes and pink champagnes.

* * *

 _Master was mad again. I did everything he said but he was mad anyway. I shivered to the sensation of the cold rock wall against my bare back. I wasn't allowed to wear clothes inside. Master said I did anything to deserve them. But it was so cold…Mary said it was snowing outside and the rooms in the basement, the rooms I and Alicia stay, were so cold._

 _"_ _Stop moving!" He shouted again. I tried. I really tried but my body didn't listen to me, kept shivering. My hands were tied in front of me and the hot wax he melted into my inner thighs hurt so much. He pulled my braided hair, it was so long… Master said it made it easier to control me._

 _"_ _You are not going to listen me, huh? You little slut. You are never going to learn, will you? I'm very kind to you and yet you insist on making stupid things. Do you really think pretending to shiver will get you a blanket like the other one?!" His voice was so loud and he smelled like vodka while he shouted into my ear. I felt his warm breath in my cold skin. I didn't do it on purpose. I didn't even knew Alicia got a blanket. She was a good girl, than. If Geoffrey gave her a blanket. I wasn't. I knew. I didn't deserve one. I would tell master but I wasn't allowed to talk in the room until he told me to._

 _"_ _Maybe you need no kindness, bitch? It looks like you need something rougher." I couldn't control myself, my eyes shot into his scary blue eyes. He was going to call Geoffrey. He hurt me so much… Master got mad._

 _"_ _Oh! You have the courage to look at me now?!" I immediately lowered my gaze but it was too late. He already called Geoffrey. I closed my eyes. He was going to hurt me so much. I knew I deserved it. My body never listened to me. He hit my head and stood up, getting out of the room. I heard his footsteps and soon saw his dark boots first. I raised my gaze to his smirking face._

 _"_ _I heard you missed me Sugar." No. He had the buttplugs in his head. I shook my head furiously. It hurt so much… My behind bleed a lot and I couldn't hold my toilet last time. Master laughed a lot to me. Slaves have no shame, he says but I was ashamed. I tried to get away but he grabbed my shoulder and lowered his hand, cupping my breast and squeezing it hard. I tried to scream but it only made him smirk more._

 _"_ _I know you like it, Sugar. But don't be so obvious, Sir is going get mad." I scream and-_

"Anastasia!" Big hands kept grabbing my shoulders, it didn't matter how hard I scream or try to get away. He never let me get away. Never. I opened my closed eyes and tried to go to my dark corner. It was cold but it was safe. I fell into hard floor. Was I somewhere up? I didn't notice but Geoffrey kept getting closer to me. I tried to move fast, tried to hold into the cloth but couldn't, something fell down.

"Please." I begged. "Body doesn't listens to this one. Please don't. This one is sorry Sir, please." He kept getting closer and I tried to move faster to my corner, I held onto the desk and stood up. It was cold, so cold.

"Anastasia! I'm not going to touch you! Stop!" I raised my head and looked into Geoffrey. Not touch me? How is he going to punish me then? I have been bad. But he really wasn't moving now. He raised his hands and took a few steps back.

"I'm not going to hurt you, please calm down." There were tears on his face. I was confused. Why was he crying? He usually laughed or got mad.

"Is it okay?" I shook my head. He was still so close. He was still going to hurt me but no. He took more steps towards back. He was nearly beside the door. My eyes caught the purple painting of the wall. Then the white bookshelves on the wall beside me. There was no books on the basement. I looked at Geoffrey again. He wasn't Geoffrey. He was Ray. My dad. He came to get me? But why was he crying? He opened his mouth but his voice wasn't his.

 _"_ _Be careful, Sugar. We don't want you to die, do we?"_ And he laughed. But he wasn't laughing, he was crying. No. Geoffrey was laughing but Ray was crying. I didn't understand. Voices...Ray…Geoffrey…Soon everything went black.

* * *

I heard someone calling my name but my eyelids were heavy that I couldn't manage to lift them up. Then I heard a door closed, I was somewhere hot. I was aware of familiar arms holding me to a warm chest and a heartbeat I knew too well. I subconsciously tried to hold on to that beat, I raised my hand and now it was beating under my hand.

"Christian?" I managed to say, what was he doing here? My dad would get crazy if he saw him holding me.

"Sshh." He said, his fingers brushing my hair. "You're safe, sleep." I tried to answer him but once again all I see was dark.

* * *

I opened my eyes and took a look around. I remembered some bits and pieces but I couldn't exactly remembered what happened or where I was. It looked like a hospital. A very nice hospital, actually. The room was big, the walls were a soft cream color. There was a few chairs leaning to the opposite wall. There was a brown couch on the side of my bed. I frowned. I didn't know why I was in a hospital but I knew Ray couldn't afford a hospital like that.

"Did you finish counting the room's whereabouts?" An amused voice said beside me. I turned around to find another bed seated beside my bed and there was a blonde girl sitting, leaned into the wall. She was smiling but there was curiosity in her face. I frowned and nodded.

"Are you okay?" She said, concerned now. "You can push the red button if you want nurses to come?" I shook my head, I wanted to remember why I was here. There was a oft throbbing in my head and my face hurt a lot. But I couldn't find any other reason to came here. I sat and leaned into the headrest. She smiled again.

"Hi." I said, my voice was harsh, like I was sick or something.

"Hi." She answered and held out her hand to me. "I'm Katherine. You can call me Kate, though." I tried to smile but my cheeks really hurt.

"I'm Anastasia, Ana for short."

"It's nice to meet you Ana. Now that I'm not a stranger, may I ask what are you doing with Christian Grey? Are you his girlfriend? Because he was really worried about you but it doesn't make sense because I thought he was gay." I looked at her, dumbfounded. Christian? Well, it explained the expensive hospital room I was in but I don't remember anything about him. And I knew for sure he wasn't gay.

"He isn't gay." I said. She raised an eyebrow.

"How do you know?"

"I asked him." She opened her green eyes in surprise.

"YOU ASKED CHRISTIAN GREY IF HE WAS GAY?!" I was surprised by her outburst but nodded anyway. And she suddenly started to laugh. I couldn't help the smile took over my hurting face, she was so carefree… She pointed a finger at me.

"I liked you Ana. You are really something else." I blushed immediately but we were interrupted by someone getting inside. Grace. I was surprised to see her but smiled anyway, she smiled softly to both of us but there was a sadness in her face. She came and sat beside me to the bed.

"Hi Anastasia. How are you feeling?"

"Umm my head and my face hurts a little bit but it's okay. Do you know what am I doing here Grace? Why did Ray brought me here?"

"What do you remember last?"

"I was talking to Christian and then told him to go outside with Elliot. Then I went to bed."

"Well, as I heard, you had a nightmare. Your dad came to wake you up but you had a hard time to understand your surroundings."

"What do you mean?" I asked, I always had nightmares. Christian used to wake me up and calm me. Sure, dad could do that, too?

"Umm…" She hesitated. "I think you thought your dad was someone in your dream and tried to get away." I raised my hand to my mouth. Geoffrey. I thought dad looked him before going to sleep. How could I think he was Geoffrey? Tears started to fall and Grace pulled me to her arms quickly.

"Sshh. He isn't mad at you sweet girl. Calm down. He just didn't know what to do."

"What happened?" I urged her to continue between my sobs. She caressed my hair and sighed.

"He tried to stop you but you pulled something and broke some bottles in your desk on your way. Then he get away from you, hoping you will calm down. And when you collapsed into the glass pieces, he couldn't get you fast. You hit your head to the corner of your desk and the glasses cut your face a little." Ray… I couldn't imagine how he was feeling. I knew he would blame himself for not catching me sooner. Or waking me up sooner. Honestly, I didn't even remembered what I saw in my dream but the scene Grace described was terrible. She caressed my shoulders and my hair until I calmed down. I tried to wipe my tears but as soon as my fingers contacted my cheeks I winced. It hurt. She pulled a white, cotton handkerchief from her pocket and wiped my tears gently without touching the cuts.

"Kate said Christian was here." I asked. She smiled sadly.

"He was keeping tabs on you, in case something happened, you know. And someone called him to inform that you have been admitted to hospital. He got to the public hospital your dad admitted you, made a huge scene with Taylor and Elliot on his side. Got you and bring you to me. End of the story." She smiled but I felt so bad. A nightmare ruined so many people's night! It wasn't fair to none of them.

"I'm sorry Grace." I said.

"Oh,no my pretty girl, no. It's not your fault. It's just, you are really important to Christian and he would never believe that you're okay until I said so. And besides, I already pulled his ears and send him downstairs so that he didn't disturb you."

"He wanted to stay here in the night but one of the nurses drag him outside." Kate said in a soft voice and giggled. Grace and I both looked at her and Grace giggled too.

"Yeah, I heard about that."

"Night?" I said. "What time is it now?"

"It's 2 pm." Kate said. "You missed lunch. It was very good." She really sound upset. I smiled again but God, my cheeks hurt so much…

"It's fine." I said. "I'm not hungry."

"Oh,no little lady. I'm not going to let you sit here hungry. In fact, I'm going to lead this important duty to my son who is probably shouting at the innocent hospital workers right now. Are you okay?" I nodded and squeeze her hand. Christian was so lucky to have a mother like her and yet he spent his youth in a bubble… It was sad. Grace smiled at both me and Kate before getting outside. I sighed.

"I'm sure I look awful." I mutter to myself. Kate laughed.

"Don't worry, I don't think he would mind a few cuts and bits. He was like a mad man, shouting at people and his mother to learn what exactly wrong with you. And he got really upset when everyone calmed down and he sat beside you. He sat here for hours and hold your hand." I blushed but couldn't help the satisfaction fill my chest. He was here. Christian cared about me and he was here. I suddenly noticed the cast in her feet.

"What happened to you?" I asked.

"I was painting the walls of my new house with my brother and that son of a bitch thought it was funny to kick the stairs a little." She made quotation marks in the air in her last two words. "So, I broke my ankle and here I am."

"I'm sorry Kate." I said sincerely. Her brother's sense of humor looked unbearable. "I hope you get well soon."

"Nah." She said, getting more comfortable between the sheets. "They need to put a platinum into my ankle so I'll be there for a few long weeks. You are lucky though. I heard tell Christian Grey that you'll probably get out in a few hours after you woke up." I tried to hide my relief but honestly, I hated hospitals and I was more sad now that she was stuck here for weeks.

"Yeah." I said. "I guess I'm a little luckier than you." She rolled her eyes but suddenly the door burst open and here was a Christian Grey with a blue shirt, sleeves rolled into his elbows, his hair pointing everywhere, probably because he kept digging his hands into them. Her grey eyes were full of fear and tiredness. He took a deep breath when he saw me and took a few quick strides to sat beside me like Grace did. He raised his hands but stopped midway and lowered them again. I hold onto his hands while he squeezed mine inside his.

"Are you okay Anastasia?" His voice was harsh like mine. I nodded and raise one of my hands to caress his cheeks.

"I'm okay, calm down."

"I should be the one to calm you down." He laughed humorlessly. But I couldn't stand the distance between us. I already missed him but after all these shit happen, I didn't think I would find peace somewhere other than his arms. He hugged me hard and inhaled slowly.

"You scared me, Blue." He said slowly. "I thought I lost you when I saw you lying like that." I knew it was a big deal for him. To confess he was afraid like that. So I tried to smooth his hair with my fingers.

"I'm sorry to scare you. I didn't mean to." He leaned in my arms and leaned his head into my chest. Listening to my heartbeat.

"It's your turn." He said quietly. "Tell your heartbeat to calm me down." I laughed and urged him to lie down beside me. He looked tired and from what I gathered, he didn't sleep last night at all. So he needed sleep. He didn't protest and kicked his shoes without opening his eyes, which earned him a giggle from Kate. He drifted into sleep leaned into my chest. I caressed his cheeks and hair.

"That's when I'll marry." Kate said quietly after a few minutes.

"What?"

"I used to think marriage is stupid and only makes women slaves to men. But I changed my now. I'll marry when I find a man who looks at me the way he looks at you." I immediately blush. She has mistaken worry and care with love. It was sure Christian and I cared for each other but she must set higher goals. She must marry a man loves her more than anything in this world. She deserved it.

"You should find someone who is going to put you into the center of their universe." I said. She laughed.

"That's what I'm talking about. You two look at each other like rest of the world don't exist. I want exactly that." I shook my head but didn't comment further until there was a soft knock on the door.

"Mr. Grey." A familiar voice said. Taylor.

"Come in, ." I said quietly. I didn't felt less uncomfortable around him but I'd wake Christian up if it was something important. He opened quietly and get a few steps towards me. I tensed but tried not to show it. Apparently failed because he stopped. He looked at Christian at first, a small smile threatening in his lips but then he watched me carefully. There was a concern in his eyes I didn't saw before. I blushed under his careful gaze. He cleared his throat.

"Miss Steele, told me to go and get you some food. Is there anything particularly you want?" I blushed more, I wasn't his responsibility or duty.

"You don't have to, thank you."

"Please tell me, Miss Steele. I'm going to go anyway." He was determined.

"Tomato soup will be fine . Thank you." He frowned.

"You can't be full with just a soup." I rolled my eyes. Apparently, it wasn't only Christian who made a big deal about my nutrition.

"Anything is fine, Mr. Taylor." He nodded.

"Just Taylor is okay, too Miss Steele." I nodded as he got out but I was still uncomfortable around him and I didn't want to communicate him as long as I don't have to.

Suddenly I wondered where Ray was and immediately feel guilty for not thinking about him before. Was he still here? Or did he go home? I shook my head and focused on the copper, silky hair between my fingers and a soft breathing on my chest.

* * *

 **Hello everybody!**

 **This chapter gave me a really hard time because I didn't know how to express Anastasia's feelings during and after the nightmare scene. I'm still not sure if I managed, did that scene and afterwards suck? Neutreal? Positive? Please tell me what do you all think. Of course your opinions are always important to me, but this chapter has a special meaning for me so I'd extra love reviews!**

 **-Alina**


	12. Chapter 12: Waiting

**Chapter 12: Waiting**

I was leaning into a familiar chest when I woke up. Her heart was beating steadily under her soft skin and her feminine scent I really loved. Someone was giggling but I was sure it wasn't Anastasia.

"He was so handsome Ana, you need to give him my number." Her chest shook while she laughed at the girl she had to share her room. I frowned, I tried my best to make them place her a private room but apparently, they were all occupied. I wanted Anastasia to have her privacy when she woke up but my mother convinced me to leave people alone. I made a mental note to make hospital manager now all about this.

"Even I don't have your number, Kate." I knew she was rolling her eyes even though I can't see her. Her soft fingers were playing with my hair, I remembered mom doing that all the time when I was a kid. It was the only place in my body I let her touch at first. "But I'm sure Elliot liked you, too. " Elliot? It looks like that bastard managed to pick up chicks even in a hospital. I opened my eyes and sat up, my back hurt a little but I was glad the exhaustion was gone, finally. Kind blue eyes find mine immediately.

"Hi." She said, smiling and trying to comb my hair a little.

"Hi. How long was I sleeping?"

"Not much just half an hour or something." I nodded, trying to find a way to learn if she was okay. I was so scared of losing her or losing all the progress we made mentally when I see her blubbering father. Taylor drove him to his home sometime last night but I'm nearly sure he didn't sleep for a minute, like me. We were too much worried about her to sleep but I knew witnessing her night terrors scared the shit out of that man. I didn't understand what triggered her like that, though. The most she did was screaming in her nightmares even when the times I was nothing but a stranger to her. It didn't make sense for her to go somewhere she lived for years and her father but have such a deep nightmare.

"I'm okay, Christian." She did it again, she saw through me. She caressed my cheek. I nodded but I wanted to know about her nightmare, of course when we were on our own.

"What was that talk about Elliot?" I asked while trying to straighten my hair little bit. The blonde giggled while Anastasia rolled her eyes but blushed anyway.

"Kate here-" She pointed a finger to the girl who's smiling sheepishly, "liked Elliot a lot when he came to see if I was okay and she was asking for his number." I frowned, I didn't even hear Elliot when he came here, but I shouldn't be surprised I guess. He stayed in the hospital all night despite I told him he should go and enjoy the rest of the night. He said he was worried about Anastasia, too which irritated me. I mean, he only saw her once why would he be worried?

"You are Christian Grey, right?" I turned to the girl, she was holding her hand out to me with a smug smile on her face. I hardly resisted the urge to roll my eyes, she was probably thinking that she could be "friends" with Anastasia so that she can be in contact with me. _Yeah, in your dreams, lady_. But I nodded and shook her hand anyway.

"Katherine Kavanagh but you can call me Kate." Kavanagh?

"Kavanagh Media?" I asked and she immediately nodded and smiled proudly. Oh, then she didn't need my resources, as far as I know Kavanaghs were pretty wealthy themselves. We were interrupted by a strong knock on the door and Taylor's unmarked face appeared, carrying a small bag. He wordlessly handed out the bag to Anastasia and nodded at me.

"Thank you, Taylor." Her voice was small but even I could hear the gratitude in her voice. He nodded.

"You're welcome, Miss Steele. Please let me know if you want anything else." And he left. There was a strong tomato smell coming from the bag I wanted to slap my forehead, of course, she missed the lunch and breakfast today, she needed to be fed. I stood up and pulled the tray standing beside her bed so that she can eat properly. She smiled at me and pulled a container filled with tomato soup and two sandwiches. I examined her face while she was eating silently. The cuts weren't too deep according to my mother but they still looked bad. I tried to swallow the bulge in my throat and silence the voice in my head scolding me. It was right, though. I didn't have anything to do with her past scars but these were my fault. I shouldn't have left her alone with Ray, I knew she had nightmares. Never this bad but she had them anyway and I was the only one who can stop them. I knew that but I let her go anyway.

"Christian, stop." Her whisper cut my thoughts and looked at her bright blue eyes, full with determination.

"Stop what?" I looked at her in confusion. She sighed and caressed my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into her touch, it always amazed me, how easy she could make the tension go away with a simple touch or a word.

"Stop blaming yourself. I wanted to stay with my father. I thought I was okay."

"I shouldn't have let you go." I murmured, I wasn't comfortable with feeling Kate's gaze on us. This was exactly why I wanted a private room for her.

"And keep me against my word?"

"No, but-"

"But nothing." Her voice was sharp and soft at the same time. "Stop blaming yourself. Did you eat?" I nodded, Elliot insisted me to eat lunch with him and my mother.

"Good." I watched her like a hawk until she finished eating and smiled sweetly to me.

"Did you drink that pink champagne for me?" I laughed.

"Yes, I did. Elliot teased me a lot but I drank anyway."

"You guys are really sexist." She stated.

"What? Why is that?"

"I mean, why would a drink mean you're gay just because of its pink? It's really stupid and sexist."

"Blue is for the boys and pink is for the girls, baby." She raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, then you don't drink beer, wine, and other drinks?"

"Of course, we do.

"But they're not blue?"

"No, but that doesn't mean it's not for the boys."

"Then why pink does?" I sighed. Truthfully, I didn't have an answer for that and from the smug smile on her face, she knew it. I raised my hands above my hand.

"Alright, Blue. You win." She giggled and I couldn't help the smile spreading my face. I really missed her. Suddenly, she looked nervous and started to play with the sleeves of her hospital gown.

"Christian, can I come back again? I don't think I can stay with Ray."

"Of course." I held her delicate hands between mine. "I already assumed you would." She relaxed a little but bite her lip.

"Where is Ray?"

"Taylor drove him back last night." She nodded. "But I need to call him and inform that you're okay and you'll be coming with me."

"It'd be better if I explain him. From what I heard from Grace, last night must be hard on him."

"What do you mean? You don't remember what happened?" She shook her head, tears filling her beautiful blue eyes. I pulled her to my chest again.

"Shhh. It's okay. Sometimes our brain keeps some memories from us so that it can protect us. There is a reason why you don't remember. Your dad was shaken up, of course, I assume it wouldn't be easy to see his only daughter being afraid of him, but he understood you need help last night."

"Did you talk to him?" I nodded. To my surprise, it hadn't been hard to send Raymond Steele to his home last night. He was distracted, sad and confused but he didn't protest when I send Taylor to take him home. I didn't expect him to go like that but I think he needed time to think about what happened. It must have been such a shock, to see your daughter being afraid of you like that and hurting herself when she's trying to stay away from you so I understood.

"He didn't know what made you scare like that, he asked me but I didn't know, either so there wasn't much we could do when we were waiting for you to wake up." I took out my phone and handed her, poor man needed to know his daughter was okay. She sighed and took the phone.

"Hey, dad." Her voice was full of hesitance.

"Yes, I'm okay. Grace- said that I can get out in a few hours but I'm not coming to your place." She looked surprised for a moment.

"Of course, dad. Please take care. By." She ended the call and frowned.

"What's wrong?" I asked and caressed her hands.

"He didn't even say something when I said I'll be coming with you. He just told me he wants me to call and not to leave him wordless." I hugged her again, trying to ignore the fact that I was trying to find stupid excuses to touch her.

"It's not that he gave up on you, Blue. He didn't give up on you for 4 years, he won't now. It's just, he's really scared and doesn't want you to feel uncomfortable again." She looked up at me with a pleading look.

"You're sure?" I nodded.

"Of course. Besides, you can meet him whenever you want now." She smiled sweetly.

"You're right."

"I'm always right." She snorted, causing me to chuckle.

* * *

We were welcomed with the familiar scent of homemade tomato soup when we entered the foyer, Anastasia didn't even have time to react when Gail ran to her and hugged her tight. I watched them two, surprised. Of course, I knew that they were spending most of the day together but I didn't know they were that close. Anastasia giggled and hugged her back.

"I was so worried!" She pulled a step back and examined the scars on her face before hugging her again. "My sweet Ana." I couldn't see her face but I was sure Anastasia was blushing.

"I'm okay, Gail." She said quietly. "When did you came back?"

"This morning. I didn't know where you were so I called Jason." She nodded.

"I made your tomato soup. Come, eat." I chuckled, it seemed that today was going to be all about tomato soup.

"Taylor already brought her a cup, Gail." She finally looked at me and an apologetic expression took over her face.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Grey. Welcome." I smiled at her.

"I understand, Ms. Jones. It's okay. I wouldn't see myself, too if Anastasia was standing beside me." I winked at her, making her blush to a very delicious shade of red. What the fuck was that, Grey? I scolded myself on my way to the bathroom. Yes, the previous night at the hospital made me realize that I'm feeling more for Anastasia but it didn't mean that I can flirt her shamelessly. Since when did I flirt? I sighed, I needed to make an appointment with Flynn as soon as possible. My feelings towards Anastasia was completely wrong. I shouldn't be watching her every move like a hawk, I shouldn't think about kissing her full lips whenever she talked. She wasn't my submissive but even more important thing was, she wasn't a submissive. How could I go and hand her a contract after all the things she's been through? Anger filled my soul again, I was going to find that bastard and made him pay for all the things he put her through. Maybe it was a good thing that Anastasia didn't remember what happened last night. The scene Ray described was brutal. Maybe it was better for her.

I quickly took a shower but she was quicker than me, she was freshly dressed and waiting for me on the couch with a comb in her hand and a beautiful smile on her face. She held out her comb and sat down between my legs like she always did. I loved this small routine. I combed her pretty brown locks after her evening showers. She smelled divine and I loved playing with her hair. I suddenly thought about braiding her hair now. I'd pull her head gently, exposing her milky neck to me. I'd caress her face and kiss her slowly. But then what? I couldn't even imagine myself taking her to the playroom and beating her. How could I hit her? And there was another reason why I mustn't feel anything towards her. I couldn't be her dominant, not after all the scars I saw in her body and soul. I couldn't stand her sitting on my playroom's floor. Not after I saw the way she threw herself to the floor every time she saw me when we first met. How could I forget her asking me to tell her everything she can do so that I won't get met? The answer was in front of me: I couldn't.

"Christian?" She turned to me. "What's wrong?" I shook my head no and tried to ignore the faint ache in my chest and smile. But of course, I couldn't fool her. She sighed and stand up, and sat down on my lap. Her small fingers caressed my forehead.

"What's going on here?" I closed my eyes and inhaled her feminine, floral scent. I should let her go. The longer she stay here, the longer I would get attached to her. And it was going to more painful to let her go, then. Her fingers drew small circles on my forehead, massaging me, I relaxed and leaned my head against her chest, and my arms hugged her tighter involuntarily.

"Christian." She whispered. "Let me in." I watched her ocean blue eyes and her full, pink lips.

"I want to kiss you," I said without thinking. But much to my surprise, she didn't look frightened or disgusted. A beautiful pink colored her cheekbones.

"Then why don't you?" She licked her lips while I tried to remember my reasons.

"I can't. There is nothing I can offer to you." Her fingers traced my bottom lip, sending shivers down my spine.

"I only want one thing. It's not much." I frowned. I could give her anything material she wanted, she knew that, right?

"And what is that?" She watched me carefully and raised her hand, putting it on my heart slowly. She gave me time to react and stop her but she didn't know how often she did this in her sleep. It used to scare me a lot when she first did that. I spend few sleepless hours trying to stop a panic attack that never came. Eventually, I discovered that my demons didn't rush to my head when she touched me. Nightmares didn't come. Fear didn't come so I got used to it. My heart was beating in my chest while I waited for her answer. What did she want? She leaned into me and kissed my cheek.

"I want this, Christian." Realization hit me fast. I'd laugh if I didn't feel so disappointed. Of course, Anastasia would do something cheesy like that, it wasn't surprising given the books she kept reading. That romantic bullshit. My heart? I wanted to laugh like Elena did the first time I told her my heart was breaking. However, there was a little piece of me was overwhelmed by happiness, it noticed that Anastasia wasn't indifferent to me as much as I thought. She wasn't disgusted with me. But which one was the worse? Her not thinking about me or thinking about me as her lover?

"I don't have a heart," I replied and tried to get away from her. Her warm lips were too close to me. Her hand seated on my cheeks hurt.

"You have a beautiful heart, Christian Grey." She said and kissed my other cheek. "You have a beautiful heart and you'll notice it soon. And I'll be waiting." The determination in her voice scared me. I knew I didn't have a heart and I couldn't love her like she wanted me to but I also knew it was going to crush her. I was going to open another scar on her damaged, beautiful soul, even without noticing it. She kissed my closed eyelids with such tenderness, I felt like a delicate creature. Her hands fell from my face first, and her warm arms followed soon. I opened my eyes and watch her disappear into her room.

* * *

 **Hey everybody!**

 **I'm sorry for the grammar errors in the previous and this chapter but the bad news is, my current beta isn't able to help me out with the chapters anymore and I can't find another beta. I've sent PMs a lot of betas but none of didn't even bother to say they aren't interested. So I'd be soooo happy if someone wants to help me, otherwise, I need to ask you all kindly to ignore my mistakes. As I said before, English is my secon language and I make a lot of mistakes. I'm sorry again, I use grammarly web app but it's not enough.**

 **I'm so happy with the support I got in the previous chapter, you guys are amazing!**

 **Let me know what do you think about our "heartless" Christian ;)**

 **-Alina**


	13. Chapter 13: Demons

**Chapter 13: Demons**

"Christian, I'm not sure I understand you." I pulled my hair for the hundredth time today. What was so hard to understand? I was starting to think that Flynn wasn't as smart as I thought he was.

"You don't want her to be your submissive, you find the idea repulsive. Am I right?" I nodded. Even the thought of me hitting Anastasia made my stomach turn. "And you are trying to stay away from her because she doesn't want a dominant?" I nodded again. She never wanted to be a submissive in the first place. Flynn sighed.

"Christian this isn't logical at all. It would make sense if you wanted to be her dominant and think that she doesn't need one. Self-hatred is not an option in this scenario but it kind of makes sense. However, you are not telling me this right now. Yes, she doesn't want a dominant but it's supposed to be okay because you don't want to be her dominant. So what's the problem here?"

"The problem is I can't offer her anything else! I'm a dominant. This is not just sexual, this is who I am. I need control, I need rules and I can't force them on Anastasia! But I want her. This is the problem, John! What's so hard to understand?!" I shouted but he chuckled before writing something down on his notepad and turning to me in his chair. He pointed to my empty seat, silently telling me to sit down. I've been pacing around the room since I came here in the morning. Our conversation last night scared me. I didn't want to break her heart but I also didn't know how to reject her, so I came here the first thing in the morning. I tried to take deep breaths despite the panic raging through my body and sat down.

"Were you thinking about her as a submissive at the times you want her?" I briefly thought about that but no. I mostly wondered what she was doing at home while I was working. I shook my head.

"What do you think about Anastasia right now?"

"I'm wondering if she had breakfast. It's around 10 so she must be awake."

"Where is the dominance in this thought?" I stayed silent because I didn't think there was.

"Christian, you don't need to be dominant all the time. Your sexual preferences don't define you all the time. Yes, you love being in control but it doesn't mean that Anastasia needs to be a submissive so that she can be with you. It's an issue you two need to figure out. Some people like to be in charge, some people like to follow the leader. You don't even know which one is Anastasia. I agree with her, you should let her in." I needed to admit though, he had a point. Maybe Anastasia will like to follow my lead?

"She's not going to like what she sees inside." I muttered, finally letting my biggest fear go.

"I thought you said she knows you better than anyone else in your life?"

"Yes but it's still limited. She doesn't know all of my demons. They would scare her."

"You don't know all of her demons either. She might be a victim, but she still lives with them, Christian. The incident with her father should be enough proof of that. Are you going to run when you see all of her demons?"

"Of course not." I scowled. "I'll fight her demons. I won't leave her alone in this."

"Then why can't you believe she wants to do the same for you?" I was going to say because she won't, but I remembered how she chased my nightmares away, and how her little hand on my heart gives me some kind of secure feeling instead of fear. Realization hit me. She was already fighting them.

"She chases my nightmares away." I muttered. "I don't have nightmares when she sleeps beside me."

"I know." He said softly. "And I believe you chase hers, too?" I nodded.

"But she still gets scared sometimes. She searches for my heartbeat some nights." He gave me a confused look.

"What do you mean your heartbeat?"

"She says concentrating on my heartbeat calms her down. Some days when she gets scared for whatever reason she listens to it, and during some nights she unconsciously reaches out to feel it." He raised his eyebrows.

"You let her touch your chest?"

"Not purposely at first. As I said, she only does that at nights without realizing it. I was scared that it would wake some bad memories but it doesn't. Her touch doesn't scare me so I got used to it. She touched my chest last night during our conversation. I don't know if it counts because my clothes are always a barrier. I mean, she doesn't touch my naked skin but-"

"Christian, this is brilliant!" He exclaimed. "I can't believe you didn't tell me about this." He shook his head in disbelief.

"So?" I looked at him expectantly. He needs to tell me what to do before I turn back to Anastasia.

"I can't give you answers, Christian. Don't expect me to tell you what to do. I'm only obligated to point out your mistakes and show you the possible ways."

"I swear I'm paying you for no reason." He laughed.

"Then why do you keep coming back?"

"I have no idea." He shook his head and smiled.

"Goodbye, Christian."

"Bye."

* * *

"Christian!" Anastasia exclaimed when I appeared in the door way. She launched herself at me while I caught her and hugged her.

"Hi there." I chuckled at her enthusiasm; she was acting as if she hadn't seen me for years.

"Hi." She mumbled and hugged me tight. "Where have you been?"

"I went to talk to Flynn." She gave me a lazy, one sided smirk.

"Did he give you the answers you need?" I rolled my eyes, of course she knew the affect she had on me with that talk yesterday.

"Nope."

"Poor Christian Grey." She giggled and her hand brushed some of my hair from my forehead.

"Good morning, Mr. Grey." Gail greeted me, smiling.

"Good morning, Gail. Did you two ladies have breakfast yet?"

"No, Mr. Grey. Ana wanted to wait for you." I looked down at her and we smiled at each other before taking our seats and quietly eating the omelet Gail made for us. It was nice to see how comfortable she was with Gail, it gave me a glimpse of how she was before that bastard kidnapped her. That was the reason I let her tease me however she wanted, I guess. I wasn't this close with my staff but I loved hearing her giggle and blush when I answered her jokes on how I didn't even know how to chop a vegetable. She was beautiful when she was laughing.

"Mr. Grey." Taylor's voice cut their laughter short. He motioned me to follow him, so I did.

"My ex-wife just dropped Sophie here. Her father died and she can't take her so is it okay if Sophie stays here with me for a few days?" I nodded.

"Of course, Taylor. Is there anything I can do for your ex-wife?"

"No, Sir. Thank you." I nodded at him and returned to Anastasia and Gail, finding them looking at me expectantly.

"Sophie is coming, she'll be staying here for a few days." Gail smiled and Anastasia looked at her, confused.

"Who is Sophie?"

"Jason's daughter." She said.

"Who is Jason?" I chuckled.

"Taylor."

"Oh."

After a few minutes Taylor came into the room, holding Sophie's hand. She was a cute little girl. A blonde angel like her mother but she was shy, looking timid as all of us gazed at her.

"Hi, Sophie." I welcomed her. She blushed, reminding me Anastasia.

"Hello, Mr. Grey."

"Hi, Sophie, did you eat breakfast?" Gail asked.

"Hi, Mrs. Jones. Yes, my mother and I had before she dropped me off here." Taylor led her to the chair beside me and took her coat. Anastasia waited for him to get out of the room and smiled at Sophie.

"Hello, Sophie! I'm Anastasia, nice to meet you." She shook her hand, blushing.

"Hi! Anastasia like the Russian princess in the movie?" Anastasia giggled.

"Yes. My mother liked her very much."

"Are you a princess?!" Sophie's excited face made us all laugh. Anastasia smiled at her and shook her head.

"I'm afraid not."

"But- You are Russian, right?"

"No." Sophie looked disappointed but smiled at her anyway as she quietly sat down beside us. Weren't children supposed to be talking constantly?

"Don't you have homework to do, Sophie?" Gail asked in a motherly manner. I wondered if she and Jason ever thought about having kids of their own. She would make a good mother. Sophie sighed.

"I do but I need my mother for math problems. I'm really bad at them and I can't understand them without someone helping me." She looked really sad about her lack of math skills. Gail pouted a little.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart, I would help you if I could but my knowledge about math is really limited."

"Christian, why don't you help Sophie?" I looked at Anastasia, surprised. Why would I want to spend my Sunday with a kid doing stupid homework? Besides, Sophie was Taylor's responsibility, not mine.

"It's okay, Miss Anastasia." Sophie said, clearly embarrassed. She was playing with the hem of her pink dress. "I know Mr. Grey is a busy man and I'll just wait for my mother." I sighed, Anastasia was throwing me deathly looks because I apparently made Sophie upset.

"I'm not working today, Sophie. I can help with your homework if you want." She raised her head in surprise and looked at me with beaming eyes.

"That would be great, Mr. Grey. If you don't have any work to do, of course." I smiled at her and pointed to the table beside the television.

"Why don't you go and set your supplies, I'll be there shortly." She nodded excitedly and ran to get her bag. Why the hell she was excited? I mean, yes I'd help her, but it was just homework. I always hated homework. I turned to another beaming pair of eyes.

"Are you happy now, your majesty?" I raised my eyebrow and leaned into her a little. She giggled and stood up before sitting on my lap and caressing my cheeks.

"Yes. Very much." I rolled my eyes.

"I had better ways to spend a Sunday, though."

"Being good at everything has a price, Mr. Grey."

"I'm not good at everything." She snorted.

"Like what?" I leaned into her ear and whispered.

"I can't chop vegetables." She laughed out loud and nodded.

"What a terrible ability to be lacking in!" I shrugged and brushed her hair from her pretty eyes. "Now go." She ordered and stood up from my lap.

* * *

Sophie was better at math than I imagined her to be. There were a few points she couldn't understand, but I did my best to explain them to her and it only took us about half an hour. She blushed again while gathering her books together.

"Thank you so much, Mr. Grey. I couldn't finish it on my own." I smiled at her.

"You are better than you think, Sophie. Yes, it might have taken longer but you could do it on your own." She smiled at me but something caught her attention behind me. A soft pair of arms wrapped around me before I had a chance to look and a familiar, feminine scent filled my nose. I smiled and leaned into her chest.

"Are you done, Mr. Grey?" I nodded. She turned to Sophie.

"How did you find Mr. Grey's teaching skills, Miss Taylor?" Sophie blushed more and giggled.

"He was very kind, Miss Anastasia."

"It's Ana, Sophie. And I think it's her way of saying you were horrible and she didn't understand a word." She told me playfully and ruffled my hair. I raised my eyebrow to Sophie.

"Is that true, Miss Taylor?" She looked really confused, looking between Anastasia and me, not knowing what to say but she relaxed when we both laughed.

"Sophie?" I turned to see Taylor's surprised face. If Anastasia didn't tense immediately, I'd probably laugh. I know that I wasn't exactly friendly with Sophie before but he was so surprised to see us like that, it was funny. I caressed Anastasia's hands. Her fear of Taylor wasn't ridiculous after the incident with Ray. Given the resemblance between the body types of both men, it wasn't hard to see what scared her. I knew that she knows Taylor or Ray won't hurt her, but I think they were looking like that bastard, which made her tense around them.

"Daddy!" Sophie squealed and ran into his waiting arms. He smiled and he had the most affectionate expression on his face I've ever seen on him. "Mr. Grey helped me with my math homework." He looked at me and nodded.

"Thank you, Sir. Her mother usually helps her but…"

"It's okay, Taylor. No trouble, I loved helping Sophie." I smiled at her but she was looking at her father, smiling.

"But Ana told him to help me!" That made Gail and me laugh loudly but Anastasia only smiled, still scared of Taylor.

"Did you thank both of them?" He asked quietly to his daughter who was smiling smugly.

"I'm going to help, Gail." Anastasia said quickly and nearly ran to the kitchen. Taylor looked at me with a strange expression and I shrugged. I hoped Flynn would help her with these issues because she can't spend her life scared like that. I left Sophie and Taylor and went to find Anastasia. She was talking quietly with Gail, who was caressing her shoulders as if she was trying to calm her down.

"Are you okay, Blue?" She looked up to me and an embarrassed expression was on her pretty face. She nodded.

"I'm sorry, Christian." I smiled at her.

"Don't worry, Anastasia. Everything is going to be okay." She smiled but it didn't reach her eyes.

* * *

The next Monday was boring and busy. The worst combination, ever. I was worried about Anastasia more than ever and I wanted to know who that son of a bitch was but at the same time, I didn't want to. I was pretty sure that his name was written on the folder buried deep inside the drawer in my office, but I was scared of myself in a way. If I went there and found out who he is, I'll seek revenge but I knew that bastard was someone powerful. There wasn't any way of him getting rid of Ray's friends from the FBI. There was no other way that he kept Anastasia for 4 years and no one reported him. No, he was powerful but I needed to make sure I was more powerful before acting up. Besides, Anastasia's well-being was my main concern right now. What would I do if I searched for him and he tried to get Anastasia again? Sure, he couldn't but she wasn't strong enough for this. Not now, at least.

"Mrs. Lincoln is here, Mr. Grey." Andrea's voice came from the phone on my desk. I sat up and told her to let Elena come through. I didn't have time to ask her what the fuck she was trying to do when telling Anastasia I'll give her to Elena, and her demand for this "business meeting" looked like a right time. She was wearing a simple red shirt and dark jeans, her blonde hair styled and all her jewelry in place. But none of that was what caught my attention, it was the Cheshire cat look on her face.

"Christian." She purred and touched my shoulder when I stood up to greet her. "It's been a long time, why don't you answer my calls?"

"I needed to calm down, Elena. Otherwise I might have done things I didn't want to with burning rage. Do you mind telling me what were you thinking when you told Anastasia that I'll give her to you?" She looked surprised for a moment.

"She told you that? Oh. I was just trying to make her relax, Christian. She looked scared and I only told her that I'm willing to help."

"Willing to help what? She's not a submissive, Elena. And even if I wanted her to be, I don't need your help with my submissives. I never did."

"What do you mean 'even if'? She's physically fine but she's still staying with you. And you brought her to meet your family and I assumed-"

"Don't." I was trying my best to keep calm but it was really hard. "Don't assume things about me. It's not your business what I am doing with Anastasia or why. Do you have any idea how scared she was?"

"Scared?" She snorted. "Oh, she's better than I give her credit. She is not some kind of helpless girl, Christian. She's trying to tie you down, like the others. But you can't see that right now. I suggest you to draw lines clearly because there won't be turning back once she gets into your social circle as your 'girlfriend'. Be careful."

"It wasn't her idea to be introduced as my girlfriend." She raised a perfectly shaped eyebrow.

"It's what are you thinking, but she might have planted the idea somewhere along the way."

"No!" I finally lost it and roared. I wouldn't tolerate her talking about Anastasia like she was some kind of hunter and I was the prey. I knew Anastasia, she didn't. "You're not allowed to say anything like that to her again. I don't want you coming around when you know we're with my family. I don't want you to even think about her. What I do is not your business anymore, Elena."

"Since when do you 'allow' me, Christian?" She looked really surprised about my outburst but her pride probably got in the way. Well, too bad that I don't give a fuck.

"Since you keep sticking your nose places it doesn't belong. I mean it, Elena. Stay away from her."

"Okay, Christian. I'll keep my distance but I was just trying to protect you."

"Don't." She nodded quietly but I knew better to fall for her hurt expression.

"So, what were you saying about the salons?" We quickly returned to business and it didn't take long. We said goodbyes and she was out the door in an hour.

I sat down for a few more minutes until I got over Elena. She was so hard to deal with that I sometimes felt like I couldn't breathe around her, like her stubbornness and ego were grabbing my neck tight. It was a relief when she left. The funny thing was it used to be other way around. I used to think she gave me the space to breathe when she was making all the necessary decisions for me, when she took away all the responsibilities. I don't even remember when these feelings changed.

The rest of the day went by fast, but I didn't notice how late it was until Andrea came in and asked me what I wanted for dinner. I didn't want to waste time with eating, so I sent her away and kept on working on the stupid agreements with some of the guys from the department.

"So they want the price to-" Barney's word were interrupted by my ringing phone. I sighed and looked at the screen. It said home. Home meaning Anastasia. I smiled and held my hand up to him, signaling for a break. He nodded and took the other guys with him.

"Hi." I laughed at her hesitant voice. She was always like that when she called me from work, worried she was interrupting business. Truthfully, she did but the good thing about being the CEO, you could interrupt your work whenever you wanted.

"Hi." I answered. "Did you miss me?" She giggled and I smiled at her happy sound.

"Of course I did, but that's not why I called. Aren't you coming to the dinner?" I sighed, I should've let her know but it wasn't something I'm used to.

"No, I can't. I'm sorry I should've called, don't wait for me."

"It's okay. I was a little worried about you, I thought something happened."

"No, Blue. I'm okay, just busy."

"Okay, I'll let you go. Did you eat?"

"No, I didn't have time but I'll grab something soon."

"Promise?" A grin broke out on my face. It wasn't something I'm used to, either. Gail was the only one who tried to take care of me but she was getting paid for that. Anastasia had no obligation. It felt good.

"I promise, Anastasia."

"Okay, Goodbye."

"Laters." I was a hundred percent sure she was rolling her eyes like she did every time I told her that. I ended the call and told the guys to come back in, and I was far more relaxed than I'd ever been today. Her voice had that effect on me. I saw Barney and the others share some weird looks, but I didn't comment. How could I explain to them that I had a beautiful girl waiting for me at home and I wanted to finish as soon as possible? Plus, they would never believe their monster boss would think something like that. So I turn to the agreements.

* * *

 **Special thanks to SilverSteeleandGrey for helping me with the chapter.**


	14. Chapter 14: A Friendly Visit

**Chapter 14: A Friendly Visit**

"Are you sure it's okay?" I asked Gail again while she drove to the Christian's workplace. I didn't like him working this late and I wanted him to eat dinner, but I wouldn't think of bothering him at work if Gail didn't suggest we take food to him and Taylor. I wasn't totally convinced that he'll be okay with us visiting him at work and interrupting his business, but Gail said he would be delighted, and she wanted Taylor to eat, too. I didn't understand how they could be together; I mean Gail has one of the softest souls I've ever met, whereas Taylor has one of the toughest. I absolutely could not find any resemblance between them, but I guess I'm the last person who can make decisions about soulmates. Look how my "soulmate" choice turned out, I thought bitterly.

"Yes, Ana. Mr. Grey welcomes the attention you give him." She smirked.

"I know, but it's his work. What if we're interrupting and he gets mad?"

"Honestly, I don't think Mr. Grey could possibly ever get mad at you." I blushed while thinking of the difference between the Christian he shows me and the Christian in his office. I've watched him work on agreements, make phone calls and video conferences with important people so many times to know the distinction. His rough, self-confident demeanor was only a charade, and it gave me great pleasure to know that I might be the only one who has the privilege to know the real Christian.

"I hope so." I said while she pulled over in front of a skyscraper. I looked at the big building in awe and watched people in suits come and go. I thought only Christian was working late, but apparently his employees were working late as well.

"Ana, you go inside, I'll get the sandwiches and come in in a minute." I nodded and walked to the building nervously. It wasn't very crowded, thanks to the hour, but it was still different to socialize again. I was used to being around people I know all the time and I wasn't sure if it was a good idea to introduce myself to a new environment so soon. Regardless, I walked inside while admiring the name _Grey House_ printed on front of the building. I was proud of Christian and all the things he did. I knew he was an important businessman but I didn't know the extent of that importance.

I walked further into the lobby and approached a receptionist's desk, catching a pretty blonde girl smiling at me.

"Hello, Miss. Welcome to Grey House. May I help you?" I swallowed hard. _Don't fuck this up, Ana. Just go and ask for Christian._ I walked towards the desk and tried to smile.

"Hi, Umm. I'm here to see Christian Grey."

"Do you have an appointment, Miss-?"

"Steele." I said quickly. "And, no I don't have an appointment but he knows me, if you could tell me where his room is?" I was starting to panic. Of course I would tell the lie of me being his girlfriend, but the blonde girl didn't seem like she would be willing to tell me anything. She raised an eyebrow at me and then looked at the other blonde girl beside her who was rolling her eyes.

"I'll call his assistant and ask, Miss Steele. Mr. Grey doesn't usually accept visitors."

"No!" I said quickly. Gail and I wanted it to be a surprise, they shouldn't be calling him. "Don't call him. Look, I'm his girlfriend I want to surprise him, I brought soup." I showed them the bag in my hand.

The other blonde girl snorted. " _Girlfriend_? Please, sweetheart. Do you know how many women come and go through here every day? And all of them are supposedly his girlfriends?" She laughed when she looked at me from head to toe, making me feel really little and inappropriate in my jeans and stripped shirt. "Besides, trust me, if Mr. Grey would want a girlfriend, you wouldn't be his choice. Now back off before I call sec-" Tears welled in my eyes, she was right. But I already knew that Christian wouldn't choose me. It was the way she said that.

"Ana?" I heard Gail's voice from behind me. Her smile immediately vanished when she saw my face. "Is there something wrong?" She looked at the girls. Apparently, they knew her. The girl who was snorting at me looked surprised while the other looked embarrassed.

"Good evening, Mrs. Jones." She said, apologetically. "Miss Steele didn't want us to call Mr. Grey but-"

"Yes, she is Mr. Grey's girlfriend and I assume she has the right to surprise her boyfriend, don't you think?" She raised an eyebrow at them and I admired her strength. I wish I could be a strong woman like her and defend myself instead of crying like a baby. Both of them looked horrified at her explanation. The rude one was looking like she was about to explode, her face completely red. The kind one composed herself quicker and smiled at me.

"Yes, of course. Mr. Grey is in the conference room on the 16th floor, Mrs. Jones. I'm sorry for our behavior before, Miss Steele. There are a lot of women trying to reach Mr. Grey and we need to be sure." I was going to tell her it's okay but Gail nodded at them and pulled me towards the elevator.

"Why did you let them get you?" She scolded me once we get inside.

"I didn't know what to say. The other one told me if Christian wanted a girlfriend, he wouldn't choose me."

She gasped. "Who does she think she is? I'll make sure Mr. Grey knows about that. And you and I both know who Mr. Grey comes home to, right?"

I laughed. She was right. He came home to me. He watched stupid travelling shows with me, and I was the one in his arms while we slept. We were greeted by a very bored looking Taylor when the elevator doors opened. Gail smiled brightly and walked towards him confidently while I followed her.

"Hi." She smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Hi." Taylor looked very surprised to see us. "What are you doing here?"

"We wanted to make sure our men are fed." I blushed, thinking about Christian as "my man" was nice but we both knew it wasn't true. Taylor beamed at her, then he turned to me with a smile still on his face, but I couldn't bring myself to smile back.

"I assume Mr. Grey doesn't know you'll be here?"

"Umm, no." I answered. "I want to surprise him, is that okay?"

He nodded and pointed to the long corridor, directing me. "This way, Miss Steele." We walked to the desk where two other blondes sat. I didn't understand why all of his employees were blondes.

A petite woman smiled at Gail. "Hi, Mrs. Jones." Then she looked at me. I couldn't help but smile, she had a lovely face.

"Hi, Andrea. This is Mr. Grey's girlfriend, Miss Steele." She looked surprised, too, but didn't look at me like I wasn't good enough for Christian like the other girls did.

"Hi, Miss Steele." She greeted me kindly. "Mr. Grey is in a meeting right now but I can inform him if you want?"

"Hello, Andrea. I want to surprise him, can I go inside?" She looked hesitant as she glanced at Taylor, who nodded in confidence. She turned to me and then pointed to the big doors beside us. I'd laugh if she wasn't so kind to me, she looked scared at the thought of interrupting Christian's business. I could only imagine how he was treating them. Thankfully, I was confident he wouldn't be so hard on me. So, I walked towards the door and knocked.

"Andrea, I told you we don't have time for interruptions." Christian's sharp voice greeted me while I peeked inside. There was a long desk and he was facing the door with four other men seated around him. I was a little reluctant. I didn't know if he would act differently around other men. He wasn't even looking at the door; he was reading something from the notebook in front of him, his face serious.

"You don't have time for homemade food, either?" I said and his head shot up immediately, his gray eyes met mine and the serious expression on his face was replaced with a grin to match the smile on my face. The other men turned to the door, too and I felt a blush creep across my face. I opened the door wider and held up the bag in my hand. He rapidly closed the laptop and came to me in a few quick strides.

"Hi." I muttered while he hugged me and inhaled deeply. I could easily feel how tense his body was. I tried to ease him a little by hugging him back with one arm and rubbing his shoulder with my other hand.

"Hi, Blue." He said, smiling. I soon realized how curious the other men watching us were, and I blushed more. Christian smirked and took my hand, pulling me towards them.

"Gentleman, this beautiful lady is my girlfriend, Anastasia Steele." I was surprised at how proud he looked. He wasn't like that when he took me to the Grey's.

Christian pointed to a young man with black glasses and curly hair. "This is Barney." He then pointed to the other three old men. Honestly, all three of them looked similar. "That's Joshua, Matthew and Clark." All of them held out their hands and I shook each one.

"Well, how about we call it a night?" Christian told them but I quickly disagreed. Gail guessed that there would be other people working with him, so we brought enough food for everyone.

"No, please stay. I assume none of you have had dinner?" I looked at them all, no one disagreed. I put the container and little cups on the table. "We have enough food for everyone, please eat." Soon Gail joined us with a bag of sandwiches while they sat down, and I gave everyone soup.

"Hi, Mr. Grey." She smiled at Christian who was watching me with amusement.

"Hi, Mrs. Jones. Thank you for feeding us."

She laughed. "No problem, Mr. Grey. I couldn't keep this little lady at home." She pointed at me while I blushed furiously. "She was worried that a certain CEO wouldn't be able to feed himself."

I shot her a dirty look which made the other men laugh louder. Christian sat down when I finally gave him his soup. I turned around to pull out a chair for myself, but Christian grabbed my wrist and pulled me down on his lap. He settled me on one of his legs and secured me with his arm, then started eating his soup with his free hand. Barney looked amused and I was a little embarrassed.

"Christian, what are you doing?" I whispered to him while he pulled me closer. He looked at me wearing an innocent expression.

"I'm eating soup, Anastasia?"

"Not that! Why am I sitting on your lap?!" I whisper-shouted.

He smirked. "Because I want you to."

"But you're at work!"

"I own the company, baby. I can eat my soup however I want. It's delicious soup by the way. Here, taste." He fed me a spoonful of chicken soup. I rolled my eyes but I was glad that he was playful, not mad. He made me eat a few more spoonfuls, and then I saw everyone else in the room had stopped eating and was watching us. Even Taylor looked amused, which he usually wasn't. I quickly hid my face in the crook of Christian's neck and he laughed loudly.

They ate their food in silence until Christian cleared his throat. "I think that's enough for today. I want the documents on my desk by tomorrow morning, Barney."

Barney nodded and stood up with the other men, they all shook hands and left.

"You don't have to finish your work, we'll leave." I said but he smiled and shook his head.

"I was tired anyway; it was a very nice interruption, Miss Steele." I snorted, remembering the way he scolded me when he thought I was Andrea.

"Yeah? I thought you didn't have time for interruptions, Mr. Grey?"

"I always have time for these kinds of interruptions, Miss Steele." He brushed his fingers down my cheek and I leaned into his touch.

"You mean food?"

He chuckled. "Exactly. I mean food." We both laughed and I hugged his neck, gently rubbing his shoulders which were still a little tense. He relaxed a little more and sank into my arms, inhaling deeply.

"You are so tense." I murmured. "That much stress is not good for your health."

He sighed. "I know but it's not easy to run an empire."

"Oh my god, I know!" I exclaimed and parted myself from him while holding onto his shoulders. "I never knew your company was so big! I thought you had a small one! This is a skyscraper for God's sake!"

He laughed at my enthusiasm. "It's just a part of it, baby." _Baby?_ "GEH is active in many areas of business and we have other buildings in a few more cities and countries." I could see how proud he was of his company.

"I'm proud of you, Christian." I told him and brushed some hair from his forehead. He looked surprised at first, but then seemed to enjoy my touch.

We looked at each other until he asked, "Are you ready to leave?"

I nodded and stood up from his lap. He got his jacket, putting it on and took my hand. We found Taylor and Gail seated beside the desk where a very bored looking Andrea sat. She jumped to her feet when she saw us.

"You can leave, Andrea." Christian said. "I'm sorry we kept you this late. Have a good evening."

She looked at us in disbelief before she pulled herself together.

"It's okay, Mr. Grey. Have a good evening and you, too, Miss Steele."

I smiled. "You can call me Ana, Andrea."

She smiled while we got into the elevator with Taylor and Gail.

"Andrea is very kind, Mr. Grey, unlike some of you other employees. I can say she is very well suited for her job."

I shot Gail a warning look. I could understand that she was angry at the girls in reception, but I didn't want to make Christian mad at them.

"What do you mean, Gail? Was someone rude to you?" Christian asked her, frowning.

She said "yes" at the same time I said "no." I sighed when I saw the determined look on her face.

"What happened?" Christian looked at me this time. I blushed a little.

"The girls at the reception desk on the first floor didn't believe I was your girlfriend because I didn't want them to call you. We wanted it to be a surprise." I said quietly. "It was understandable; I mean they can't just let anyone in here."

"I think you forgot the part when one of them told you Mr. Grey wouldn't look at you if he wanted a girlfriend." Gail said. I wanted to slap her.

Christian raised his eyebrows in surprise. "They told you that?"

"Christian it's-"

"No, it's not okay." He mumbled to himself but didn't comment further. We stepped out of the elevator with his hand in mine, and I noticed both of the girls' eyes were fixed on our hands as we got closer to the desk.

The rude one fluttered her eyelashes at him.

"Good evening, Mr. Grey."

"I don't think so. You two are fired." I looked at him in shock. I thought he was going to shout or scold them, but firing someone for me? It was so meaningless, I mean they didn't insult or swear at me. Christian's face was angry and serious.

"What?" She said. "B-but why, Mr. Grey?"

"You have the audacity to ask?" He spat. "I won't tolerate any disrespect towards my girlfriend or anyone else who comes here."

"I'm so sorry!" She said. There were tears streaming down her face now, and the kind one was watching the exchange silently. "But you have no idea how many women come here like that every day."

"It's why you are here. Your job is to decide who's telling the truth or not. And it doesn't include insulting people." She started to talk again but he raised his hand towards her and dragged me towards the door. I tried to convince him that what he did was wrong, but he was having none of it. He finally shut me up by telling me that I could've been some client, and the girls' behavior could've caused a loss in the company's revenues. I couldn't disagree with that.

* * *

"So, Anastasia," Flynn said crossing his legs. "Do you intend to talk about something? I don't have any magic powers; I can't help you if you don't talk to me." I sighed and leaned into the cushion more. I wanted to talk to him but I couldn't gather the words. Besides, even though Christian tried to assure me that Flynn would never violate our privacy, I was still not sure about telling him about my past. Part of that was because I was worried of what he would think of me.

"I don't know if I'm comfortable opening myself up to you." I said quietly. I wasn't very much confident without Christian with me. He offered to come but I knew that he had a lot of work to do lately, so Gail was the one waiting for me today.

"I know." He said. "I don't expect you to come and tell me all about your past. Besides, despite what most other people may think, psychiatry is not all about dealing with the past. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

I raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

He nodded. "Let's talk about present, then. Has anything interesting happened in your life lately?"

"Umm… Gail and I took dinner to Christian's workplace last night." I said. It was an interesting event and I wanted to know what he was going to think about Christian's behavior because it was confusing. "He was working late and didn't have time to eat, so we packed dinner and went there."

He smiled. "What did you think of Grey House? I had to visit his office once, and I must say it was impressive."

"It is. I was proud of Christian and his management. I know about his birth mother and what happened afterwards; it's a very big accomplishment, I think. Not everyone could establish an empire at such a young age."

"I agree." He said. "But I'm more interested in how that made you feel. You've been with Christian for a long time, and I'm assuming you didn't go outside frequently. Did socializing make you feel anxious?"

I frowned. "A little, I guess. I wasn't allowed to go outside when I was with _him_ , too. So it's been a really, really long time." I chuckled nervously. "I panicked when the girls at the front desk tried to insult me, but Gail kind of rescued me so there wasn't a crisis or anything."

"Why did they try to insult you?"

"They thought I wasn't good enough to be Christian's girlfriend."

"You mean not attractive enough?" I nodded. "Why didn't you stand up for yourself, Anastasia?"

"As I said, I panicked. Besides, I don't think it was wrong to assume I wasn't his girlfriend, because I'm not."

"Don't you think you are attractive, Anastasia?"

I raised an eyebrow, didn't he see me? "Of course not. I'm average, and definitely not beautiful enough to attract men like Christian. All of his employees were far more beautiful than I am."

"What would catch men like Christian's attention?"

"I don't know." I thought about that for a moment. "Long, slender legs? Blonde hair, probably. Clear, bronze skin. Big boobs." I shrugged.

He smiled at me. "Why do I think that your definition of 'attractive' is the girls in magazines? Have you ever look around, Anastasia? Most of the female population is not like those girls. It's their job to look like that. Do you expect everyone to have medical knowledge just because there are doctors? No? Then why would you expect everyone to look like a model? And trust me, as men, we don't."

"I know that." I spat. "I don't know if you noticed my emphasis on "men like Christian." We both know that Christian is far more handsome than most male models. I'm sure I'm not attractive to him."

"Do you want Christian to be attracted to you?"

"No." I said too quickly and blushed. Of course it didn't go unnoticed by my genius therapist.

He smirked at me. "I think you do."

"I said no."

He shook his head. He didn't seem convinced, but I wasn't going to admit my endless desire to be appreciated by Christian to him.

"What happened next?" He asked, encouraging me to continue.

"He had a meeting but he dismissed them once I told him I brought them food. We had dinner together. But Christian's behavior sometimes confuses me." I admitted.

"How so?"

"He acts like we are a couple living together at home or when we are with his family. But once he told me that he has nothing to offer me, so I thought he meant that we can't be a couple in public. I thought he wouldn't act like that around his colleagues'."

"What did he do?"

I blushed again, remembering the way he pulled me on his lap or fed me. "He had me sit on his lap in front of them and fed me."

"Maybe he meant something else when he said he has nothing to offer you?"

"I don't know; that's the way I interpreted it." I mumbled. "He doesn't want to talk about feelings or emotional baggage."

"What do you want, Anastasia?"

"I want him happy." I said simply. "I want him to feel deserving of his family's love. I want him to see what I see when I look at him."

"And what is that?"

"I see a beautiful man. One who is able to love unconditionally, if he allowed himself to; who is able to do anything to protect his loved ones. I see a very generous heart and a brilliant mind." I blushed when I noticed how far I went, but Flynn smiled at me.

"I'm going to share a secret with you, Anastasia." He leaned towards me a little. "Christian is very close to the point you described more than he has ever been. And it's all because of you. I never saw him smile as much before you. I know it's a big burden on your shoulders, but don't give up on him, okay?"

I nodded. "I won't." I didn't think I would be able to, anyway.

* * *

 **A/N : I know the past 2 chapters didn't contain much action but I must warn you all, the worst is yet to come to our sweet couple :(**

 **This chapter is betaed b** **y SilverSteeleandGrey**


	15. Chapter 15: Familiar

**Hello everyone! Long time no see, I know. I don't really have an excuse about not updating for this long. My responsibilities caught up on me and I preferred to use my time left to rest, not writing. However, the other day I was reading a very good fanfic but the writer stopped updating in the most important chapters. And I was like, "AGGH! Why would you start a story if you are not going to finish it? Now, I'll have to come up with my own ending!" in that moment, I noticed how hypocrite I was. I don't think I'm that good in this writing thing but from your reviews and messages, I know there are some people following this story regulary. So, long story short, I decided to finish this story one way or another. I came up with a very long chapter, I hope it'll satisfy you all.**

 **About chapter, there are action in this chapter but it's not going to last. This story is not about how Anastasia got rid of her old life. It's about her development about mental issues and her relationship with Christian. Just warning, though. Don't wait of James Bond-y actions.**

 **As usual, reviews are very very very welcome and wanted. I couldn't return the reviews you made for the previous chapter but I promise I'll answer them this time.**

 **Love you all, guys.**

 **Have fun**

* * *

 **Chapter 15: Familiar**

I kept on playing with the mug in front of me; I didn't know what to say to Ray. I still felt nervous being around him, a disturbing feeling kept on keeping me on the edge, the same feeling I got when I'm around Taylor. Ray didn't look better than I did. He sighed.

"Are you happy with him?" I nodded.

"I know you want me to stay with you, and you don't trust Christian but-"

"I trust him," he interrupted.

I raised an eyebrow, I didn't forget the way he treated Christian the first time. "Since when?"

"Since the night at the hospital. I still don't know much about him but I trust him with your safety. I don't have a nagging feeling in my stomach like I did when—" he abruptly stopped, looking at me with wide eyes.

"It's okay, Dad," I said. "I know I should've listened to you, I should've trusted your instincts."

The silence lingered for a few more minutes. I didn't know how to make him feel comfortable around me when I was scared of him like that.

"Dad." I reached out and held his shaking hand on the table. "That night wasn't your fault, you know that, right?"

"Logically, I do. But I can't forget about the way you looked at me, Ana. I had just woke up from a nightmare myself and I wanted to make sure that you came back. You were whimpering and crying, I tried to wake you up. I wanted to keep the bad dreams away like I did when you were a little girl. You used to cry for me." He pulled his hand away and started to pull his hair. His voice was shaking and I could see him trying hard not to cry. "You used to say that Carla couldn't keep your nightmares away, that only I did." He finally let go and started to cry. I felt my own eyes filling with tears. I was so used to seeing Ray as the strongest man I know, and I didn't know what to do. I wanted to get up and hug him. I wanted to curl up in his lap and tell him everything will be okay but I couldn't ignore the fear.

"You were afraid of me." He kept murmuring before raising his red eyes to me. "Why aren't you afraid of Christian? He said you never freaked out when he woke you up."

"I'm not afraid of you, Daddy," I murmured but he raised his eyebrows.

"Then why don't you come and hug me like my Annie would do?"

I sighed. He was right. I was afraid of him and I wasn't his Annie anymore for sure.

"Dad. When he kept me with him, there was a guy, his staff. I can't tell you what he did to me but he was a horrible man." I tried my best to stay strong, stay in the moment while the memory of Geoffrey's hands tracing my body tried to creep in. "And your physical form looks so much like him. So does Taylor, Christian's bodyguard. I'm trying, Dad. I really am, but even now I'm trying so hard to stay in the moment." My voice cracked involuntarily but I kept my tears at bay. He was sad and shaken up enough. He wiped his eyes and nodded at me.

"I understand, Annie. I do. But are we going to be like this forever?" He gestured to the nervous aura around us.

"I don't know, Dad."

We kept quiet and my coffee got cold before Christian's gentle hand brushed my shoulder.

"Do you want to go home?" he whispered and I nodded, thankful that he accepted to take me to see my father and stay with me. I don't think he realized the amount of strength I felt just because he was there. But I was still grateful. I stood up while they shook hands. Ray took a step towards me to give me a hug goodbye, I think, but I took a step back, pressing my back against Christian's chest. My dad looked like he wanted to cry again.

"Good bye, Dad," I said, waving to him.

He swallowed hard and nodded. "Bye, Annie."

Christian held my hand and led me towards the black car waiting for us in front of the coffee shop. He held me tight when I cried my eyes out on the ride back home.

* * *

"We don't have to go if you're not feeling well. It wouldn't be the first dinner I cancelled."

I chuckled lightly at Christian's attempts to find an excuse to not go to dinner at his parents' place. His sister, Mia, came back from France and wanted to meet me immediately. I still remember the abrupt phone call this morning and the screaming voice over the phone. She was mad at Christian because he never told her he had a girlfriend and neither did her mother. But she was really excited to meet me at the same time and I know she scared Christian a little bit, even though he would never admit it.

"I'm fine," I said and straightened my skirt. I was wearing a black skirt that came to my knees and a simple blue shirt. Surprisingly, I wasn't nervous about meeting Mia. Grace always said that she and Christian were closer to each other than either of them are with Elliot, and I think Mia would be more open minded about me than her father was. I bitterly remembered Carrick's endless questions about me and my financial status which didn't exist at the moment.

Christian tied his blue tie and smiled at me from the mirror. He looked amazing. I went and hugged his waist. He immediately returned the gesture and inhaled deeply against my hair. One of his hands caressed my brown locks.

"I really love your hair like that."

"I know."

"I'm here, Blue. And you know that your father is not mad at you, don't you?"

"I know but he was so upset . . . Christian, I never saw my dad that sad, never saw him cry. I feel horrible because I made him that way."

He squeezed me tighter and I could hear his calming heartbeat under my ear.

"We sometimes make our parents angry or sad, just like they do us from time to time. We need to get over it, baby." There's that word again . . . Baby. I don't even think Christian noticed how frequently he called me baby. What's surprising is that I like it.

"Take your own advice, then," I said and fingered his hair. "You still feel bad for the things you did and for making your parents angry in your teenager years. Why don't you get over it?"

He sighed. "It's not the same thing, Anastasia."

"Yes it is."

"No, it's not."

I sighed this time. He was so forgiving to everyone around him but so ruthless towards himself at the same time, and I couldn't figure out why.

"Are you ready?" I asked him, and he smiled and nodded.

"Isn't it usually the man waiting for the woman to get ready?" He chuckled while we went outside, hand in hand.

"Well, usually yes. But since I don't wear makeup or take forever to decide what to wear, it's you that's waited on."

"I don't wear makeup."

"You pluck your eyebrows. That counts." He looked at me in disbelief.

"Of course not! You need to apply some colorful shit to your face and this is makeup. I'm just looking after myself. And for your information, my eyebrows are flawless, thank you very much!" He tried to swing his hair like they do in the shampoo ads and I burst out laughing. He laughed with me for a moment but waited for me to pull myself together then we get into the car. He was driving today again. He knew how afraid I was of Taylor and tried to make our paths cross as minimal as possible, and I felt grateful for that.

I kept giggling until we pulled in front of his parents' house. He smiled and stared at me, making my face turn red. I didn't know why but he sometimes got that distracted look on his face when he watched me.

"Why are you watching me like that?" I said and hid my face behind my hands, peeking at him between my fingers.

He chuckled. "Because you are beautiful when you laugh."

That comment made my face turn a darker shade of red. "Stop."

"No, I love watching you." I reached out and tried to shove his face to the other side but of course I failed. He chuckled again but stepped out of the car and opened my door.

Gretchen greeted us at the door and kept trying to gain Christian's attention, but it was a hopeless attempt since he was watching me like a hawk.

"Anastasia!" Grace emerged from the dining room and hugged me tight.

"Hi, Grace," I answered shyly while she looked at me from head to toe. After she looked satisfied with her examination, she hugged Christian, too. We were about to enter the dining room when a loud thud and footsteps came from the stairs and a slender, dark haired girl threw herself into Christian's arms while screaming his name. I looked at Grace, surprised but she rolled her eyes and shrugged. Mia hugged Christian for a few moments and let him go abruptly. She slapped his upper arm.

"Thanks for calling me frequently, Christian!"

He rolled his eyes. "Phone calls goes both ways, you didn't call me, either."

"Well, I was busssy." They looked each other sweetly just before she turned to me. Her eyes widened and she threw herself to me in the same way she did to Christian.

"Ohmygod! You are real!" I looked at Christian in confusion and he just shrugged. She hugged me tight and then took a few steps back. She looked at me like Grace did but there was something in her eyes that made me blush furiously. She frowned.

"What happened to your face?" I swallowed, remembering the little but still visible scars from my hopeless fall into the broken glasses.

"Umm, I fell." She raised an eyebrow but didn't comment further before hugging me again.

"I'm Mia! I'm so, so, so happy to see you."

"Nice to meet you, too, Mia. I'm-"

"Anastasia. I know. You have such a pretty name! But it's too long, can I call you Ana?" I nodded. "Good. Where are you from? Are you a student? How did you meet Christian? Did you-"

"Mia, let the poor girl breathe, honey." Carrick appeared behind Mia and smiled kindly at both Christian and me. Mia huffed and squared her shoulders.

"I still don't forgive you for not telling me about her! I mean, she is Christian's first girlfriend and you didn't even bother to tell me! I hate you all!" She scowled at her father and Christian, but a huge grin spread across her face again when she turned to me. She locked her arm with mine and dragged me towards to dining room.

"I don't hate you, Ana. Now tell me more about yourself." We sat together at the dining table. I fidgeted with the hem of my skirt.

"There's not much to tell, really."

"How old are you?"

"22."

"Are you a student?"

"Umm, no. I needed to drop out for some reasons."

"What did you study?"

"English Lit."

"Ohh, so you like books?"

"She's in love with them," Christian said while taking the seat on the other side of me. I rolled my eyes.

"I love books." I answered Mia directly, ignoring Christian.

"Where did you study?"

"Harvard."

"Oh! Did you meet there?" Christian chuckled and took my hand under the table. His fingers traced mine slowly, relaxing my tense shoulders immediately. I thought the investigation was over when I last came here. Apparently not.

"You are freaking her out, Mia." He warned her; even I could hear the serious tone in his voice. "She already answered all of these questions when Mom and Dad asked."

"But she didn't answer them for me!" She whined, looking at Christian with puppy eyes. I'd laugh if I wasn't so nervous.

"Then ask Mom." She showed Christian her tongue immaturely, we both laughed until Grace and Carrick came and sat down at the table with us.

"Ask me what?" Grace asked, smiling at the three of us seated together. I started to take little pieces from my meal. Even though Christian made sure I eat at least three courses a day; it was still hard to accept food in bigger portions.

"Mia decided to learn Anastasia's life story." Christian rolled his eyes and Mia tried to slap his head, stretching her hand over my shoulder but didn't succeed.

"I'm just trying to get to know the new Grey! What's wrong with that?"

I choked on my food, trying to swallow and breathe at the same time. Christian passed me a glass of water while grimacing at Mia. He rubbed my back soothingly. All Mia did was laugh. Carrick cleared his throat and turned to Christian.

"Have you seen your brother lately? We tried to call him for tonight but he was too 'busy' as he put it." He made imaginary quotation marks in the air, looking at his son carefully. Christian shrugged.

"I haven't seen Elliot for a long time, Dad. If he says he's busy, he's busy then. Why do you try to read into it?"

Mia scoffed. "Because not all my brothers are ruling the world and they are too busy for their family." I frowned because even though I guessed that Christian's lack of interaction with his family bothered them, I didn't think they were bold enough to say it like that. He raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah? I'm guessing I'm not the one you're talking about since I'm not the one who's too busy to have dinner with his long-gone sister."

She turned to me quickly. "I don't understand how you can stand him? I'd kick him to the curb if he was my boyfriend." I laughed quietly, if anyone would be kicked in our relationship that would be me, not Christian.

"He has a certain charm," I said, caressing his arm. He smiled at me and kissed my hand that was resting on the table. Mia made a kind of voice you do when you see a cute puppy and my face turned bright red. I turned to see Grace was watching our exchange with a lovely smile on her face.

"Mr. Grey?" A foreign voice called beside the door of the dining room. A young girl in a uniform was looking at Carrick expectantly.

"Yes?"

"Mrs. Lincoln and her guest are here. Should I invite them in?" Carrick looked at Grace, who was looking equally surprised. Christian looked really angry and he hissed at his mother.

"Did you invite her?!"

"No! I just mentioned that we'll be celebrating Mia's arrival. But she's practically family, Christian, it's okay." She turned to the girl. "Please, Denise, invite them in and open services for them at the table." The girl nodded and walked away.

I was angry, too, because I was enjoying dinner and that women scared me nearly as much as she disgusted me. I couldn't understand how Christian rationalized her pedophilic tendencies but I wasn't buying it. However, there wasn't much we could do so I tried to soothe Christian. I rubbed his closed knuckles.

"I promise we'll leave early. I'm sorry, Ana, I didn't know she was going to be here." I forced a smile and rubbed his hand again. We all stood up as Elena came in to the dinner room, laughing disturbingly high-pitched and hugging Mia tight. I rolled my eyes when I saw the displeased look on Mia's face but I froze when a very familiar blonde head came into my view. I knew that head. I knew that fair blonde hair and I definitely knew the piercing blue that eyes met mine. I wanted to run. I wanted to hide between Christian and demand him to protect me. I wanted to kneel so that he would be happy with me. But I just froze. I barely registered Elena saying hi to me and kissing Christian's cheek.

He shook hands with Grace and Carrick kindly.

"I'm very pleased to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Grey." He said with that kind voice, I couldn't even blink. Christian was touching my arm, I could feel it but I couldn't answer. "I'm Jack Hyde." I felt my knees buckle and I fell into my seat. I remembered the first time I heard his name: _"You don't really find people who love books in bookstores these times. I'm so glad to find you, Anastasia. I'm Jack Hyde, by the way. See you around."_ That unconsciousness left my body slowly while he walked towards us; fear came to its place. I was literally shaking with fear. He held his hand out for Christian and I watched as his filthy hand grasped Christian's helplessly. He then turned to me. His expression neutral but I knew the look on that face. I knew that it meant "be quiet and don't cause trouble or you will pay the price." He held his hand out to me, but the movement made me flinch and take a step back towards Christian's chest.

"No." My voice was barely audible but both of them heard me. Christian pulled me closer to his body, but I shook with fear at the angry look in his blue eyes. I heard his footstep in the hall. I heard the soft song he always hummed when he was angry. I felt his fingers in my body, his hot breath on my neck while he forced a dildo into my ass without lube. I remembered biting my hand from the pain because screaming wasn't acceptable. I knew this anger, even though he looked innocently towards Grace.

"Is there something wrong with her?" I was shaking violently as Grace stood up and came close. She held my head between her hands but I couldn't hear what she was saying because she was so close to him. He could grab her hair easily. He could hit her head against the corner of the table. He could force his hands under her dress easily. She couldn't fight him. No one could. I was so scared for her. I tried to plead, beg, and warn her. She must get away. Away from him.

"Please," was the only word I could manage while my vision got blurry, looking at her lovely but worried face. He would destroy her. Suddenly strong arms grabbed me and carried me outside. Panic set in my throat, it was my fault again. He grabbed me. He was going to take me under the stairs and punish me. I deserved it. I shouldn't cry, it makes it worse. "Don't cry." I commanded to my body but it didn't listen to me. There was something under my hand, though. Something warm, against the chilly air. Something was beating rhythmically under my hand and I suddenly realized that I knew this beat. I knew the heart beating under my hand; it was the one who kept my nightmares away at nights. It was the one strong heartbeat in an injured chest. His name chimed like the bells in Christmas in my brain, chasing the fear away. My eyes blurred again as I started to see his anxious face in front of my eyes. His shirt was open and both his hands were holding my hand to his heart.

"Christian?" I asked. I had to be sure it was him.

"It's me, Blue," he said quietly. And I was gone when I heard my nickname coming breathless from his mouth. I threw myself against him and cried when he held me tightly to his chest and told me it's all going to be okay. I knew it wasn't going to be though. The Master found me and he won't let anyone else take me. But in his arms, I wanted to believe that everything would be okay.

* * *

 **(CPOV)**

"Sshhh." I tried to soothe her and brushed her hair. The fear was still running in my veins, my skin cold. I've never seen her like this before and I was so scared. I didn't notice how she froze when she saw the man coming inside at first. I was busy shooting daggers at Elena for coming here unannounced even though I told her to stay away from Anastasia. I tried to calm Anastasia down by calling her name, caressing her arms . . . I thought she was nervous about Elena. How wrong I was! I've seen many kinds of fear in this life but never once, like the fear I saw in Anastasia's eyes while she was looking at him. She started to shake as he came close and it got worse when he extended his hand towards her. My mother tried to help but she was unresponsive, all she did was shake terribly and beg Grace. For what, I didn't know. But it broke me. And then she started to hyperventilate, she couldn't breathe. I don't remember ever being so scared before. Grace told me to take her outside so that she could breathe but it didn't work, either. She was still shaking and begging. Being the thick head, I couldn't remember the one thing that calmed her down. My heartbeat. A part of me was still scared, because I had gotten used to her touching me when she was asleep but not when she was awake. However, the fear of losing Ana was greater than the fear of being touched, so I quickly unbuttoned my shirt and pressed her hand to my chest. And thank God it worked. She realized that I was there and threw herself against me. I didn't mind. I'd keep her in my arms forever if that meant she would be okay.

I raised my head and met my mother's eyes. She looked shocked, at first I thought she was that way because of Anastasia's state but soon, her look shifted to Anastasia's delicate hand pressed to my chest. I sighed.

"Mom? What do I have to do?" I pointed to the broken girl who was crying her eyes out in my chest. She shook her head and went inside quickly, returning with a glass of water. She handed it to me and I turned to Anastasia, lifting her tear stained face to mine. I held the glass to her lips and she drank slowly, hiccuping between sips. Grace brought a blanket and I put it around her small frame. She was quiet now. I caressed her hair again.

"You're safe, Blue." I whispered. "I'll keep you safe." She suddenly stood up and looked towards the door, where my mother was standing anxiously. Her eyes filled with tears again.

"He's going to hurt you." Her voice was hoarse and shattered. My mother looked at me, confused. I wasn't stupid, I knew that Jack Hyde bastard inside had something to do with her state and now I was sure that he was the man who kidnapped and raped and tortured her for four years. My body shook with anger, noticing that she was worried because he'd hurt my mother.

"No, baby." I tried to speak as gently as I could manage with the fury taken over my mind. "He's not going to hurt my mother or you. I'll keep you safe." She shook her head.

"Too close. Grace. Too close. Please run. He'll hurt you, too." I looked to my mother for help but tears were spilling from her eyes and she looked helpless. I sighed again and turned Anastasia's face towards mine and kissed her tears away. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply.

"Are you ready to go home?" She nodded and leaned towards me, placing her head to the crook of my neck and letting exhaustion take her. I carried her to the car and cursed myself for not bringing Taylor with us today. I called him as soon as I placed Anastasia in the backseat.

He answered in the first ring.

"Mr. Grey?"

"Go get the other boys and come to my parents' place immediately. I need you to capture that blonde fucker and keep him somewhere safe until I come to question him. I don't think he's alone, he must have some bodyguard around somewhere."

"Weapons, sir?" I thought for a moment.

"Yes, but just in case. You are not going to harm anyone from my family."

"I'll be there in 10 minutes, Mr. Grey." I didn't bother to answer him as I ended the call. I looked around but saw no other car then Elena's. Good. I hoped that his security team wasn't as qualified as mine but I trusted Taylor. I looked at Anastasia one last time and promised her that I'd keep her safe no matter what. That bastard wasn't going out as a free man from my parents' house tonight. I put on my "CEO face" like Anastasia names it because it was show time.

My mother was still on the front porch when I turned back. She wiped her cheeks.

"Is she alright?"

"She will be. Let's turn back."

She looked at me confused. "I thought you were taking her back?"

"She's asleep now, Mom," I said gently and grabbed her arm, coaxing her inside. "I don't know when I will have the chance to see Mia."

"Oh." Was her only response as we turned to the dining room. A silence was evident in the room but Mia ran to me as soon as I got inside. Her makeup was smudged.

"Oh, Christian! Is Anastasia going to be alright? What happened to her?" I hugged her once and let her go.

"I don't know," I said. "She has these kinds of breakdowns from time to time."

"Poor girl," my mother said, taking her place at the table again. "It looks like she's been through a lot."

"I'm sorry if my appearance caused that kind of reaction," the bastard said, looking sad and innocent as he apologized to me. "I just wanted to say hi." I used all the self-control I had to not jump on him. I nodded. Elena was looking at me smugly, a disgusting look on her face. I was going to deal with her, too. Apparently, it wasn't a coincidence her bringing that man to see Anastasia. She knew. I forced myself to act normal but I was reaching my limit. My phone buzzed with a text from Taylor, alerting that they were here. I smiled sheepishly.

"It was nice to see you all, everybody. But I have to leave. Have a good night." I caught the look Jack threw to Elena, panicked. I said goodbye to my family but Elena purred as I reached for her hand.

"I'll walk you out, dear. We were going to leave, too. Right, Jack?" He nodded and stood up. Good. Walk, pretty boy. Walk. Together we went to the porch. I couldn't help but feel giddy; I was going to hurt him so much that he was going to wish he was never born. He was going to beg for forgiveness. _Good._ A voice in my head said. _Let him beg._

* * *

 ** _A/N : Very special thanks to_ SilverSteeleandGrey for fixing my mistakes.**


	16. Chapter 16 : Getting There

**Chapter 16 : Getting There**

"You look like it's going to come alive and bite your hand." Christian commented from his spot in the kitchen table. He's been watching my hand leaning towards the envelope just to be pulled back quickly. I shot him a dirty look which made him laugh and hold my hand across the table.

"Baby. You need to open it to learn what does it say. Besides, worst case scenario is that they reject you. Even then, you have nothing to lose. If you look around I'm sure you can find people who didn't graduate from Harvard and doing just well." He pointed himself with his other hand and smiled crookedly. I knew he was right, but I still wanted to be accepted. It took months of therapy to be able to apply for Harvard again and today I held the result in my hand. Christian was with me all along the way, but I didn't want him to interfere because let's face it, he could've make them accept me with money. He wanted to, but he respected my wishes. I'd laugh if I wasn't so nervous right now, being respected was such a foreign concept for me.

He finally had enough I think, he reached out and carefully opened the letter. My palms were sweaty, and I was nibbling my lips while I watch his eyes search the paper with a passive face.

"What is it?" I asked. His eyes met mine and he shook his head slowly, his face morphed into sadness. I burst into tears. He quickly walked around and held me. His hands rubbing slow circles on my back.

"I'm sorry baby." He murmured. "I know how hard you studied. I'm sorry." I don't say anything because I should've known. I mean, this is Harvard. Of course, they won't accept an old student who dropped out without giving any notice or whatsoever. But it didn't mean that it hurt less. I tried to take deep breaths and control my breathing.

"It's alright. I'll just take online classes." I patted Christian's hands, I knew that he was thinking about giving a huge bribe to make me get in. I laughed at his contemplating face, after half a year of living with him, it was as easy as breathing to read his face. "Don't even think about it Christian Grey."

He looked at me, trying to look innocent.

"About what?" I rolled my eyes and hugged him one last time before standing up and filling myself a glass of water to calm myself down. I knew it wasn't end of the world, but I couldn't help but thinking how it would be like to get back the campus I was forced to leave behind. See, this is why you shouldn't dream things. You always get disappointed. Strong, familiar arms hug me from behind and I feel Christian's lips in my nape.

"It's their loss." He murmurs, still holding me. I lean into his body and let the tension leave my body. It's hard but Christian helps. As he always did. I'm reminded of that dark times, already 3 months passed but it feels like it was just yesterday sometimes. I close my eyes, forcing myself to stay in the moment.

 _I can hear the gunshots as clearly as I did that day. Waking me up from my slumber in the backseat of Christian's car. I heard shouting and more gunshot, but I can't get out of the car, the doors are locked. I punch the windows, trying to get out but it's impossible. All I can do is cry until gunshots stops and screaming gets louder. I hear Mia screaming for Christian. I hear Christian screaming Taylor. Darkness consumes me as I try to stay awake but its not possible, it gets-_

"Come back to me." I'm suddenly aware of Christian has been shaking my shoulders. I shook my head and smiled at him. My rock. My anchor. But not my Christian. Reminder filled me with dread immediately. He refuses to acknowledge his feelings to me. I still remember how he told me wants to kiss me before. And when I told him I want his heart, he said he didn't have one. Still, I know he does. But he refuses to see me as something romantic or God forbid, sexual. I don't blame him though. Seeing the things Hyde carried with himself, I would be disgusted too. But it doesn't change the fact that along the way I fell in love with this man. And unfortunately, there is nothing I can do about it.

* * *

 **CPOV**

I watched her trying to stay in the moment, for maybe thousand times but it's still breaking me. I hate that we couldn't manage to take down that fucker at first. I hate that I subjected her to all this chaos, causing her to have panic attacks and nearly erase the progress she made in our first 3 month together.

Jack Hyde was a clever man. He didn't trust Elena and brought his basic guarding team which took down two of my men as soon as they tried to capture him. Guns fired, men got hurt but in the end Taylor managed to take down his best man, Geoffrey. I'd love to say I put Jack and his disgusting helpers apart limp by limp but the fact that all this showdown happens in my family's home made it impossible. When think of it now I know that it was me being over-confident and underestimating Jack Hyde's security. I should've planned instead of calling Taylor directly but after seeing Ana fell apart like that… I had no other rational thought in my head but ending his miserable life.

My father, being a servant to the law, didn't let me take that bastard with me. Instead we called police. Like good guys. I grit my teeth. It still made me want to puke, Jack carried some pictures of Anastasia with him. He believed that I was going to hand her to him like a toy instead of a human being. We haven't seen much, police took all the evidence and before that Carrick didn't let me touch them longer.

"Come back to me?" Small arms squeezed my hands and brought me back to the life. Her voice was hesitant, like a question instead of a command. In contrast to mine a few minutes ago. I tried to take deep breaths and assure myself that she's safe and content here with me. It's hard when the trauma is still too fresh in our minds. We still find ourselves waking up in sweat, reaching for each other.

"Always." I murmured and kissed the top of her head.

"Ew." She scrunched her nose. "Very Snape-y."

"You mean an eternal love that makes you love a married woman and treat her son like shit when he's growing up?" My comment made her throw her head back and laugh. I smile, watching her laugh. We're not okay yet. But I must believe that we're getting better. We have to.

* * *

 **A/N**

 **Hey guys. Your responses to my question made me want to weep, so many people told me that they don't mind as long as I do what I feel comfortable with. I actually didn't expect to get this much suppoting reviews, thank you.**

 **As you read, I've chosen the time skip. However it made sense that some people told that 6 months was too long and that would cause gaps. Also I totally understand some of you wants to see the bad people gets punished. SOOO I think this one is somewhere in the middle. I skip 3 months instead of 6, I'm going to keep writing flashbacks, don't worry. You didn't see Jack get punished(Also, don't worry prison is not all he got) but you will see Elena. I think this option is better than the other two.**

 **I apologize for the grammar mistakes in the chapter, my previous beta doesn't answer my messages so its just you and I guys.**

 **P.S Please stop suggesting I leave the story to another author, I value my work too much to hand it over to someone else. I promised you I'll finish it.**

 **I'm waiting for your reviews**

 **Love you all**

 **-Alina**


	17. Chapter 17 : Testing Waters

**Chapter 17: Testing Waters**

The silence is really disturbing. I don't know why I agreed to meet with Mia again. Every time we meet she either sits like a statue, watching me with critical eyes or talks about nonsense all the time because she doesn't want to accept the things Christian and I told her about my 4 years with Jack Hyde.

I sigh for the hundredth time today, looking around the café we agreed to meet at, and take a sip from my now cold tea. She looks as uncomfortable as I feel but she really insisted to see me… I'm having a hard time understanding what it is she wants from me.

"I'm leaving tomorrow night," she says quietly. I nod. Christian already told me that she has been thinking about going back to France for a while, but she stayed for Grace's sake.

"Have a good flight, Mia," I answer, and this time she sighs. Her hand reaches out to touch mine tentatively.

"Ana, I'm sorry." Her voice is full of emotion and she looks like she is about to burst into tears. I squeeze her hand in mine. I can understand how hard it is to face the ugliness of the real world when you've grown up treated as a princess. "It's just so hard to think about the slight possibility of something like that happening to me. I can't even imagine how scared you must be… I'm sorry I acted like I didn't believe you and all the things I said in the beginning." Tears are falling down her cheeks, landing on the perfectly white tablecloth, creating tiny little spots.

I'm speechless, I didn't expect her to apologize but I can't bring myself to accept it. Flynn always tells me to put myself first so I force myself to take a deep breath and square my shoulders.

"I know it's hard, Mia. I never expected you to be my friend or anything, but I can't forget your laughing voice." My eyes fill with tears when I remember her sarcastic comments in the living room of the Grey's house. "I wish Christian could find that place. And I would be able take you and Carrick to the dungeon downstairs. Then we could see how you two would manage to escape." I don't like the way my voice hardens at the end of the sentence but I can't help it, and frankly, I don't want to.

She nods frantically, still crying. "I know I don't deserve forgiveness but can you try to talk to Christian? I want to say goodbye."

I let out a sarcastic chuckle.

"He loves you, Mia. He'll forgive whatever you do as long as you ask him to. I'm not going to apologize on your behalf or Carrick's." I stand up, get my small bag, and place some bills on the table. I don't want to owe her anything. "Goodbye, Mia," I say and get out of the café as fast as I can.

Sawyer opens my door when he sees me approaching. I don't even have the energy to thank him. I just lean my head against the tinted window and close my eyes.

Even though I spent hours in the car on that awful day, I can imagine how shocked the Greys were. Finding yourself in the middle of a huge gunfight between two security teams and your son trying to murder your guest, that has to be shocking. I understand, I do, but I don't think I can ever forget the disgusted look Carrick gave me when Christian, Grace, and Grace's doctor friend Jane tried to calm my full blown panic attack. I can't forget how he told Christian he's a fool if he thinks a basic whore is worth the scandal. I can't forget how Mia laughed when I told the story I have only told Christian.

"Oh, come on!" Mia laughed sarcastically. "You want us to believe that you couldn't get out? You didn't see sunlight for 4 years? I've seen the pictures! I'm sure you enjoyed that sick plays!"

It's impossible to get it out of my head, even though a part of me knows that I should learn to accept these reactions. If I tell anyone else in the future, I know this is the reaction I'll get. Being a human is so tiring… I barely pull myself up from the window when Sawyer opens my door. I thank him and head into Escala. I know Christian planned to lock himself in the office this weekend, but after this tiring conversation, I need to be in his arms.

I take the tea Gail made without saying anything. I don't know how but Gail has a strange ability to understand me when I'm on the verge of snapping. I don't even knock when I enter his office, and he doesn't raise his head from his laptop. I can see he is talking with someone about numbers and facilities; I don't understand what it any of it means. I place the teacups on the nearest table, and with sudden courage I shut his laptops screen down.

"What the fuck, Ana!" He nearly screams but I don't even care. I forcefully plant myself in his lap even though he tries to push me off, muttering how important that call was. He is stronger than me so it doesn't take him long to remove me from his lap and stand up. He is mad, really mad. I can see storms in his gray eyes; he looks like he wants to murder me. Not that I would mind but I need him now. So I reach up and yank his shirt open with all the power I have, buttons fly everywhere but I don't care. I put my hand over his his heart and close my eyes, trying to focus on the unfamiliar, fast beating. He is always warm, I don't know how but he is. I lean into him and put my other hand on his chest. I feel so cold inside. I need him.

I hear and feel as a huge breath leaves his body. His strong arms circle me and he sits back down in his chair, holding me tightly against him. His heartbeat slows down as does my own.

"What happened, Blue?" he whispers and with that nickname, I suddenly feel like I'm back to square one. I bury my head in the crook of his neck.

"I'm sorry I shut down your computer like that. It was childish but I need you." I sound like a needy pathetic child. But then, I always feel like a little child when I admit I need him, even to myself.

"You could've told me." He sighs. "You know I've got nothing more important than you are. But you can't interrupt a conference like that. Next time just text me, ok? I'll find a way to end my work as soon as possible. Don't do something like that again." I can hear the authority in his voice and it scares me a lot. I cower and nod. He's right, I know he is. I can't even remember the number of times he left his job to come and calm me down in my sessions in the last 3 months. I know I'm his priority. I don't know why I did that.

"I can't recognize myself." I look up to his eyes. "It's not me. You know I'm still scared of coming here when you are working but I don't know what just came over me. It's not me!" I cry out loud.

"Sshh." He rubs my back. "You know Flynn warned us, remember? You are going to drive me mad because there is a part of you that wants to know if I'm not going to punish you." I sigh, I remember that. He says that even though Christian is the one I trust the most, I still don't trust him at all. He kisses my forehead. "I'm not going to lash out, Blue. I'm not going to beat you. I care about you. You are the most important thing in my life." I try to swallow the huge lump in my throat. My heart hurts when he says things like that.

"Even if I burn _The Grace_ down?" I try to joke, thankfully he plays along.

"I built her, I can build another boat. Let me find a lighter."

"Even if I sell your company to Flynn?"

"I'll sign the papers."

"Even if I force you to listen to the Spice Girls?"

"Whoa! Stop there young lady!" he shouts dramatically, making me giggle. His phone is ringing on the table. He reaches for it and answers the call. I immediately understand it is Ros because someone is screaming and she is the only one who can scream at him. Well I guess I can too. He listens for a few seconds.

"Ana needed me," he says quietly, which stops Ros's screams. She has been my close friend over these months. She doesn't know the details, and I don't think I can ever tell her but she told me that she has had her fair share of monsters growing up and I can talk to her if I want. Usually I don't, but she comes over anytime I go to see Christian in the office and somehow, she makes me feel normal. I'm so ashamed of myself right now. I don't listen to their conversation, I just bury myself back into Christian as close as I can and concentrate on his heartbeat.

 **MiaPOV**

"I don't think she'll talk with you, Dad," I say quietly. It's unsettling to see my father like this. He has always been my number one hero. I used to think that nothing could crush him but apparently I was wrong. We are sitting in his office, where he spends many nights recently. Mom doesn't say anything but we are both ashamed of ourselves. We can't look at her without feeling awful.

Both my dad and I know how disgusting human beings we are. Even though that night three months ago was not her fault, for a long time we felt like it was Anastasia who brought all these trouble to our lives. It was like she broke our family but I know how unfair we were being. I want to throw up every time I remember how I actually thought that she might want these awful things to be done to herself.

Dad pats my hand and lets out a huge breath, his shoulders slumped forward.

"I think it'll be better if I don't try," he murmurs.

"She said that she hopes Christian finds that place Jack kept her. She said—" I swallow forcefully. "She'd tie both of us up and see how we would get out." I don't know if it is possible but my dad slouches in his chair even more.

"It won't be the same though." He laughs without any humor. "There should be someone there to rape and beat us constantly and then maybe we'll understand and stop being such soulless creatures."

I close my eyes, I cried enough today. We made a mistake. A mistake that tore our family apart. Christian, Elliot and Mom on one side, Dad and I on the other. Running away had always been my profession so I do what I know best, even though I know it's wrong. I just hope that they can mend the relationships we destroyed. I don't even know if it's possible to be fixed, but I don't tell Dad that when I rub his forearms.


End file.
